


Hey, Your Eyes are Really Pretty

by seducedbycurls



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: /slight, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Character Development, Cigarettes, Comedy, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Drugs, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Haphephobia, Happy Ending, Harry is intense, Loss of Virginity, Lots of Crying, Louis is soft, M/M, Photography, Recreational Drug Use, Religion, Religious Conflict, Religious Content, Romance, Self Confidence Issues, Smut, Strangers to Friends, lots of fighting, louis cries alot, religious!Louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-09-25
Packaged: 2017-12-26 07:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 56,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/963465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seducedbycurls/pseuds/seducedbycurls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything was fine before Harry<br/>Everything was fine before Louis</p><p>but Harry thinks life could get a little better</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Genesis

**Author's Note:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

-

 Louis opened his eyes slowly against the darkness of his bedroom. He carefully stepped off of his bed, sliding the covers from his frame. His small feet touched the floor without much of a sound and after about a minute of sitting he knelt onto the warm carpet.

The silence in the apartment was ear-piercing, something that he was very used to, something that he never wanted to change –something that would never change.

Louis folded his hands on the small twin bed and wiggled his toes together. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and rested his head against the bed. “Jehovah God, my heavenly father, thank you for allowing me to wake up today. Thank you for watching over me and making sure I am safe in my daily life. You are my greatest friend, please continue to protect and watch over me as the days pass. In the means of your son, and our king, Jesus Christ. Amen.” Louis kissed his folded hands and stood up off the floor.

Today was a ‘worldly day’. It was going to be a long day. Louis enjoyed staying home and reading, cleaning, praying. This is what his life consisted of. But Louis was human, he had to eat and make sure to go to the post office to pick up packages from his parents. –Louis had to function outside of his home and he hated it.

The twenty three year old lived alone since he was eighteen. Louis loved the small –quiet –community he specifically chose to live in. Too many people meant too many problems.

He was born a healthy boy, weighing in at seven pounds. He was a lucky child, the only one his mother was actually able to conceive. His parents were kind people, gave him everything when he asked for nothing, they loved Louis with toys and gifts. He went to a Catholic school his whole life and graduated first in his class. Louis wasn’t what you called a ‘social butterfly’, since small he enjoyed being alone, never made close friends. Louis felt that he needed one friend and he had Him, God. Louis never worked a day in his life and he was fine with that. He couldn’t even imagine working at this point in his life. His parents supplied him with all the money he needed and that was just fine.

              Louis climbed inside his bathtub and grabbed his shampoo, squirting some in his hand; he lathered his hair in the fruity substance. Louis didn’t enjoy being in the shower long, he somewhat felt uncomfortable being nude.

“He is jealous of me,” He hummed a small tune. “Loves like a hurricane and I am a tree…”

A small ray of light casually entered Louis’ small bathroom window. He finished washing, stepping out of the shower to quickly dry and get dressed. It didn’t take him very long to decided what to wear, a knitted sweater, blacks jeans –simple, easy, non-attention-grabbing. He slipped his glasses on his face, brushed his teeth and hair –a routine he could never forget. Louis grabbed the bible from under his pillow and cradled it under his arm until he reached the living room. Placing the Holy book down, he made his way away from his spacious living room; only containing a bookshelf, couch, side table, lamp and rug.

It was breakfast time and for the most part he had the same breakfast every day. Louis checked the time, 7:28AM. He smiled softly, lowering his bread into the toaster. He pulled the peanut butter from the cabinet and a banana from his fruit bowl. As he cut his banana he sang.

 “If God had a name, what would it be and…” Louis whistled throwing the peel into the trash. “Would you call it to his face in all his glory…?”

Louis jumped, startled by the toaster. He ran over to see his bread had burnt. Louis frowned, pulling the piece from the toaster. Louis would eat the bread, although burnt, because wasting food was a sin and Louis was, by no means, a sinner. It was unfortunate that the bread burnt, it was very odd too. Louis was more than sure it would be a bad day.

He spread peanut butter on the dark bread and set his bananas on top. Louis set it on a plate, served a cup of water and sat beside his bible. He fit his small body onto one cushion of his couch and opened his bible on top his lap. Louis had read the bible before, the whole thing –four times. Someone had once told him if you read the whole bible you’d go crazy. Louis didn’t believe so.

“Genesis 1:1, in the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth.” Louis took a bite of his breakfast, not enjoying the taste. He chewed awkwardly on the very crunchy bread. If he focused he could probably read all of Genesis by 11:00, when the stores opened.


	2. Nice to Meet You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

-

Louis woke up for the second time that morning and rubbed his eyes. He stared outside of his window for a while before shooting off the couch, knocking his plate onto the floor. “Oh goodness!” He ran to the kitchen. 12:42. “No, no!” He whined running to his room throwing on some shoes before running back to the living room to grab his bible.

 

Louis whispered to himself as he hurried down the street. Thankfully no one was really outside today. He walked quickly against the stone pavement, ignoring the heat from the sun. Louis could walk this street blind folded. He knew where everything was and where everything wasn’t. It was really hot outside today and probably not too smart of him to wear a sweater. He wiped at the sweat that fell down his face and paced his steps, not trying to bump into anyone who may be coming around a corner.

              “Stupid, she was just stupid!”

              Louis kept his gaze on the sidewalk as two people approached him. All he needed to do was relax, it wasn’t like they were going to talk to him; Louis was panicking for no reason. The voice grew louder and Louis said a small prayer for his feet to move faster.

              “She was rude and inconsiderate!”

              Louis chewed into his lip, pulling some skin, making himself flinch. He finally looked up, not wanting to physically bump into the two. His palms produced enough sweat that he had to wipe them against his jeans. Louis felt like he could feel gravity pushing him against the pavement when one the boys caught his eyes.

              Louis could finally breathe, slowing down to catch his breath. “Thank you, Lord-”

              “Excuse me? Hey –ex –excuse me!”

              Louis stopped walking. He almost turned around but then someone was running towards him and he took off in a sprint.

              “Hey! Wait a second!”

              Louis couldn’t see too well because his glasses came off somewhere in his take off. He refused to turn around because the steps only seemed to be getting closer. It wasn’t until a second voice was screaming at him that Louis took a look back. Two people were chasing him, lovely.

              Louis looked up briefly, “God, make them go away.” He rounded the corner slipping slightly.

              “Hey, I’m not trying to hurt you!”

Louis’ legs were aching and his biggest mistake was turning the corner because he was behind the laundry mat where no one would hear him if he screamed for help. Louis blacked out for a second when his whole body was tackled to the cement.

“Please!” He begged through tears. “Leave me alone, take my money!”

The man on top of him was breathing hard, “Ho –Holy shit!” He was obviously trying to regulate his breathing. “Y –you run so fucking fast.”

Louis struggled beneath him. This man was way too close. Louis groaned pushing up against his body. “Get off! Get off!”

“Hey, please.” The guy slowly backed off of him. “I’m not going to mug you, I’m not gunna hurt you, I swear.”

“Ugh!” Louis scurried away, wiping off his arms as if there was dirt on him. He flinched when the guy reached out for him. “Stop touching me!”

“Okay, Okay.” The guy held up his hands. “Relax, please. Don’t run, I just wanted to tell you something. Please, don’t run.”

Louis got off the floor quickly and wiped his soaked eyes. He turned around, holding his bag close and pretended that it never happened. If he pretended hard enough then it never happened.

“Wait, wait, wait.” The man ran in front of him and Louis stepped back.

Louis sniffled, clutching his cross body. “Plea –please leave me alone.”

“Ooh.” The man cooed. “I don’t mean to make you cry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to scare you.” He looked around, still breathing hard. “I didn’t want to chase you but you just started running.” He shook his head. “I just wanted to tell you something.”

Louis swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He wanted to fold in on himself. He brought one hand up to his mouth, looking the chaser up and down. He was very tall, he had red basketball shorts on and a black shirt. He was covered in tattoos and his hair was very curly –very messy. He looked similar to a toddler that colored on themselves. Louis’ eyes stopped on the cross around his neck.

“Hey, hello?”

“W –what?”

“Are you okay?”

“I –I’m very busy.” He took a small step forward. “I have to leave.”

“Okay, okay.” The guy nodded slowly. “I just wanted to say –”

“Oh my fucking God!” The man’s blonde friend dragged his feet toward them. “I –I have to go –to the gym.” He held his back, groaning loudly. “You are so fucking fast, Jesus Christ.” He pointed Louis’ glasses at him. “You –you dropped these, man.”

Louis snatched them away quickly and fixed them on his face. They may have been a little dirty but he didn’t care, he just wanted to go home. Louis scurried away from the pair and watched the toddler the whole time he did.

“Wait!”

“Please!” Louis pleaded. “I need to go. I will give you money. You can have it.” He held up his hand. “Just stop.”

The guy stepped closer, “Okay, yes. Can I at least have your name so I can apologize properly?”

Louis contemplated even telling him his name. “Lou –Louis.”

“I’m sorry if I hurt you, Louis. I really am.” The man smiled. “I’m Harry.” Louis looked away, finally seizing the opportunity to leave. “Hey, your eyes are really pretty.”

Louis shouldn’t have stopped moving, but he did. His eyes were pretty?          

                “They are the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.” Harry cleared his throat. “Thanks for letting me look at them a little while longer.”

Louis had to pluck his feet from the ground.

“Nice to meet you, Louis…”

-

Louis did his best to unlock his door, messing up twice. He stomped his foot, trying to control his shaking. “Come on, come on.” He whispered harshly at his door until it opened. Louis left the keys on the floor and took off for his bedroom, falling onto the floor but finally making to his room. He rubbed harshly at his eyes, crying out his prayers.

“Je –Jehovah God.” Louis covered his mouth. “God! My heavenly father, I need you –I need you.” Louis’ eyes stayed tightly shut but tears seemed to cave through. “A boy attacked me –he touched me! –please remove any bad things that he may have left on me!” Louis laid on the floor in a puddle. “In the means of –of your son and –” Louis covered his eyes with his palms and pressed them on his eyes. “A –amen.”

-

“Psalms 27:1,” Louis read aloud, biting into his apple. “The Lord is my light and my salvation.” He scratched his wet hair back, “whom shall I fear? –The Lord is the stronghold of my life –of whom shall I be afraid?” Louis smiled warmly at the scripture. He flipped to his favorite verse; “1 Peter 5:7, cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”           

    Louis slowly closed his bible and laid his head on the arm of his couch. He kept his legs close to his body and took another small bite of his apple.

_‘Hey, your eyes are really pretty…’_

The floor caught Louis’ attention.

_‘They are the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.’_

He took another bite, shaking his head at the thought.

_‘Nice to meet you, Louis…’_

Louis finally stood up after chewing through his thumb nail. It had been five days since he met Harry and Louis wasn’t sure if he was actually handling it well or not. He couldn’t eat properly without thinking about Harry chasing him, couldn’t shower without thinking about the way Harry’s cross swayed from left to right. Harry’s necklace was a cross… Harry had to love God, right? Why have one if you don’t?

It was pretty late; he could go for a walk around the park? Louis paced from his couch to his kitchen, from his kitchen to his bedroom and from his bedroom back to the same spot on the couch. Should he even consider going out? What if Harry was out –what were the odds? Louis pondered on the thought, nibbling on his pinkie. Louis felt like his fear was a tad bit extreme and unhealthy. He only went out at night now. He didn’t have the opportunity to go to the book store but he could go grocery shopping and pick up his mail in the evening.

He groaned stomping to his room to grab a sweater. “He won’t be out.” Louis repeated while putting on his shoes. “If you haven’t seen him by now, you won’t.” He took a deep breath and grabbed his keys, cross body and bible. Louis opened his door and closed it softly. He leaned on his door briefly, chewing on the inside of his cheek before making his way towards the stairs. He walked down each step slowly, trying to reassure himself. Louis hit the second floor, stilling his steps.

“Louis?”

Louis could feel the air in his lungs disperse throughout the rest of his body. The man –the burden that haunted his very mind –the burden that gave him restless nights and he prayed to never see again has somehow appeared right in front of him. Why? What for? What did he do to deserve this? Why did God believe he deserved this?

“Louis, right?”

Louis’ eyes shot to his feet and he marched right back up the stairs.

“Hey, hey, why are you ignoring me?”

Louis was ignoring him, tis true. He pretended not to hear the man. This can’t be happening again. He was two doors away from his door when Harry grabbed him. Louis had chills run from his head to the hand that reached for him. He gagged in repulsion. “Don’t touch me.”

“Woah,” Harry held up his hands. “Wait, please wait. I just wanted to say hello.” Louis felt ill. “Do you remember me?”

“H –how could I forget?” Louis was shaking. He didn’t feel okay. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want someone bothering him. He didn’t need someone touching him and trying to talk to him. He held his wrist to his chest. Harry glanced at the action.

“Louis? Tell me that’s your name, please?

“M –my name is Louis.”

Harry smiled for a small moment. He tilted his head to the side. “You’re crying again. Why are you crying?”

“I just want to go home.”

“But,” Harry pointed behind himself. “You were just leaving.”

“No…” Louis rubbed his wrist. “I’m going home.”

“Okay, okay.” Harry calmed. “Just don’t run.”

Louis closed his eyes praying for God to get him out of this ridiculous situation. Only if teleportation was real. “I knew I wouldn’t forget you.” Louis eyes flickered open, wet lashes touching his lids. “Your eyes…”

“What?”

“Your eyes.” Harry repeated, this time with a small smile and a bounce in his stand. “Couldn’t get them out of my head.” He leaned back on his heels. “So blue, really blue.”

Louis made a strangled sound before booking it to his apartment. No, no, no! Not his eyes or touching! No! No!

“Louis!” Harry chased him. “Come on, I let you go!”

Louis struggled with his keys when Harry came closer. “J –just le –le –leave me alone!” Louis dropped his keys on the floor, laying his head on the door in defeat. “Stop –following me.”

Louis’ small body trembled and his nose filled up with boogers. “Hey…” Harry spoke, slowly leaning down to pick up his keys. “Please, relax. I’m not a murder, I’m really nice.” He leaned down to try and look at the crying boy. “I’m sorry we started off bad; please don’t cry.” Harry reached out to hand Louis his keys making the nervous man back up against his door. “Here, take them.”

Louis snatched them quickly, clutching them in his palm. In any other situation Louis would mumble a quick thanks but not this one.

“I promise I’m not following you.” Harry pointed down the hall. “I live here.”

Louis wanted to shrink into the crack of his door. “No.” Great, now he had to move.

“Uh,” Harry scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, I’m apartment 315. –I swear. I kind of just moved in with my friends –brothers.” Harry chuckled, “friend-brothers.’ Louis didn’t even flinch. Louis had never seen Harry or anyone new for that matter. At the same time, Louis had become a hermit for a few days.

“You, uh, live here?” Harry leaned over looking at the door number. “Apartment 310? That’s cool, we should hang out sometime.”

Louis swallowed dryly. “Harry…” He cringed at saying the stranger’s name. “Please, leave me alone. Please, never talk to me again.”

Harry pressed his lips together and Louis hoped he offended him so he would back off. But Harry shrugged, a very easy shrug. “Eh, sorry but I can’t.”

Louis’ jaw fell opened slightly. “y –yo –you ca –cant?”

Harry started backing away, “blame your eyes, I guess.”

-

Louis screamed into his pillow, kicking his legs furiously in complete discomfort. This wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t. He shouldn’t be crying so much! He scooted to the corner of his bed, the wall being his support. Louis pulled his knees close to his chest and sobbed.

“Je –Jehovah. Ah,” He cried, covering his mouth to not bother the neighbors. “Oh God.” He whispered, vision completely blurred. “Please, Lord, make this stop.” Louis begged. “Make him go away!” Louis clawed his way to the bag at the end of his bed. He ripped his bible from it and held it to his chest. He stayed that way for a few minutes.

Louis shut his eyes before flipping through the Holy book, stopping on a random page and pointed at a scripture. Louis licked his lips before reading. “E –Ephesians 4:32… Be kind –be kind to one another…” He sniffled wiping at his swollen eyes with the back of his hand. “Ten –tenderhearted, forgiving one –one another as God in Christ forgave you.” Louis slid the bible under his pillow before laying his head on it.

“Be kind, be kind.” He chanted. “Be kind, Louis. You have to be kind.” He played with a small feather that poked out of his pillow. “Savior I come…” He mumbled. “Rid me of myself, I belong to you…”

_“Blame your eyes.”_

Louis rolled over on his side and sighed, what would he do? What could he do? Louis slid off his bed and onto his knees. He clasped his hands together and prayed.

“Jehovah God, my Heavenly Father. There is a boy.” Louis shook his head. “His name is Harry, he causes me –distress.” Louis squeezed his eyes tighter. “I want him to disappear –from my brain, from my life…Father, he refuses. I am asking you to please help me. What is his purpose for me? I don’t want to see him anymore. He is not good for me, Father.” Louis took a deep breath. “In the means of your son and our king, Amen.”


	3. The Crack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

-

Louis groaned climbing out of his bed. If he was honest he didn’t want to wake up right now. His body felt heavy along with his eyes. He shielded his eyes from the sunlight that streamed through his curtains. “Mm, why is there sun?” He scratched softly at his stinging eyes and stretched before sitting on his knees for his morning prayer.

            “Jehovah God, my heavenly father, thank you for allowing me to wake up today, thank you for everything you do for me every day.” Louis yawned as he spoke. ”Excuse me. You are my life and my greatest friend, please protect and watch over me as the days pass. In the means of your son, and our king, Amen.”

            Louis kissed his folded hands and stood slowly. He took a peek outside of his fairly large bedroom window. There weren’t many cars out right now. He scratched his hip and yawned; what time was it?

            Louis hauled his body into the kitchen to start on breakfast. He pulled a glass plate from his cupboard, dropping it once he looked at his clock. The pieces flew in different directions and Louis couldn’t even bat an eye at it. It was 12:55 –it wasn’t 12:55.

Since Louis was a child he never slept past ten! It was 12:55 in the afternoon! Louis couldn’t remove his eyes from the appalling time. Why would he wake up so late? He went to sleep no later than ten; it didn’t make sense. Louis shook his head, taking a step forward cutting his toe on a piece of the glass plate. “Ow, ow.” Louis hissed grabbing his foot with both hands plucking the little glass out. What was going on? He kneeled down carefully, picking up all the large pieces.

Soon after picking up all the pieces with a boom he decided on a yogurt cup. He retrieved his bible from his room and curled up on the couch, small band aid on his cut. He looked around before opening his yogurt. Something felt off. He didn’t feel comfortable, and that wasn’t right because he was in his own home.

Louis set down his yogurt, voting to eat it in a moment. He thought for a second; no one was in his house. He tried shaking off the feeling. Louis’ favorite scripture wasn’t in Genesis but Genesis was his favorite book. It was the beginning, it showed how much mercy and love God built the world with. He played with the pages a little, stopping on one of the scriptures he highlighted a long time ago.

“Genesis 2:18, The LORD God said; “it is not good for the man to be alone.” Louis brought the book closer to his face, “I will make a helper suitable for him.” Louis closed the bible quickly. What was going on? He snatched up his yogurt and ate it quickly. Louis paused for a moment putting the yogurt down and moving his bible from his lap.

Louis forgot.

 He hadn’t brushed his teeth, or showered, or brushed his hair. He bolted for the bathroom; he never forgot his routine? Louis jumped in the shower, washed and jumped back out. He got dressed quickly, almost fearfully, and back into his bathroom to brush up.

           Louis kept his eyes on his eyes as he brushed his teeth. His eyes were clear blue today.

_“I couldn’t get them out of my head…_ _”_

 

Louis stared intensely at his eyes as his toothbrush fell into the sink.

_“They are so blue…”_

            Louis held onto the sink with white knuckles and toothpaste dripping down his chin.

You could say Louis was ‘surprised’ by the knock at his door, he was. But Louis was a little more terrified than surprised. He rinsed his mouth, pulling on his glasses, forgetting to brush his bed hair. He looked at his door from top to bottom. Who was knocking? The rent was paid for the month and he didn’t order anything. A few more soft knocks and Louis was whimpering.

Louis tip toed to the door and peaked through the small peephole –no one? He sighed in relief until the knock came louder. Louis’ blood was running 100. “W –who,” Louis tried. “Who is it?”

“Louis? It’s Harry!”

Louis fell to the floor, covering his mouth to not vomit. Why was he here! Louis held onto the wall to get back to his feet. He shouldn’t answer. He couldn’t answer!

            “I know you’re in there!” Harry banged on the door again. Louis spun in a complete circle. He wanted Harry to vanish, he didn’t care how!

“I’m going to keep knocking until you answer!” Harry made small beats on the door and Louis could only imagine the face he was making. Louis chewed on his knuckles; he should open. What if the neighbors complain and even more people come to his door. Louis slowly unlocked each lock until he reached the last one. He opened the door with shaky hands.

            “Louis!”

            Louis peeked his head through the crack in the door. “Why –why are you here?”

            Harry smiled and came closer, his eye glanced Louis up and down through the small crack. “Hi, I wanted to see you.”

              Louis slammed the door shut, sliding to the floor again. “Oh goodness.” He squeaked.

            “Hello!” Harry knocked. “Louis, that wasn’t very nice.”

            Louis used the door knob to lift himself. “Calm down, Louis.” He opened the crack in the door again, really hoping that Harry was gone –he wasn’t.

              “Yeah, hi.” Harry crossed his arms. “You slammed the door on my face you know.”

“Leave me alone.”

              Harry stepped closer with a big smile, “I don’t want to.” Louis could feel a blush creep up from his neck to his cheeks. He slammed the door once again and held a tight grip on the knob. “Oh please, God, make this stop.”

“Louis!” Harry shouted. “Jesus, that hurt!”

Louis opened the door for the third time, peering through. Harry was wearing a huge frown. “Could you not slam the door again, please?” Harry shook his head. “Or slam it when I’m not right in front of it.”

“Then go away.”

                “Why do you hate me? I didn’t do anything–” He nibbled on his upper lip. “Eh, well I ‘technically’ did, but I didn’t mean to.” What was Harry talking about!

“I like to be alone.”

Harry smiled and stuck his face back into the door. “Why?”

Louis’ breath quickened, he slammed the door for the third time but failed. Harry pushed the door and stuck his foot in between. Louis’ eyes shot up to his and Harry winked, actually winked. “I knew you were gunna do it.”

Louis stared down at his floor; Harry’s foot was half way in his house. His eyes began to water, “leave!”

Harry huffed, “Louis, I’m sorry. You probably think I’m crazy or something –and I completely get why, but I just wanna be your friend.” Harry smiled, “nothing crazy about that, right?”

              “No!” Louis shouted trying to close the door.

Harry pushed against it, “come on! Why not!”

“Because,” Louis pressed his back against the door trying to push it closed, “I don’t need you!”

“Hey, friends are necessary!” Harry groaned pushing against the door with his back.

“I already have a friend!”

“One friend isn’t enough!”

Louis could hardly see with all the tears in his eyes, “Yes it is!”

“No!” Harry pushed the door with more force causing Louis to lose balance. He fell forward, sliding onto the cold floor; Harry fell inside on his back. “One friend,” Harry breathed, “is not enough.”

Louis stood up, quickly pointing at his door. “Out! Get out of my house!”

                Harry stood up with the doors help; he rubbed his back soothingly. “If you –shit, that hurt.” Louis cringed at the curse, not in his house. He stepped closer with shaky hands and pushed Harry out in small shoves. Harry held onto the door frame, not moving. “Hey, not nice.”

Louis’ eyes spewed hot tears, “out, now!”

Harry put one hand on Louis’ cheek silencing the crying boy. Louis’ cheek felt hot, Harry’s hand was burning him. “You’re shaking.” Harry pouted, “I’ll leave you alone if you do me a favor.”

Louis was breathing from his mouth and he couldn’t move. Harry’s hand was on his face, on his face –on his face!

“Louis?”

“Stop touching me!” It came out all at once. Louis muffled screamed squirming away, “don’t touch me.”

Harry removed his hand from his face. “Don’t run.”

“Get out.”

“On one condition.” Harry didn’t move. “Just one.”

“No.”

“Then I’m not leaving.” Harry crossed his arms in a childish manner.

 “What! You have to! This is my house!”

“I get to stop by every day and you have to open the door.”

Louis’ eye twitched and his breath hitched, “I cant.”

“Please!” Harry crossed his fingers together. “I don’t have to come in, we can talk in the little crack?” Harry pleaded.

Louis rubbed his cheek. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”

“I can’t accept that and by now you gotta understand that?”

Louis was crying again. He rubbed his eyes with his palm. “Okay.” He whimpered.

“Harry!”

 Louis and Harry both jumped at the loud shout. Harry stepped out of Louis’ house and looked down the hall, “What, I’m busy!” Louis took the opportunity to close the door. He locked both locks and slid onto the floor that was becoming very familiar.

“Louis!” Harry beat on the other side of the door. “Fuck! Damn you, Zayn!” Harry hit the door again, “okay! –I’ll be here tomorrow, Lou. Okay, I’m coming back tomorrow, promise!”

              Louis soaked in the silence that soon flooded his home. He laid his head on the wall before sobbing himself into a fit.

-

              “Zayn, what the fuck!”

“What, I just wanted to know what you wanted from the store?”

“I –I was –fuck!” Harry looked back a few times before shoving his friend out of the way.

Zayn closed the door. “Hey, I just wanted to know! Next time I’ll be an asshole and not ask!”

Harry felt like he was malfunctioning, “Holy shit.” He shook his head glaring at Zayn. “Why couldn’t you be an asshole now and not ask!”

              “Well fuck.” Zayn slapped his hands at his side. “I won’t then!”

“Zayn!” Harry face planted onto the couch. “You ruined everything.”

“By asking what you want from the fucking store?”

Harry sat up quickly, “no, you jackass! By screaming! I was so close… so fucking close!” Harry laid his face back into the couch.

“You know what man.” Zayn pulled his jacket on. “I don’t fucking get you. Why were you even down there?”

“Louis!” Harry screamed quickly. He got off the couch and paced around his messy living room.

“Louis?”

“Louis!”

“Louis?”

“Yes,” Harry clenched his teeth. “Louis.”

“Who is Louis?”

“The guy with the nice eyes.” Harry whined. “The beautiful blue eyes.”

Zayn looked at Harry for a moment, “I don’t understand you at all, Haz. I’m going to the store.”

“I told you guys about him!” Harry shoved him. “The one I met with Niall?”

“Ohh.” Zayn snapped his fingers. “That’s right. –He lives here?”

“I told you he did!” Harry tugged at his curls. “We were washing dishes!”

“You know I barely listen to you.”

Harry cut his, “Yeah, but I always have to listen to you.”

Zayn sucked his teeth “listen to me what? I don’t talk that damn much.”

“I have to listen to you fart, burp, talk about bullshit. –I listen to you fuck Liam, take a crap, your music!”

“Stop complaining. I’m leaving.” Zayn walked to the door, “wanna come?”

 “No,” Harry sighed kicking an empty box, “I gotta clean up these boxes. When’s Liam get in?”

Zayn looked at his watch, “Hm, around five or six.”

Harry nodded and grabbed an unopened box. “Get me some peanut M&M’s.”

Zayn flicked him off, “says the guy who says I make too much noise.”

“Never said that.” Harry smirked. “You did. –Peanut M&M’s?”

“Yeah, I fucking got it.”

              “Bless.”

Harry had been cutting open cardboard boxes for at least thirty minutes and Zayn still wasn’t back yet. He better be out buying pot or something because all Harry asked for was some fucking M&M’s.

 They had fully moved in a couple of days ago, Niall, Liam, Zayn and him. They were finally able to save up enough to get a decent place. A friend ended up telling them about this place and since their friend’s uncle owned the apartment building they had a bit of a deal with him. Win.

The twenty two year old moved out of his mom’s house with three others in a two bedroom, one bathroom apartment. Harry was born a healthy but a chubby baby, weighing in at almost nine pounds. One sister, by the same mother and father. His parents were extremely loving, giving Gemma and him whatever they could; they loved Harry with hugs and kisses galore. He went to a public school, where he grew up with his best friends; Zayn, Liam and Niall. Taking photographs was his job and he loved it so much.

Harry rolled his eyes at a stack of books. Liam swore he was going to put up a book shelf but no book shelf could fit the amount of books the guy owned. Harry pulled out the first one; ‘If you give a Mouse a Cookie.’ That was obviously Niall’s. He set it aside and laid onto the carpet. Harry was a little annoyed that they had carpet; that meant no pet for him.

The twenty-two year old rolled over the carpet for a few before going to his new room. “Jesus.” He sighed at the mess that mostly belonged to Niall, whom he refused to share his room with. He picked up scattered shirts along the floor.

Why was Louis so scared of him? It’s not like –well he did run after him but Louis ran first. Every time he saw the boy he was crying or shaking –both. Harry threw the shirts on his bed. Should he go back over? Maybe Louis calmed down, he could talk to him better. Harry drummed his fingers against his thighs.

“Home!”

Harry looked towards his bedroom door. “Room!” He sat on the edge of his bed with a shirt bunched in his hand.

“Haz,” Niall smiled. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” Harry threw his shirt at him. “How was your first day? You’re back pretty early.”

Niall played with the shirt, folding it eventually. “It was alright. I went in pretty early so I got to go home early.” He shrugged, “I like the place.”

Harry nodded, “that’s good, Ni.”

“And you,” He laid across the bed. “How was your day?”

“I saw Louis,” Harry put his back against the headboard. “So, pretty fucking terrible.”

“Why’s that terrible?” Niall raised an eyebrow at him. “You were on and on about him yesterday.”

Harry shrugged softly, tugging at his lip. “Today didn’t go so well.”

“Did he cry again?”

“Yeah,” Harry looked away in shame. “A lot. He’s really scared of me. I feel like a stalker.”

              “Hm,” Niall curled into a ball. “You should buy a pet book.”

              “What?”

              “A book on getting a new pet.”

              Harry laughed throwing a pillow at Niall. “Louis isn’t a pet.” He shook his head. “You’re such an idiot.”

“What!” Niall threw it back. “New pets are usually scared!”

“Louis is a human, asshole.” Niall turned over and kicked all of Harry’s clothes off his bed. “Niall!”

“Mm, tired.”

“Go sleep on your futon!”

“Then I have to pull it out,” Niall waved a hand dismissively, “Too lazy.”

Harry snorted, “yeah, nothing new.” He walked away from his own room and to the living room when Niall cuddled under his blankets. Harry looked around, smiling at the building mess. This was their home.

            Harry frowned at himself. He hadn’t called his mom in a while. He looked around for his phone, finally finding it by the boxes of books. He dialed his mom, putting it to his ear. “Come on, momma.” Harry walked in small circles.

              “Hello?”

              “Hi mom.”

              “Hi, love. How’s the moving going?”

“Well, we finished actually. Now it’s putting all this shit away.” Harry kicked one of the moving boxes. “Then it’ll be good.”

“You know if you need help, I’ll come right over.”

“Naw, mom. We’re four, we’ll be fine.”

“Alright, alright,” Anne giggled. “So, give me the 411. Who’s doing what with who and when?”

Harry laughed covering his eyes, “Oh God. Well, I met a guy a few days ago and he hates me.”

“What’d you do?”

“What did I do? What did I do?” Harry whispered chewing on his lip. “Nothing, besides tackle him to the ground. –But I wasn’t trying to!”

"Harry, you can't just attack people. I’m sure if you would have asked for his name.”

“I did!” Harry threw his hand up. “He ran first!”

“Well, what did you say?”

“‘Hey’, I just said, hey, and he was gone.” Harry snapped his fingers. “Like fucking gone.”

His mother laughed, “darling, you must have smelled or something.”

“Ha, ha.” Harry mocked grabbing the pizza from yesterday. “Very funny.”

“Why’d you tackle him anyway?”

“Oh God, mom.” Harry leaned against the counter, eyes shut. ”His fucking eyes are beautiful. I saw them and I was star struck.” Harry held his stomach. “Fuck, I get so nervous thinking about it.”

"What color were his eyes, purple?"

“You’re rude.” Harry shook his head. “They were blue –not like Niall’s blue. I can’t even describe it. They were blue enough to freeze me.”

“Corny.” His mom tisked. “Super corny.”

“You are honestly the worst person I’ve ever met.”

She laughed, “I mean, blue is blue, sweetie.”

“Not his blue.” Harry shook his head at his own thoughts. “Like a piece of cake or pie.”

“Oh my God,” Anne laughed louder. “What are you talking about?”

“I wanna take pictures of him.” Harry licked his lips. “He’s so small and pretty –shit, he’d never let me.”

“How about trying to ask him out first.”

“I fucking cant.” Harry rubbed his eye. “He won’t open his door enough. I had to push it open.”

“Harry, no you didn’t!”

“I’m serious!” Harry rubbed his shoulder. “Fucking hurt.”

"I know you’re serious! You can’t push in someone’s door.”

“Mom, it was completely necessary.”

“Bursting through a stranger’s door will never be necessary.”

Harry looked at the lights in his kitchen. “And Zayn ruined it.”

“Harry, are you listening?”

“Yeah,” he turned back to his box of pizza. “I’m listening, I’m listening.”

“Okay, if you really want to befriend this boy you need to mind his personal space. Don’t attack him and push his fucking door down!”

Harry sighed, “Okay.”

“I love you –stop being crazy. Tell my boys I send kisses and to call me!”

“Will do, mom.”


	4. Criss-Cross

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

       

     -

              “I need more money for the month.”

              “Okay, sweetheart, we’ll send some and a bit extra.”

              Louis cut half of his avocado in slices. “Okay, thank you.”

              Louis’ mother sighed softly. “Louis, do you plan on visiting anytime soon?”

              The small man chewed on his lip, “probably not.”

              “Oh well,” His mother didn’t sound very upset. “We will be going on a vacation this week so I was just wondering.

              “Alright.”

              “I’ll tell your father you say hello.”

              “Okay.”

              “Bye Louis.”

              “May God be with you.”

Louis tossed a pinch of salt over his sliced avocado setting his phone down. This is how most of the conversations with his mother went. Her and his father would be going on a vacation to a different country, never asking if he wanted to join. Louis didn’t mind because Louis didn’t want to go. When he was younger they would drag him along to places like New York, Australia, LA. It wasn’t much fun.

Louis placed the slices on top of his toasted bread smiling slightly at his lunch. The 23-year old took a seat on the side of his couch, putting his food on the side table. He picked up his Bible looking for where he left off. Louis smiled reading the scripture aloud.

“Romans 5:8, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” Louis sighed closing his eyes. The verse made him think of Harry. Harry was kind, in some strange way. He had knocked on the door every day this week but Louis refused to open it. He would crawl into his bed, hands over his ears, blocking out the sound.

 Louis bit his cheek; Harry would be knocking soon. He looked outside the large balcony window; yeah it was about time. Louis looked down at his bible with a huff. He never really got to read anymore because of Harry’s disturbances.

“Louis!” Louis’ head jerked slightly. “Lou! It’s me, Harry!” Louis winced at the nickname. Not even his mother had a nickname for him. 

“Lou, come on! I’m starting to think you’re dead!” Louis closed his eyes and put his bible on his lap. He picked up the toasted bread, bringing it to his mouth.

“Louis! I’m gunna call the fucking cops!” The bread fell out of Louis’ hands and to the ground with a splat. The police? He wouldn’t call the police.

“Louis, I’m not shitting you! I will call them!” Harry’s hands beat on the door. Louis was sure that the door would break sooner or later. He stood, slowly moving his bible off his lap. He stepped over the destroyed toast on the ground and pattered over to the front door. His fingers touched the door lightly as he stood on his tiptoes, peeking out of the peephole.

“Alright, I’m calling!”

Louis’ eyes widened as Harry pulled his phone from his pocket. He swallowed thickly with a sigh. Harry wouldn’t disappear; he just needed to get over it. He unlocked the first lock then the second. Louis closed his eyes as he opened the door somewhat. Harry immediately pressed his body to the crack in the door.

“Louis! Is that you?”

Louis pressed his lips together, “Y –yes.”

Harry beamed, “Louis!” Harry held his chest. “You’re alive, shit. I was so worried.”

              Louis’ knees buckled and he felt sick. Why was Harry worried about him? He didn’t know him.

“What?”

“What?” Harry tried coming closer. “Louis, I can’t hear you!”

Louis licked his lips. “What do you want?”

“Are you there?” Harry’s green eye peered through the crack, “I can see you a little. Could you speak up or like open the door a bit more?”

Louis blushed deep crimson, “what do you want?”

Harry chuckled, “well, to see if you were alive and you are!”

Louis felt tears scratching at his eyes. “Ok –Okay.”

“Louis, I know I said that we could talk like this but it’s not working. I can’t hear shit you’re saying.”

Louis put his fingers to his lips; he tried to control his breathing as he opened the door wider. He put his eyes to the opening seeing Harry’s wide smile up against the door. “Thank you. I can see you now. –kind of.”

Louis was shaking, “I’m fine; you can leave now.”

Harry frowned, “what, why? I thought we were friends?”

Louis closed his eyes, “we are not –” The religious boy stopped when he felt a finger against his forehead. His eyes grew in disgust, “what ar –are you doing?”

Harry smiled with soft eyes, “I don’t know, I just wanna touch you.”

Louis bounced from foot to foot trying not to scream. He slammed the door right against Harry’s hand making Harry scream. He covered his mouth as Harry pushed the door open. Louis backed away watching Harry jump up and down.

“Fuck, fuck!” Louis covered his ears tripping back in the process. He hurt Harry; he wasn’t trying to! Louis closed his eyes tightly mumbling a prayer to himself, “I’m sorry, my Lord. I did not mean to hurt him, please do not punish me!”

Harry held his hand tightly, watching Louis with concerned eyes. He kissed his bruising fingers softly, “Louis?”

Louis continued with his prayer, “it was an accident! A big accident, oh Lord!”

Harry bent down in front of the crying boy, “Louis?”

Louis shook his head, glasses askew on his face. Harry touched his face, with his good hand, freezing him. Louis’ eyes opened, hands uncapping his ears. “I –”

Harry shushed him softly, “calm down.” He showed his fingers to Louis with a small smile, “all five, no worries.”

Louis’ lips trembled, “okay.” He glanced at Harry’s hand a few times. “Please move your hand.”

Harry nodded slowly, removing his hand from Louis’ face. “Uh,” Harry looked at his hand, “do you have like ice or something?” Louis stared from his opened door to Harry’s figure in his home. He backed away quickly then stood with unsteady legs, “y –yes.” Louis moved his glasses, rubbing his tears away, but it didn’t stop them. “Co –could you…” Louis pointed at the front door.

Harry stood doing a double take. “Oh, uh yeah. Sure.” He walked over to the door closing it. Louis closed his eyes tightly; he wanted Harry to get out.

Harry nibbled his lip. “I really think I need that ice, if you don’t mind.”

Louis nodded quickly, holding his hands up. “Jus –just wait –wait here.” He practically ran away from Harry and into his small kitchen. Louis held onto the refrigerator door for balance as he cried. Harry was in his home, Harry was in his home! Louis cried with his hand over his mouth. Why did he have to slam his hand in the door? Why was this happening!

“Louis?” Louis looked up from the floor quickly at Harry who stood at the entrance of his kitchen. “Hey, uh, just came to check on you.”

Louis nodded, “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

Harry smiled, “uh cool. I could get the ice if you want?”

Louis shook his head quickly. He turned around searching vigorously through his cabinets. “I –I’m so so-sorry.” Harry tilted his head as Louis continued searching for something. Louis slapped his thigh, “I can’t find –I can’t find a bag! –Sorry, just hold on.” He went on slamming cabinets while Harry stared in amusement.

“Louis.”

He jumped almost falling, “Yes?”

Harry smiled with a huff, “my hand might heal before you find a bag.” He snickered, “it’s cool, dude.” Harry pressed the ice button making two pieces fall out. “See?” He put both pieces on his swollen hand, “I’m all good.”

Louis shook his head with wet cheeks, “no, you need,” His words were slipping. “You need a bag or –something.”

Harry poked Louis’ forehead, silencing him. “Do you have a napkin?” He smirked, “that’s all I need.” The frail boy backed away and ripped two napkins from the roll. He handed both to Harry, pulling his hand away quickly.

Harry watched him, smirk on his lips as he wrapped the pieces. “Thanks.” Louis looked away, eyes set on the marble counter top. Harry placed the napkin on his finger, “well this isn’t working.”

Louis looked up, “wh –what?”

Harry took a napkin off, leaving one. “There, much better.” He pointed the white cloth at Louis, not sure what to do with it, “uh, you could like, uh I don’t know.” Louis looked at the napkin for a few seconds before grabbing it and putting it down as if it burned.

The silence was –silent.

“Thanks,” Harry started. “I mean, we can finally talked.” He chuckled.

Louis felt nauseated. “You should go.”

Harry scratched his collarbone catching Louis’ attention. “You’re probably right.” Louis’ eyes stayed on the cross around his neck. “I don’t mean to bother, just thought we could talk or something.” Harry shook his curls, “you know, I wanna just –uh, Louis?”

Louis looked up, “yes?”

Harry looked down at his neck slowly then back up, “you like my chain?”

Louis swallowed a thick lump, “I –I don’t,” he sighed, “don’t know.”

Harry nodded slowly, “you don’t know?” Louis shook his head no. “Why?”

Louis blushed putting a hand to his chest, “it it’s pretty…”

“Yeah?” He looked at the cross around his neck, “my mom gave it to me when I was like fifteen.” He grinned at the thought, “she thought it would protect me or some shit.”

“Don’t.” Louis held his hand close to his chest. “Please don’t curse.”

Harry was a bit taken back, “oh, I’m so sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I didn’t know it bothered you, sorry. Well anyway, she thought it would protect me.” Harry shrugged, “I just wear it for her though.”

Louis nodded. So, Harry didn’t love God, he just wore that necklace for his mother.

“What about you?”

Louis’ legs wobbled, “what about me?”

Harry shrugged leaning on the counter, “something about you? Or your mom, if you have one?” Louis stared at Harry; he was touching Louis’ stuff.

“I do –I have a mom.”

Harry smiled big, “wow, I didn’t think you’d actually answer! This is fuck –I mean shit! I mean –ugh, I’m sorry.” Louis flinched as Harry went on. “This is great.” Harry nodded, “really freaking great. Can I say that? Freaking?”

Louis looked Harry up and down and shrugged softly, “I guess.”

“Cool, cool.” Harry looked a little nervous. “You were saying, about your mom, you have one?”

Louis nodded rubbing his itchy eyes, “yes.”

Harry stayed smiling, waiting for Louis to continue, he didn’t. “Uh, can we like sit down and talk? Maybe?” Louis shook his head no. “Oh, got it. I guess we’ll stand –ow!” Harry looked at his hand, “damn, the door really got me.”

Louis looked down and twisted his toes, “I’m sorry."

“No!” Louis jumped, “No! Please, don’t apologize, babe!” Louis closed his eyes at the name. Harry laughed, “Sorry. You’re so damn cute.”

Louis looked away, “stop.”

Harry let his smile fall, “sorry.”

“Leave,” Louis covered his face, “le –leave now.”

Harry stepped closer, “Louis, I’m sorry.”

“Just leave!” Louis uncovered his face. Cheeks red, eyes bluer than ever, lips bright pink. “I need to be –be alone.”

Harry nodded, “I understand.” He sighed, “I know you really hate me.” Louis was going to speak but closed his mouth. “And I know I’m annoying but you are, you are just something different and I like different. I really fuc –freaking love different, okay? –I’m down the hall. I work, but I’m there most of my day and I want you to come whenever you need something.”

Louis shook his head, “I don’t.”

“No, you do. You need friends and you need people to talk to.” Louis recoiled, new tears spilling. “Lou, no. I’m sorry.” Harry pulled Louis into a quick embrace, scaring the crying boy.

Louis shoved him away, “don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me!”

Harry’s lips made a thin line, “okay, alright. My bad, I’m just an open person.” He thought for a moment. He put the melting ice down and pulled his chain over his head. “Here,” he held the necklace by the chain out for Louis, “you said it was pretty, right?”

Louis flushed, using the sleeves of his shirt to wipe away his boogers, “no. I can’t.” Louis sniffled, “Your mom-”

Harry smiled softly, “I don’t need a piece of material to feel my mother’s love. Come on,” Harry swung the necklace in Louis’ face, “take it. No worries, I mean you look at it more than me.” He smiled as Louis lifted his hand, “take care of it.”

Louis shivered as the cold cross touched his small hand. Harry let the chain fall into Louis’ palm; “I should really get more ice for my hand.” Louis blinked a couple of tears away. He looked down at the chain locked in his closed hand. “I will be here tomorrow, hopefully we can talk more, yeah?”

Louis looked up with big eyes, “why?”

Harry scratched his arm exposing a tattoo, “I like you I guess.” Louis’ stomach growled, silencing the kitchen.

Harry laughed, “Did I disturb your lunch? Sorry, go ahead. I’ll let myself out.” Louis nodded with parted lips, “okay.” Harry gently grabbed Louis’ hand who felt confused. He held Louis’ closed fist in his hand and bent down, eyes never leaving Louis’ big ones, and kissed his closed fist. Louis pulled his hand away quickly, “why?”

“Relax,” Harry backed away slowly, “no worries, just a kindness kiss. –See you tomorrow, Lou. Bless.”

Louis stayed still in the middle of the kitchen. He wanted to move but he couldn’t. He wanted to cry but he couldn’t. He wanted to scream but he couldn’t. Louis looked down at his closed hand. He twisted his head at an angle, opening his fist.

The cross was still there, still cold. He picked it up by the chain, watching the it swing in his face.

_‘_ _Take care of it…’_

-

“Liam!” Harry was jumping around. “Li!”

“Room!” Harry jogged into his room seeing Liam not inside. He smiled running into the other bedroom. “Li!”

Liam turned around, putting his clothes in the closet, “hey, Haz.”

Harry hugged his friend from behind. “Li, I fucking did it!”

Liam walked over to his bed sitting on it cross-legged, “what did you do?”

Harry jumped on the large bed with a thud, “Ow! Shit! My damn hand.”

Liam looked at Harry’s purple fingers, “holy shit, Harry.” He stood up, running to the kitchen, Harry following. “Harry! What the hell happened to your fingers?”

Harry shrugged, “slammed it in a door.”

Liam threw some ice cubes in a small zip-lock bag. “Put this on it.” He shook his head, “I swear. You just went down there to talk. What’d he do? Kick your ass when he opened the door? Or maybe you kicked the door down!”

Harry laughed with a hiss, “No, he slammed the door on my fingers –but that’s not important!”

“Really?” Liam made a pinch motion with his fingers. “Not even a little important?”

“Yes really.” Harry adjusted the bag on his hand. “I fucking talked to Louis! He’s so cute, Li.”

Liam clapped his hands together once, “really? That’s lovely, Haz. Was that before or after he slammed your fingers into a door?”

“After.” Liam threw his hands up. “Li, listen!”

Liam sighed motioning Harry to follow him. They walked back to the bedroom, “okay so tell me.”

Harry smiled sitting on the bed, “he’s so cute but so,” Harry pulled on his curls with his good hand, “so difficult.”

Liam smirked, picking up clothing, “in what way?”

Harry huffed, “he doesn’t like being touched.”

Liam scoffed, “well would you like being touched by a stranger who keeps coming after you?”

Harry dry laughed, “No. I’m not going after him. I just –he’s different and I told him that! He’s weird and he cries all the time but it makes me happy.”

Liam stopped folding the clothes in his hand, “really? That’s pretty sadistic.”

Harry wiggled his eye brows, “maybe.” He laughed. “Liam, come on. Not like that.”

“Anyone home!”

“Room!” Liam and Harry called in unison. Zayn walked into his bedroom with a yawn, “hey, Haz.” He grabbed Liam kissing him softly, “hey, baby. How are you?”

“Fine thanks, how was work?”

“Complete shit. I think I’m gunna quit.”

Harry adjusted the ice on his hand, “why?”

Zayn shrugged taking his boots off, “they work me to the bone. They expect me to come in at three in the morning every day. I can’t do that, I don’t get paid enough.” Zayn removed his shirt; “I’m gunna see if that place down the street is hiring.”

Liam put some shirts in Zayn’s dresser, “the delivery place?”

Zayn rolled his shoulders, “yeah, seems better.” He stretched. “Don’t forget we gotta go to storage today.”

-

“I’d love to photograph him.” Harry sat on top of boxes.

Liam smiled, “I wanna meet him.”

Harry shook his finger, “no. No fucking way, you’re gunna scare him away.”

Liam touched his heart, hurt. “You are so mean. I would not.”

“No, I can’t risk it.”

“Hey! I might just make him feel comfortable!”

“He’s not good around people, Li!”

Liam rolled his eyes while picking up two bags, “whatever.”

Harry pouted, “I love you, but I need him to first get used to me.”

Liam shooed him away, “fine, but if I bump into him I get to talk to him.”

“Deal.” Harry sighed, “You won’t though. He never goes out.”

-

Louis closed the bible in his lap with a small smile. He stood off the couch and placed his holy book inside of his bag. Today was a worldly day and Louis was dreading it. What if Harry was outside? He was becoming short on food and he needed to pick up his mail.

Louis sighed, touching the cold object around his neck, Harry’s cross. He didn’t know whether to put it on or not so he decided that no harm could come from a cross. He slept with it, showered with it, ate with it; it didn’t really matter. It kind of became a part of his attire.

He pulled his bag over his body and took a deep breath before opening the door. The nervous boy took a peek outside seeing no one in the hall. Louis sighed at his paranoia and locked his door. He walked down the hall with small steps, holding his bag close. Louis’ eyes shot up as one of the doors opened. He took a deep breath and scurried to the stairs. He heard steps behind him, ignoring them, he continued down the stone stairs.

“Excuse me?”

Louis pressed his lips together and turned around when he was finally outside the building. “May I help you?”

The brown haired man smiled at him, “you’re him aren’t you?”

Louis shook his head, “I’m sor –sorry?”

The man chuckled softly, “you are. Hi,” he stuck his hand out, “I’m Liam.” Louis blinked twice; he surely didn’t know this man.

Louis’ hand stayed wrapped around his bag strap, “I am Louis.”

Liam smiled, “I know that.” Louis’ brows furrowed, “I’m Liam. I live with Harry?”

Louis’ whole body tensed up at the name. His fingers fumbled with his bag, “I really –I really have to go.” Louis turned around.

“Wait, I’m going to the store. Would you like me to take you where you have to go, maybe?”

Louis turned around with teary eyes, “no, I ca –can walk to the store.”

Liam beamed, “oh! You’re going to the store too? I would love to take you. It’s really hot.” He pointed to the parking lot, “I have a car.” Louis looked up at the shinning sun.

                  He wasn’t quite sure when, or why he said ‘okay’, but he did.

                  “Awesome! It’s this way.” Louis watched Liam carefully. He was nothing like Harry. He was soft spoken and he was slower, not as fast paced.

                  Louis followed him to the black Civic. Liam unlocked the door smiling at Louis, “it’s pretty hot inside so we should let it air out.” Louis nodded slowly, opening the car door. Liam bit his lip and grinned at the tiny boy, “I like your necklace.” Louis blushed looking down at the cross.

                  “Looks like Harry’s.”

                  Louis shuddered, “I –it is Harry’s.”

                  Liam smirked, “yeah, I know.”


	5. Peanut M&M's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

 

“Well, Jesus, you fucking asshole!” Liam honked loudly at the car that cut him off. He looked over at Louis, “honestly, aren’t people such dicks?” Louis stared at Liam in slight fear; he scared him. Liam would be sweet one moment and the next would be angry and curse more than Harry.

“Yeah, so how old are you?”

Louis looked at his lap, “I’m twenty-three…”

 Liam smiled, “really? You look much younger. I’m twenty-three.” He stopped at a red light, “my birthday is this month actually. It’s on the twenty ninth.” Louis nodded uneasily. Liam smiled kindly bumping his head to the soft music.

“You’re really tiny. How tall are you?”

Louis blushed softly, “I’m 5’5, I think.”

 Liam patted Louis’ leg earning a jerk. “You poor tiny thing.”

-

“Do you need a buggy?”

Louis gave a confused pout, “I’m sorry?”

 Liam laughed, grabbing a shopping cart, “sorry, a shopping cart. Do you need one?”

Louis shook his head no. “I will carry my stuff.”

Liam smiled with a nod, “sounds good. I need one, the people that live with me eat like animals.” He shook his head in disgust, “honestly, I think we waste more money on groceries than anything else.”

Louis followed Liam quietly as the cold air in the grocery store hit them roughly. He held onto his bag tightly walking next to the shopping cart. Louis felt like a child in the grocery store with their parent.

“Do you want to go through each aisle?” Liam shrugged, “I mean, that’s what I do.”

Louis’ legs quivered lightly. Was he really at a store, shopping, with a person –a stranger? Did he really say yes to Liam’s request? Was all of this really happening?

“Hello?”

Louis shook out of his thoughts, “yes!” His voice went down to a mutter, “that’s fine.”

          Liam smiled tapping his shoulder, “let’s go then.”

“Hmm, I need cheese,” Liam looked at Louis with big eyes, “Niall is like a damn rat.” He grabbed two packets of Kraft cheese singles and placed them nicely in the cart. Louis blinked twice and took a small breath of air. He needed some cheese too. He looked at the arrangement of dairy products and grabbed one packet of Provolone.

“Is that one good?”

Louis jumped almost forgetting he was with Liam, “pardon?”

“That one?” Liam smiled pointing at the packet of white cheese, “is it good?”

Louis looked at the food in his hand and back at Liam, “yes.”

The brown haired boy nodded with his lip out, “alright, I’ll try it.” He grabbed one off the shelf and placed it on top of his other packets.

“Hm, I also need milk –oh Louis. Please, if you have to get other stuff from this aisle go right ahead.” He smiled, “no worries. Groceries always takes long for me.”

          Louis nodded, “thank you.” He walked quickly ahead, head faced to the ground. This wasn’t that bad, it could be worse. Liam could be loud and make him feel uncomfortable. He seemed nice, but he was a stranger. A stranger he took a ride from…

Louis looked at the shelf across; he needed wheat bread.

“Oh! I need bread too.” Liam grabbed two loafs of regular bread as Louis grabbed wheat.

 Liam paused, “is that good?”

Louis held his bread with soft hands, “it is.”

 Liam smiled, “well it’s probably healthier, right?” He rubbed his chin, “should I get it?”

 Louis looked from Liam to his bread, “I don’t know.”

Liam squinted at the bread on the shelf, “alright, I’ll get it. Niall won’t be happy, but that’s fine.” He placed the bread in carefully, “I really hope it’s good.”

-

 

               It was awful. Everything Louis would get, Liam would ask if it was good and it was. Louis had no reason to lie, but Liam would always say, ‘hope it’s good.’ Louis wasn’t sure if he’d like it or not. What if he hated it! Then if he hated it, what if he hates Louis? And if he hates Louis, what if he beats him up? He couldn’t deal with the pressure!

                “Louis, stay here. I’m going to get you a buggy.”

                Louis shook his head quickly, “no –no, I can hold it. Thank you.”

                 Liam pouted, “You have so much in your hands. –Here, put it in my cart.” Liam pushed all of his stuff to one side, “go ahead.”

                Louis looked at the little empty spot for his stuff. He looked back at Liam with a shake of the head, “please, it’s fine.”

                The man sighed, “Please. It makes me uncomfortable when you hold everything –oh, my phone.” Louis’ eyes went from Liam picking up his phone and back to the cart. He sighed and slowly put his stuff inside.

                “I’m at the store –what do you want?” Liam laughed, “Which one, Haz? –Peanut or non-peanut?” Liam rolled his eyes at Louis who was confused. He moved the phone away from his mouth and whispered, “It’s Harry.”

                Louis’ hands shot over his mouth, Harry was on the phone? Louis’ hands became sweaty and his breathing sprinted. Why was he on the phone? It wasn’t of Louis’ concern because Liam did live with him. But -

                “I’m actually with Louis. –Louis, yes your Louis.” Liam giggled winking at Louis who held onto the cart for stability. “I’ll explain later –I gave him a ride to the store.” Liam smirked, shoving the phone Louis’ way, “he wants to say hi. Is that okay?”

                Louis’ eyes were locked onto the phone. Why did Harry want to talk to him? What would he say? He could barely talk to Harry in person, what would he say on a phone! Louis continued staring at the screen showing a picture of Harry with his tongue out. He looked up at Liam and shook his head.

                “He doesn’t wanna talk to you.” Well that was a little harsh. Louis shut his eyes. “He said he’s gunna come down here if you don’t grab the phone.” Louis’ lips wobbled and he knew he was going to cry. Liam frowned, “Haz! You’re making him cry.” Louis bit his lip as tears trickled down his face.

                “Hey, don’t cry.” Louis’ head shot up at Harry’s voice. Liam held the phone out on speaker. Louis put his shaking hands over his mouth. “Hey, I know you can hear me. I just wanted to say hi –I’m a bit jealous that you’re with Liam.” Louis nodded, muffling his cry. “I can hear you. No more crying, okay?” Louis wasn’t used to this, he looked down at the aisle seeing someone walking down. This was too much attention!

                “Alright, I’ll see you later today, okay?” Louis stayed silent, eyes fixed on the woman behind Liam. “Can I at least get a hello? Please, something.”

                Louis fixed his glasses, “h-h-he-hello.”

                Harry chuckled deeply, Louis was sure he’d just woken up. “Thank you, Louis.”

 Louis’ whole body grew goose bumps and his blush went from his neck to his cheeks.

                “Okay, Harry…”

                “Hello, yeah you made him cry. Good job, bucko.” Liam shook his head. “Yeah, yeah okay. Yes, I won’t forget. I love you more, bless.” Liam hung up, “Sorry about that.”

                “It’s fine.” Louis’ spoke quickly, “it’s fine.”

                Liam gave Louis a pitiful look but he dropped it, something Louis was thankful for. “Okay, let’s finish.”

-

                Liam tapped away on his phone as Louis’ sat quietly next to him. Liam finally looked up with a half-smile, “uh, I just texted Harry to come down and help with the stuff.” Louis tensed up. “But,” Liam said quickly, “you should hurry up stairs before you see each other.” Louis nodded gratefully, getting out of the car.

                Liam helped him grab all the groceries and Louis wasn’t sure what to say.

                “Um, if you ever need a ride anywhere.” Liam smiled, “I’m in apartment 315.”

                Louis nodded stiffly, “thank you very much.”

                Liam bit his lip to hold back a grin, “oh, it was fun. We should do it again, no trouble. Harry’s friends are my friends.”

-

                Louis trudged up the stairs. It had never taken him that long to go to the store in his life. Everything was fine now, he just had to avoid Liam and Harry and he’d be fine.

                He sung softly in the empty stairwell, “God is good, God is grand. He gives us life and h –” Louis stopped when he bumped into someone. His whole body went ridged. “I –I’m so sorry.”

                “Louis?” The boy let his head fall, Harry. It was always Harry. Louis looked up with his glasses hanging off his face. Harry smiled wide, “hi, Louis!” Louis trembled at Harry’s voice. “Do you need help with your stuff?” Louis shook his head knocking his glasses off his face. He looked down at the steps, what was going on? First Harry then Liam then Harry again and now his glasses.

                “Hey, relax.” Harry bent down and grabbed the pair, “no worries.” He wiped the lens with his shirt horrifying Louis because the material wasn’t right. “Look, all good.” He placed at the glasses neatly on Louis’ face. Harry smiled, “good?”

                Louis’ lips parted and Harry watched in awe; Louis was crying again. The tip of his nose was a tint of pink, the same as his cheeks. The poor boy’s lips were turning a soft purple. Harry wanted to feel bad but Louis looked pretty fucking beautiful so he had a hard time.

                “I didn’t hurt you.”

                “I know.” Louis said quickly. “You didn’t. –I don’t like it.”

                “You don’t like when I touch you?”

                Louis shook his head, “I don’t.”

                “I won’t, okay?” Harry whistled softly before smiling. “Did you see my hand?” He waved the slightly purple fingers in Louis’ face. Louis had almost forgot. “It’s all better, just some bruising.” Harry chuckled, “I heal pretty quickly, I guess. It was such a bitch to –oh, wait.” The photographer laughed. “No cursing, no cursing. –It hurt a lot to take pictures.”

                Louis nodded, not really understanding but hoping Harry would let him leave.

                “Can I come by today?”

                Louis shrugged, “you always do…”

                Harry grinned, “Yeah, you’re right. Okay, then I guess I won’t come by today.”

                Louis finally really looked at Harry. “What?”

                “Today. I mean this is enough. I’m seeing you and talking to you now. That’s good enough, right?”

                Louis sniffled a bit but nodded, “yes.”

                Harry rubbed his shoulder, “I better go help Liam before I get screamed at.” Louis nodded again as Harry walked around him. He walked up the stairs one at a time, counting his heart beats.

                “Lou!”

                Louis spun around, stomach in knots. Harry was smiling wide at him, “I like your necklace, looks good on you.”

-

                “My Father, thank you for bringing me home safely.” Louis prayed on his knees, “I need assistance.” He sighed, “Harry… He is tormenting me. Is he the anti-Christ you spoke of? Please, I need guidance.” Louis nuzzled his face into his bed. “Bless Liam, he is a kind person. In the means of your son and our king, Jesus Christ. Amen.” Louis kissed his folded hands and stood.

                He walked over to the kitchen holding the cross around his neck; hilariously enough, it made him comfortable, made him feel less afraid.

                Louis bent down pulling his groceries out of the plastic bags.

                “Lemon, check.” He set it on the counter. “Cheese, check. Natural orange juice, check.” Louis smiled, he was able to get a lot of stuff thanks to Liam. He normally can’t carry everything home. “Apples, check. Avocado, check. Peanut M&M’s?” Louis looked at the yellow packet in confusion; he never bought this? He looked through the rest of the groceries, where was his bread? Louis sat on the floor in shock, hands pressed to his temples. His bread! His bread was with Liam! Liam lived with Harry!

                Louis paced around the kitchen, staring at the packet of peanut candies. Should he go down there and give it to them? He chewed his nails. Why did he have to go with Liam? Louis ran to the bathroom throwing up his breakfast. This wasn’t good, he felt ill, he felt scared. He allowed the rest to come up before brushing his teeth.

                As he brushed he watched the cross around his neck swing back and forth, reminding him of the demon that is Harry.

                Louis voted on leaving a note. He wouldn’t have to come in contact with anyone or humiliate himself. He would leave the sticky note and the M&M’s at the door, they could leave his bread at his door. Problem solved.

                The twenty-three year old closed his door softly, note and M&M’s in hand. All he had to do was leave the bag at the door and leave the note on the door. It was easy but why was he so nervous? Louis toed over, looking at the numbers on the doors as they got higher.

315.

                Louis heard loud noises coming from inside. This was definitely the place. He took a deep breath and bent down slowly, leaving the packet on the door step. He read over his note quickly.

‘Your candy, I need my bread. –Louis’.

                Sounded straight and to the point. He softly placed the sticky note on the door. It didn’t stick, instead fell right to his feet. He pouted and pressed the note a little harder opening the door with a loud thud.

                Louis didn’t move, he couldn’t move because Liam was already staring at him –beaming at him.

“Louis,” Liam cooed, “are you trying to break in?”

                “What was that sound?” Harry poked his head from behind the wall.

“Louis!” He slid over –shirtless. “What are you doing here?”

                Louis snatched up the candy and shoved it into Harry’s hands. “I’m sorry!”

                “Oh shit.” Harry shook the small bag, “my M&M’s, awesome. Thank you.” He opened the bag eating three at once.

                Liam shook his head and smiled at Louis, “we have your bread, come in.”

                Louis shook his head quickly, “no –I can’t.”

                Harry pouted, “Here.” Louis nervously opened his palm for Harry. He set a red M&M in his hand with a smile, “eat it, it’s yummy” Harry looked back. “It’s a little messy but you can come in.”

                 Louis bit his lip, “I left the stove on, I can’t!” It was said so fast Louis had to back track his own words.

                Liam nodded, “Okay, Louis. Oop –wait.” He disappeared to what Louis assumed to be the kitchen and came back, bread in hand. “Here you go.”

                Harry looked at the brand of bread while happily chomping on his candy, “wheat? Ew.”

                 Louis swallowed hard, “I’m sorry.”

                 Liam slapped his friend, “don’t apologize. You can eat whatever you please. –Harry’s just an unhealthy idiot.”

                Harry scoffed, “yes you can, Lou.” He slapped Liam back, “but you should try white bread.” He winked, “it’s better for grilled cheese-ies.”

                Louis nodded, “okay. I ne –need to go.”

                Liam waved, “okay, Louis. It was good seeing you again.”

                “Okay…” Louis turned around, wobbling down the hall.

                “Louis!”

                He stopped, took a deep breath, and then turned around. “Yes?”

                “Do you want this?” Harry held up the blue sticky note.

                Louis ran back snatching the note away and crumpling it. “Goodness.”

                Harry smirked, “It’s okay, Lou –S’ cute.” Louis’ face fell. “You should go home.” He leaned on the wall, pointing his bag of candy down the hall. “Before it burns down.”

                “What?”

                          “You’re cooking, right?” Louis nodded slowly. He said he was cooking. He’s not cooking. He lied. He doesn’t lie! Why would he lie? Louis turned around walking back in shame –in humiliation. God would surely punish him. He lied and lying is sinning and Louis doesn’t sin. Sinning is wrong.

 

                    When he got back inside he walked into his kitchen. He set the bread–not so nicely –on the counter and looked at the melting M&M in his hand. What should he do with it? Louis thought; maybe throw it away? Throwing away food is wrong but he didn’t eat candy either.

He looked at the small M on the red oval. No harm could come from eating a piece. He brought it to his lips and popped it into his mouth quickly. Louis slowly chewed on it with a twisted face. It was… good. He swallowed it down and paused, the candy was good. He almost wanted another one –almost. Louis stared at the red spot on his hand for a while, the candy was really good.

-

                        “Is he not the fucking cutest, Liam?” Harry sat on the counter top eating his M&M’s. “Li, he left a fucking note.” Harry looked up. “So adorable.”

                          Liam laughed, “He’s adorable but he’s really scared around you.”

                          Harry shrugged, “I can deal with that.”

                          Liam served himself some soda, “yeah,” He pondered. “But there has to be more to him.”

              Harry held up a strange looking M&M to Liam’s face, “Duh, that’s why once he’s not afraid of me I’ll figure out what it is.”

                   Liam drank some of his soda, “yes, but you need to be softer with him. I bet I know more about him than you and I literally just met him.”

                          “Bullshit, quiz me.”

                          Liam set his cup down, “how tall is he?”

                          Harry bit his lip, grin on his face. “I don’t know, what type of question is that? He’s like 5’2.”

                           Liam slapped Harry’s thigh, “he’s 5’5!”

                          Harry ate his special M&M, “why do you even know that?”

                          “Cause I asked him.”

                          “And he answered?”

                          “Yes! Because I’m kind with him!”

                          Harry pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, “how old is he?”

                          “Twenty-three?”

                          “No bullshit?”

                          “No bullshit.”

                          “Where’s he from?”

                          “I don’t know.”

                          Harry jumped off the counter, “Oh, Mr. I know everything about Louis.”

                          Liam laughed walking away to his room, “shut up, dude. I need to get ready for work.”

                          “Wait!” Harry ran to his room then Liam’s, shaking a magazine in his face. “Did I tell you?”

                          “What?” Liam finally grabbed the magazine that flapped around his face. Harry helped him find the page. He pointed at it. “Look, look!”

                          “Aw, Harry.” Liam ran his fingers over the familiar park. “This is amazing, Harry.”

                          Harry nodded enthusiastically, “I got twelve hundred for that.”

                          “What?” Liam slapped him excitedly. “That’s fucking incredible!”

                          “You’re birthday is coming up.” He poked around his friend. “We’re gunna make it huge! –drinks, drugs, dancing! All the ‘Ds’ you can think of.”

                          Liam closed the magazine and wrapped two arms around Harry’s torso. “Dicks.” He chuckled. “Thank you, Haz.”

                          Harry lifted his face, kissing his forehead. “You deserve it, Li.”

                          Liam pinched Harry’s nose. “You should invite Louis. “

                          Harry shook his head, “he’s not gunna come.”

                          Liam shrugged flipping through the pictures, “I don’t know, you have until the end of the month. Let’s see that happens?”

                           Harry smirked, “is that a bet?”

                          Liam smiled deviously, “maybe.”

                          “What then?”

                          “If Louis doesn’t come, I’ll get you that camera you want.”

                           Harry thought for a moment, “swear?”

                          “Swear.”

                          “And if you win?”

                          Liam shrugged, “I don’t know. Hm,” he rubbed his chin, “you don’t complain about me and Zayn fucking.”

 


	6. Henry Wallace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

 

                    Harry woke up, very uncomfortably, with Niall around his hip.

            He groaned, stretching his arms above his head. He took a look over at his friend with a tiny smile; Niall was so annoying, but he was family. He had met Niall back in high school, Harry was the second one to meet him, thanks to Zayn. Harry hated Niall’s guts and they constantly fought until Liam came along to break them up.

            Liam was quiet, a quiet loser, but he brought the group together. Liam helped Harry a time or too with studying, and sometimes did his homework. After Zayn met Liam the pair became enamored with one another. By their senior year they were dating, and even made it as cutest couple in their yearbook –which Harry took pictures for.

            Zayn was Harry’s closet friend back in high school. Harry and him got in more trouble than he could remember. Zayn and him were so close, and even though Zayn was a jerk, Harry and him still had the same relationship.

Harry laid on his back, closing his eyes. “Thanks for letting me live again today. Hopefully the family is okay, and I hope today is as good as the next.” He sighed, “Thanks man.” Harry said his thanks to God every morning, just like his mother taught him. Maybe it wasn’t the most formal prayer, but Harry wasn’t the most formal person.

Harry sat up, forcing Niall to roll over. It was nine in the morning and Harry couldn’t even understand why his body was so awake. He scurried off the bed when the pressure against his bladder began to hurt.

“Hello?” Harry knocked on the locked bathroom door. “Liam?”

“Giving a blowjob!”

Harry scrunched his nose in disgust. This early? Why this early? “Hey! That’s nasty!” Harry glared at the bathroom door, while tapping one foot against the carpet. “It is nine in the morning!”

“You said you wouldn’t complain! So shut the fuck up and go back to sleep!”

Harry’s jaw dropped. He slapped two hands against the bathroom door, “Fuck you, Zayn! I have to piss!” He pouted, holding his stomach. “I don’t want to see it!” Harry could go in, he just had to keep his eyes shut. “You have a room!”

“I’m trying to get my dick sucked, man! Get the hell out of here!”

 Harry held his nuts, hopping up and down, “I’ll pee on the floor!” Harry whimpered, trotting away from the bathroom door. This was just fucking great. His family was selfish!

Louis

Louis had a bathroom.

-

“Louis?” Harry knocked on the door softly. He kept his voice to a whisper not to disturb others. “Lou! It’s me –Harry!” He waited for a moment when the door stayed closed. Of course Louis wouldn’t answer, it was nine in the damn morning-

Harry froze when he heard the locks being undone. He smiled wide at Louis who stood fully dressed with a book in his hand. He was so beautiful; he always had his hair brushed. His eyes always looked so big, and so blue behind his glasses –oh those glasses.

Harry loved them

Louis was still wearing his cross and it made Harry smile, it looked so gorgeous on him.

“W –why are you here so early?”

Harry grinned uneasily, “uh, well I was wondering if I could use your bathroom?”

Louis visibly twitched, “what?”

“Your bathroom? Could I use it?”

Louis shook his head in confusion, “no- I- don’t you have one?”

Harry smirked, “yeah, but Zayn’s getting a blowjob.”

Louis nodded slowly, clearly confused.

Harry smiled, “you know?” He pretended to put a dick in his mouth, “he’s getting some brain.”

Louis bit his inner cheek, “brushing his teeth?”

Harry laughed aloud, “what!” He shook his head “no, dude. He’s getting head, from Liam!”

Louis held his book close, “I –I don’t understand.”

Harry squinted at him, “you don’t know what a blow job is?”

Louis shook his head.

Why didn’t Louis know what that was? Possibly has never received one, but to not know what one is –that’s a bit odd. Louis was twenty-three and didn’t know what a blowjob was? What a time to be alive.

Harry was about to explain before his bladder punched him in the spleen. “Oh God! Could I just use your bathroom, please? I’ll close my eyes, I don’t know!”

Louis looked like he was having a crisis of his own. Harry bounced on his heels, “okay, okay.” He pleaded, “I won’t come by later –just please!” Louis sighed opening the door wider.

Harry bolted inside, looking around quickly. “Bathroom!?”

Louis walked slowly, dreadfully slow, almost like he was afraid or he wanted Harry to pee himself. He pointed to a small door next to another one. Harry nodded, quickly bursting into the white bathroom.

He moaned in relief as his pee flowed out of him. Harry took the opportunity to look around; the bathroom was very clean, almost like if it was never used. There was only one weird –problem?

The walls

          Harry couldn’t stop looking at the walls. There were crosses everywhere, crosses of every size. Harry suddenly felt uncomfortable, who would have so many crosses in their home? He quickly put his dick back in his boxers, eyes never leaving the diverse symbols, and washed his hands. He flushed the toilet and backed out of the bathroom bumping into Louis.

The small boy moved away quickly. Harry turned around with large eyes, “you have a shit -I mean,” Harry shook his head. “You have a lot of crosses in there.” He looked back in the bathroom then back at Louis, “like damn.”

Louis turned red, pulling on his fingers –it was cute. Harry could already see the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Harry shook his hands, stepping closer. “No, no.” He huffed, “Lou, it’s cool. I’m just saying, it’s a lot.”

Louis looked stilled for words. I –I –I love God.”

Harry’s lips formed a smile, “That’s nice.”

Louis’ eyes grew, “What?”

“I mean, it’s nice. I’m pretty cool with him myself.” Harry pointed at the bathroom. “Don’t know what that has to do with all those crosses, but I’ll take it.” He shrugged, “to each his own, right?”

Louis stared at Harry for more than a minute and it started to freak him out. He smiled awkwardly, “uh, thanks for letting me use your bathroom.”

“You -you’re welcome.”

Harry gawked, “what? Oh snap –did you just say you’re welcome?” Louis took a step back. Harry snapped his fingers. “What! You’ve never said that to me!” He danced happily, “This is wonderful, we’re getting somewhere! Yes! I feel great!” He touched his stomach and then reached out to Louis. “I feel a connection, you feel me?”

Louis sucked in his cheeks, “no.”

Harry chuckled, “that’s cool, I feel it. Like on a spiritual level, you know?”

Louis actually took a step forward making Harry take one back. “Spiritual?”

Harry nodded slowly, “yeah.” He chuckled, “is –uh, that okay?”

Louis pressed his lips together and nodded quickly. He held the cross around his neck tightly, “li –like a spiritual brother.”

Harry almost shed a tear, “sure.” Did Louis just friend-zone him? Was this happening?

“Y –you do love God?”

Harry nodded, “yeah, we’re cool.”

Louis looked to the floor making Harry look down too. A grin spread across the photographer’s face when he caught a smile sowed into Louis’ lips. He unconsciously lifted Louis’ face. “Wow.” The stiches around Louis’ lips came undone as soon as they were sown.

Harry was stuck in awe, “you’re so fuc –flipping beautiful man.” Harry could see Louis’ composure shift. His eyes formed tears once again and Harry didn’t mind.

“No, I’m serious.” Harry shook his head, “you are like flawless-”

Both boy’s jumped when a loud banging came from Louis’ front door. Harry quickly looked at Louis who stood completely frozen. “You okay?”

Louis’ whole body was shaking, “W –who is-is that –that if it’s not you?”

Harry lifted an eyebrow at him, “I don’t know.” He laughed, “You have to go check.”

Louis shook his head, no.

“Oh!” Harry put his hands on his waist and frowned, “so this is what you do when I knock, huh? Well thanks, now I know you’re just standing here.” Louis put his hands to his chest as Harry scolded him. The younger boy smiled, “I’ll get it and say you aren’t here, kay?”

Louis opened his mouth and thought for a second, “bu -but that’s not true.”

          Harry tilted his head, “well, you gotta lie sometimes, you know?” Louis closed his mouth.

“Niall?”

“Shit, Haz, let me in!” Niall ran past Harry into Louis’ home.

“Niall, no!” Harry raised both hands at Louis who almost screamed. “Louis, Louis relax. I know him.”

Louis cried aloud, pointing a shaky finger at the blonde.

“Don’t worry he-”

“Fuck! Where’s your bathroom, dude?” Niall was talking to Louis. He shook his toothbrush in Louis’ face, “I’m going to be late for work! Oh, and do you have tooth paste?”

Harry slapped his friend, “stop! You’re scaring him!”

Niall looked at Louis who hadn’t moved an inch. He pouted and walked up to him, “listen, Louis?” Louis nodded fearfully. Niall nodded with a small smile, “yes. Louis, may I please use your bathroom?” Louis stayed still, hands gripping Harry’s cross for dear life. “See, because two people in my family are doing the nasty and I cannot get into my own bathroom.” Niall put his hand on Louis’ shoulder causing him to flinch, “and my breath smells like cow shit.” Louis lifted a trembling hand and pointed at the opened bathroom door.

Niall turned to the bathroom then back at Louis, “thank you. May God bless your-” Niall waved his hands around, “being or self, you. May God bless you.” Niall ran into the bathroom slamming the door.

Harry huffed and looked at Louis lazily, “I’m so sorry, Lou.”

Louis closed his eyes and cried silently. Harry stepped forward putting his hands around the crying boy, “I’m sorry.” Louis didn’t move away, he didn’t move at all, he stayed in Harry’s arms and continued to cry. Harry didn’t like this crying. The poor man was shaking to death.

“Holy shit!” Niall ran out of the bathroom, wet toothbrush in hand. “Dude!” Niall grabbed Harry’s arm pulling him away from Louis. “Dude!”

“What the hell, Niall!”

“There are crosses everywhere!”

Niall pushed Harry into the bathroom. Harry sighed, “I know.”

Niall’s eyes got smaller and he placed his toothbrush back in his mouth, “oh, okay, just wanted you to see.”

Harry looked around for Louis who wasn’t where he left him. “Lou?” Louis had one couch, a small bookshelf, a sliding glass door, a side table, lamp and rug. That was all. No TV, no radio, no coffee table, no –color.

Harry pressed his lips together before knocking on the door next to the bathroom. “Louis?”

“Just leave!”

Harry pouted, and knocked harder, “Louis, come out, please.” He could hear Louis’ sniffles.

“Just leave me alone! I never wanted to talk to you! I never wanted to see you! I don’t like you, and you keep bothering me! Just-” Louis was choking on his words. “Just go away!”

Harry pressed his forehead to Louis’ door, “Lou, I’m sorry. I didn’t know Niall would come over!” He sighed, "Please don’t say that to me. I take things to heart.”

‘You need to be soft with him’

Harry took a deep breath, “Louis, I wanna be your friend. Seriously, you just don’t have any idea. I wanna know more about you.” Harry dragged his fist down the door, “I know you’re scared of me, and of everyone but I’m here because I want to be.” Louis mumbled something Harry couldn’t understand.

“What?” Harry pressed his ear closer to the door, “Lou, I can’t hear anything!”

“Fine!”

Harry’s fingers shook, “wa –wait, what?” He tried opening the locked door, “say what you said again!”

Harry looked at the doorknob that was being turned. Louis opened the door, eyes as puffy as his lips. Louis looked straight into Harry’s eyes, “fine…”

 “Are you serious? Like,” Harry smiled big, “for real? Like we’re friends?”

Louis rubbed his arm, “no, but I can –can’t stop you from coming here so fine…” Louis rubbed his arm, “I will open the d –door for you.” Harry was sure he was dreaming; Louis was serious.

          He grabbed the smaller man, lifting him off the ground, “this is so awesome Lou!”

Louis kicked furiously trying to get out of Harry’s grip. He set him down softly, “do –no touching!”

Harry nodded seriously, putting his hands behind his back “deal.”

“Hey Lewis!” Niall poked his head out looking at Louis and Harry, “do you have a towel or something?”

Louis’ eyes grew, “y –you took a shower?”

Niall grinned, “Yeah. –said I needed your bathroom.” Harry put his head in his hands. “So about that towel?”

-

       

          “You’re a fucking moron!”

          “What!”

“I want to stomp you into the ground, Niall Horan!”

 Niall sat back with crossed arms as Harry drove angrily. “Li, Harry’s being mean.”

Liam looked at himself in the mirror, “that’s because you did something that was rude, and you pissed him off.”

Zayn laughed eating his egg sandwich, “you used the guy’s bathroom.”

Niall slapped Zayn, almost dropping his breakfast. “I said I had to!”

Liam sighed, lifting up the mirror, “Ni, darling, you cannot just barge into someone’s home, it’s rude.”

“You were using the bathroom, and I couldn’t find Harry! I thought he went out and I needed the car to go to work! I knocked on every door down the hall!”

Zayn slapped Niall back before biting into his food. “Don’t fucking hit me. And it doesn’t change that you’re still fucking rude.”

 Niall sat back with a pout, “you guys are all mean.”

Harry pressed on the car horn for a while, “ugh! I hate morning traffic, fucking ridiculous.”

“So, what happened after Niall busted out of the bathroom?”

Harry parked in front of Home Depot, Niall’s job. “Louis gave Niall a towel and went back in his room. I waited for Niall to get out, and I told him we were leaving.” Harry sighed and took a sip of Liam’s orange juice, “he never came out.”

Liam patted Harry’s leg with a soft smile, “it’ll be fine.”

Niall leaned forward kissing Harry’s cheek, “I love you, Haz.”

 Harry punched Niall in the shoulder, “yeah, yeah. Go to work.”

Niall tapped on Liam’s shoulder. Liam opened his door and moved the seat forward.

“I love you, bless!”

-

“Zayn, he has like a lot of crosses.”

Zayn lifted an eyebrow, “crosses?”

Harry nodded, “yeah, like,” he stopped at a sign and went on. “He has a shit load of crosses on his bathroom walls.”

Liam bit his lip, “Is it a weird thing? I don’t understand?”

Harry nodded quickly, “me either!” He huffed, “it doesn’t really matter, but it kind of freaked Ni and me out.”

Zayn shrugged, “maybe he’s into crosses.”

Harry chewed on his lip, “possibly –oh, and he doesn’t know what a fucking blow job is.”

Harry turned into an office parking lot, Liam’s job.

“He doesn’t know what a blow job is?” Zayn laughed, “Jesus, Haz, what’d you get into?”

Liam shook his head, “shut up,” He opened his door stepping out and allowing Zayn out. Liam bent over sticking his head inside the opened door, “when you talk to him more, you can ask him more about that.”

-

“So, you like him or what?”

“Zayn, you fucking asshole. I’ve been liking him!” Harry rubbed his eye, “You’re such a bitch.”

Zayn smirked, “ask him out then.”

Harry sighed, “You honestly don’t listen. He hates me.”

Zayn laughed, lowering his window. “Then why the fuck do you keep bothering him?”

Harry wanted to come back with something but Zayn was right. He was bothering the shit out of the guy. Harry would call the cops on himself.

Zayn lit his cigarette with a laugh, “leave the kid alone.”

“He’s not a kid, and ugh!” Harry hit the stirring wheel, “maybe he doesn’t hate me?”

Zayn passed the cigarette to Harry, “well, if he doesn’t then okay, but if he does, quit bugging him.”

Harry took a hit and let it out slowly, “I like him, dude, I want to just have a conversation with him without him crying –or shaking.” Harry sighed taking another hit.

Zayn shrugged, “then tell him that. After that, ask him if he wants to get ice cream, try to find out what he likes and shit.”

Harry looked at the darkening sky; it was going to rain.

“Okay, well I told him I wouldn’t come over today.” Harry pulled up to FedEx, Zayn’s new job.

Zayn leaned over pressing his forehead to Harry’s, “I love you, alright?”

Harry smiled, “bless, have a good day.”

-

Harry drove back to the apartment –in the rain. He couldn’t stop thinking about Louis and Louis’ eyes and Louis’ hair and Louis- Louis. Harry came to a full stop in front of a medical building. Across the street, Louis was under a roof, hiding from the rain –no umbrella. Harry scavenged the back seat for an umbrella –no such luck. He took a deep breath, setting his phone in the cup holder before opening his car door.

-

It was freezing

          The rain wasn’t letting up and Louis was so smart to go to the book store today out of all days.

“Lou!”

Louis looked around quickly, he heard his name? “Louis!” He looked through the harsh rain, seeing a memorable face, Harry. Was he following him?

          Harry jogged through the rain, slipping slightly in the process. Louis put his back to the brick wall while Harry shook the water off his hair. He looked up smiling, “hey.”

Louis blinked a couple of times; yeah, it was Harry.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” Harry looked around, squeezing water from his shirt, “it’s pouring.”

Louis nodded holding the bag in his hand tightly, “I needed a book.”

          Harry wiped the water from his face, “oh, okay. That’s cool, do you want a ride?” Louis looked to the sky for a moment, should he go? He took a ride with Liam but Harry was different. Harry made him nervous; Harry made him panic. He wasn’t getting much done in the rain though.

“Yes, okay.”

-

“So, do I drive better than Liam?”

Louis wiped his glasses clean and shrugged, “I don’t know…”

Harry laughed sleepily, “it’s cool if you say Liam.”

Liam drove with anger, and Harry drove with speed. They were different. Louis looked out the window; he didn’t even know how to drive. He never really needed to learn.

“What book did you buy?”

Louis looked over at Harry. He looked in his lap and pulled the book out, “it’s called, ‘God’s creation’.” Harry nodded and grabbed the book away from him. Louis’ looked from the road to Harry. Shouldn’t he be watching the road?

“What’s it about?”

Louis swallowed a wad in his throat, “uh- I could read the back.”

Harry smiled slyly, “yeah, read me the back.”

Louis grabbed the book from Harry with unsteady fingers. “Um,” Louis cleared his dry throat and began reading, “‘God’s creation. Why were we put on this earth?’”

Louis looked over at Harry who had a huge smile on his face. “Go on. I’m not stopping you.”

Louis nodded looking back down, “‘why do we love? Why do we hate? This book will allow you to take in and learn about God and why we should worship Him, whom without, we would have never existed’.” Louis turned the book around and looked back to Harry.

Harry’s pulled into the building, “so, that book has like all the answers about life or something?”

Louis shuddered, “No, I don’t know. I haven’t read-” Louis coughed, “read it.”

Harry nodded and turned off the car. “Can I see it?” Louis nodded, handing the book back over.

Harry flipped through the book; he laughed, confusing Louis. “There sure are a lot of pictures in here.” Louis nodded eyeing the book; there were a good amount of pictures.

Harry went to the first page, “‘God. A name we hear many times in many different languages, but who is God and what was his purpose for the human race?’” Harry chuckled, “how does this person know?” He looked over at Louis who just wished he would have kept reading.

“Who is this guy?” Harry flipped to the cover, “Henry Wallace.” He rolled his eyes, “did God talk to him?”

Louis’ fingers fiddled together, Harry was interested? “Um, he wrote the book. God maybe talked to him.”

Harry smiled, “really? You think so?”

Louis shrugged, “he’s talked to people before?”

Harry flipped through the book again, “but that was a long time ago, right? What makes this guy special?” Harry laughed, “Is this supposed to be Jesus?”

Louis looked down at the picture and nodded, “that is Jesus.”

Harry bit his lip, “you’ve met him?”

Louis blushed and shook his head, “no, of course not.”

Harry nodded, “okay then?”

“Then what?”

“How do you know how he looks?”

Louis blinked twice, “t –the bible.”

 “Oh shit, I didn’t know the bible had pictures. Which bible have you read?” Louis felt like Harry was being sarcastic, very sarcastic.

The rain continued beating on the window as Harry read more of the book.

“‘Let’s begin with God’.” Harry shook his head, “God is love. He is also a vast being that we cannot understand. Trying to understand God is impossible.” Harry scowled, “what is this shit? We can’t understand God?”

Louis was puzzled; he couldn’t understand what was wrong with the book. It was telling the truth.

“Louis, please, do not read this book.”

Louis gasped softly, “bu-”

“Okay I will pay you,” Harry looked at the price tag. “What the fuck –okay, I will pay you 17.99 to not read this damn book. I already hate it.”

Louis snatched it away with a frown, “there is nothing wrong with it.”

Harry scoffed, “uh, yeah there is.”

Louis really did want to know. “What?”

Harry set his keys in his cup holder. “Alright, get comfortable.” Harry pointed at the seat belt, “go ahead, we aren’t moving.”

Louis slowly undid his seat belt and faced Harry, what was wrong with the book! It was a book!

“Number one, pictures.” Harry sighed, “Last time I checked there was no cameras back in 600 B.C.”

Louis took a deep breath. He would defend his faith to his death. “I –It’s a depiction of what we think they look like, I’m sure they looked different but it’s just a drawing.”

Harry nodded, “Got that, but there really shouldn’t be pictures of God. Pretty sure we can’t see him. But okay, I’ll give you that one.” Louis nodded once. “Number two, that guy just wrote that God was love, why wouldn’t we be able to understand him?”

Louis licked his lips, “because we are on a different level than God.”

          Harry gave Louis a dull look, “God never said he was better than us, he said he was love. Why wouldn’t I be able to understand love?”

God is love

God gave us the ability to love

          We should be able to understand him?

“Number three, if he was really serious about what he was saying he wouldn’t need to have to convince other people about it. If I believe something, I know I’m right. I don’t need to make a book to try and prove what I already know, feel me?”

 “He’s trying to spread the word of God.”  
          Harry shrugged, “Eh, not by starting off a book with lies.” Harry tapped on Louis’ nose, “not a very good way to get the, ‘truth’, out.”


	7. Fortune Cookie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

 

Louis had been on edge for about five hours now. He hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept, he could barely think. He’d read over tons and tons of scriptures trying to convince himself of –nothing. To convince himself of –what?

Harry and him had ran out of the car, becoming drenched in the harsh rain. Harry walked Louis home in silence and for once Louis was hoping Harry would open his mouth. And after the religious boy went home, he realized his book was soaked, leaving the ink to bleed against the pages.

Louis was freaking out.

He paced around the room, anxiety eating at him to the bone. Why was he freaking out? Louis didn’t know. Possibly because Harry made him rethink things; maybe?

There were no pictures in the bible, but maybe Louis just explained it wrong! The man wasn’t lying! He was spreading God’s word!

Louis chewed on his nails walking from his bathroom to his room, and back to his bathroom. Could Louis understand God? No, of course not. God was a supreme being.

But-

          But God was love, and Louis should be able to understand love.

          He sat on his couch in a huff. It was just a book by a man, whom Louis actually enjoyed reading. He loved Wallace’s books, but Harry hadn’t even been one page through and he made Louis think twice about something that Louis knew everything about.

         He grabbed his bible off the side table and tapped his foot on the floor. Louis stared at the wall for more time than anyone should stare at a wall. Wallace was an amazing writer; Louis had never doubted the man.

_‘So, that book has all the answers or something?’_

Louis tapped his foot faster leaving an echo of taps throughout the living room. Maybe the book did? Louis looked down at the bible; no, of course it didn’t because the bible did –right?

Louis growled pulling his hair, why was Louis doubting himself! No one, not his father, nor mother, could make his faith falter! Why was Harry, over some stupid words, making him think so hard?

Louis closed his eyes, flipped through his bible and stopped. He blindly pointed at a scripture and opened his eyes.

“Song of Solomon;” he took a shaky breath. The book of Solomon was filled with romance, so Louis was a little nervous.

 “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth- for your love…” Louis blinked twice, “for your love is more delightful than wine.” He squinted at the scripture and quickly closed the book. He put it on the small table and moved away. Louis looked up and shook his head, “what does that even mean!” He stomped into his room and dropped to his knees.

Louis felt angry, annoyed and angry. What was God trying to tell him? That he should kiss Harry! Harry is a man! Louis is not gay and Harry is not gay!

_‘God never said he was better than us.’_

He folded his hands tightly and closed his eyes, “Jehovah God! What is going on! I apologize for raising my voice, but I don’t understand! I ask for your help and you give me a strange scripture such as that! I will run back to the living room and try once more! Please, please don’t make me find something as weird as that, again!” Louis clenched his teeth, “In the means of your son and our king, Amen!”

Louis stood up marching his way back into the living room. He didn’t sit down this time; he picked up the book and closed his eyes tightly.

Flip, stop, point, and open.

Louis sighed and read, “1 Corinthians 13:13, and now these three remain: faith, hope and love.” Louis felt his blood boil, “but the greatest of these is love!” Louis threw the bible onto the couch. "What does that mean?” Louis felt his eyes burn, “Wh –what is that! Do you want me to stop –wh-” Louis cried into his hands and sat on the cold floor.

          He looked down at his wet hands and watched the cross around his neck swing.

_‘God never said he was better than us.’_

Louis held the cross tightly.

_‘He said he was love. Why wouldn’t I be able to understand love?’_

Louis took a deep breath. For the strangest reason he wanted a hug. Just a small one, but he wanted a hug. He wanted a hug, and he wanted to talk to someone; someone who would talk back… he wanted Harry.

-

“Ni, let’s go! Zayn’s gunna be late, you fucking asshole!” Harry shouted putting his camera around his neck. He was requested to photograph a birthday today –all fucking day.

It was an old man’s birthday, he had met him while he was walking home and the guy saw the camera, so that was that. He didn’t mind photographing for the man; it was just Louis.

He went to Louis’ house every day at one –latest; two o’clock. He could go later tonight; maybe Louis would miss his visit. Harry liked thinking positively, the thought of Louis missing him felt really nice. Even though Louis probably didn’t, the conversation in the car was good, but not so good.

“Harry!”

The photographer was ready to rip out his hair. “Yes!”

“Harry! Come here, please!”

Harry stomped his feet and shook with rage. He trudged to the room and took a deep breath before entering Liam’s room. “Yes, Liam?”

Liam looked up from his pillow and smiled, “come here, love, before you leave.”

Harry pulled his camera from around his neck and set it on the dresser. He got on his knees and placed his head in his hands, “what’s up, Li?”

Liam smiled softly, “I had a really nice dream about you last night.” Harry smiled big; when Liam had dreams about you, good things happened.

“Well, tell me then.”

Liam pulled his blanket closer to his chest “you died.”

Harry’s face fell, “What the fuck –how is that a good dream?”

Liam shushed him “listen, you died but when you died you grabbed me and we were in an ocean. It was so beautiful. When I opened my eyes again, you were taking pictures of this beautiful beach.” Liam bit his lip, smiling wide, “you told me to hold your camera and that you’d meet me under.” Liam sat up, “I jumped in after you, and of course I left the camera on the sand.” Harry nodded.

“Oh Haz, it was so beautiful.  There was something or someone singing.” Liam sighed contently, “It was wonderful, Harry. When we came up out of the water guess who was there?”

“Zayn?”

“No.”

“Ni?”

“No.”

Harry bit his cheek, “mom?”

Liam shook his head, “nope, Louis.”

Harry bounced on his knees a bit, “what happened?”  
            “He was taking photos and when we went up to him he ran away.”

Harry pouted, “How is this a good dream again?”

          Liam slapped him, “When we looked through the pictures, it was pictures of us under water.” Liam closed his eyes, “Louis was taking photographs of us, and he had to be the one singing. Ugh, I don’t know.” Liam hugged himself and patted Harry’s head, “keep him close, okay?”

Harry nodded once, “I will.”

          Liam closed his eyes and yawned, “I had a vivid dream about him, which is weird because I don’t really know him.” Liam opened his eyes. He pointed at Zayn in the doorway, “Go, Zayn’s been waiting.”

Harry turned around at his friend who tapped on his wrist, “sorry!” Harry stood quickly and hugged Liam, “I love you, Li –uh, we’ll talk more about that dream later.” Liam gave a sleepy smile, and waved Harry away.

-

Zayn groaned at the sign on the elevator. That was right, the apartment’s elevator had been broken since they moved in! He really didn’t understand why this place was that expensive; the fucking elevator had been broken for almost a month!

Zayn jogged up the stairs, quickly, package in hand. He stopped on the third floor, his floor.

Apartment 310.

This was so stupid. Weren’t other people supposed to deliver packages to where he lived? Why did he had to leave home to only come back home, this was just plain ridiculous. 

Zayn was already half way done with this job. If he wasn’t fighting people at the station then he was coming back home to deliver packages –to his own apartment.

He stared at the unopened door for a long time. He was told to knock hard and at least four times before leaving. He’d knocked about seven, and was truly thinking about kicking it. The delivery boy set the package on the ground and pulled a pad paper out of his pocket.

Zayn hated this part. You had to, not only wear these stupid shorts, and tuck in your shirt, but if people didn’t answer the door you had to leave a note. He thought for a moment and looked down the hall; he could leave it in his place and drop it off later? Illegal? Probably. Will he go to jail for it, maybe? Federal crime, definitely. But Zayn didn’t care much while he was running to his apartment door.

-

“Haz!”

“Yes!”

“Harry!”

Harry sobbed softly as a new episode of his favorite cartoon came on. “What! My new episode’s coming on now!”

“Harry, come here!”

He kicked his feet against his bed, throwing the covers off. They finally got the cable up! He missed so many new episodes, and when he finally tries to watch one, the world decides to take a shit on him.

Harry dragged himself into the living room, where Liam and Niall were hanging up new picture frames. –Liam was hanging new frames.

“Whattt?” Harry groaned walking next to the small stepladder, “why can’t anyone in this place leave me alone?”

“Harry, please stop talking so slow.” Liam pointed at the floor, “Pass me that, please.”

Harry gawked, “wh –what! Niall is right there!”

“Just pass me it, Haz.”

Niall laughed, getting up to get the door. Harry screamed into the air, kicking the small step ladder several times. Liam shook his head, “Could you please control yourself?”

Zayn trekked inside, and dropped on the couch. He took a deep breath and let it go, “I hate my job.”

Liam laughed, climbed down the ladder and into his boyfriends lap, “you always say that.”

Zayn dug his face into Liam’s neck, “because it’s true.” He groaned loudly, “there is so much physical activity.”

Harry sat on the small ladder and smirked, “then go to the gym like you wanted to, asshole.”

Niall shuddered and held onto his chips tightly, “the gym is an awful place.” He grabbed Zayn’s arm, “don’t do it, it’s not worth it!”

Liam laughed pinching Niall’s cheek, “why is that, Ni?” He rolled his eyes, “it’s a good thing I got wheat bread.”

Niall glared, shaking his head, “yeah, I saw that.” He pointed at Harry, “it’s all your boyfriend’s fault.”

Harry chuckled, “Oh, how I wish it was.”

Niall scoffed, “and by the way, Liam.” He spat, “the gym is evil for a multitude of reasons.”

Harry held the picture in his hands and groaned, “I’m missing my show for this shit.” 

“Shut up,” Niall went on. “One, everyone that goes is already in shape!” Niall lifted his arms, “why go if you look banging already? Number two, the people are always staring.” Niall cut his eyes, “like hawks. It’s like they’re waiting for you to fuck up or something.”

Zayn smirked at his friend, “you’re just lazy.”

Niall shook his head, stuffing his hand in his chip bag, “no, I’m just right.” 

Zayn groaned patting Liam’s leg, “I’m gunna take a shower –shit!”

Liam got off quickly as Zayn ran to the room. He shook his head with a smile and slapped Harry off the ladder.

Harry let his arms fall, “why can’t Niall help you!”

“He already did!” Liam pointed at the hanging pictures, “He helped me hang all of your pictures!”

Harry pouted as Zayn ran out of the room; package in hand, “I have to drop this fucking box off, damn.”  Zayn un-tucked his shirt with one hand.

Niall laughed, “God that outfit is fucking ridiculous.”

“Shut up, or I’m gunna put spiders in your bed.”

Niall frowned, “Liam!”

-

Zayn trotted down the hall, “310.” He looked at his watch, 9:24, not too late. He knocked on the door firmly and waited. He stared at the door as nothing happened, again. He knocked a bit harder, “delivery!”

The door was unlocked quickly making Zayn take a step back. He stared at the fairly small boy who stared back at him, “uh hello.” Zayn looked at the package, “Lewis Tomlinson?”

The boy looked horrified of Zayn and he wasn’t sure why. He nodded slowly, “Lo –Louis.”

Zayn shook his head, “yeah, my bad, Louis. This is yours. I was supposed to bring it earlier, but no one had answered?”

Louis said nothing, just stared. Zayn smiled awkwardly, “alright, here is your package then.” He pointed the box Louis’ way, the boy looked at it cautiously before taking a deep breath.

Louis took it and looked back at Zayn. “T –thank you.”

Zayn nodded, “no problem I live right down the hall.” He chuckled in annoyance, “they make you leave home and then just come right back, outrageous, right?”

Louis’ eyes were big and bright and blue. Zayn was a bit afraid of the boy if he was honest; he looked like a statue. Zayn looked down at Louis’ neck, his head tilted a bit and he reached out making Louis pull back. He looked up and squinted a bit, “uh, where’d you get that?”

Louis looked down at his neck and held the cross tightly, “I-I a per –person.”

Zayn chuckled and shook his finger, “hold on, hold on. Louis? The Louis?”

Louis shook his head quickly as Zayn’s smile grew, “holy shit I finally meet you!” Zayn stuck out his hand, “I’m Zayn, Harry’s friend.” Louis looked like he had taken a shit. Zayn retracted his hand when Louis started shaking. “Uh, you okay, dude?”

Louis nodded, “I’m sorry.”

“Did he give it to you?” Louis looked up. “The necklace?” Zayn pointed, “He gave you moms cross?”

Louis nodded slowly. Zayn smirked, “that bastard really likes you, huh?” Tears filled up Louis’ eyes.

 “Yo, no, don’t cry.” Zayn chuckled nervously, “Harry’s gunna kill me. It’s cool, I can leave, man.” Louis nodded covering his mouth. Zayn backed away slowly, “sorry for making you cry. I didn’t mean to.” He bit his lip, “enjoy your package.”

-

“You made him cry.” Harry stopped eating from his take out box, “what the fuck?”

 “Ha! I wasn’t the only one who fucked up!” Liam kicked Niall with his foot.

The group laid on Liam’s and Zayn’s bed, stuffing their mouths to the brim.

“I didn’t even do anything, man.” He ate a piece of chicken; “swear to God he just started crying for nothing after I saw mom’s necklace on him.”

 Liam pouted, “don’t get jumpy, Haz, you know he does that.”

Harry shrugged, “I’m not jumpy.” He sighed, setting down the box; “maybe it’s because I haven’t seen him today.”

 Zayn pointed at the door, “go then, he’s awake probably.”

Harry thought for a while, “Should I?”

Liam ate a piece of fortune cookie, “up to you. – Hey, first tell me what happened with the whole God thing.”

Harry took one more bite of food before standing up, “I told him not to read the book and I think he got offended. It was because the book was bullshit.” Harry grabbed one of Zayn’s shirts from off the floor.

Harry groaned putting on the shirt, “God is love but we can’t understand him.”

Niall snickered, “you attacked him cause of a book? Let him read it if he wants.”

“I like him. I don’t want him to read lies.”

Liam nodded, “Just don’t attack him about it.”  
          “I don’t think I did.” Harry shrugged, “We actually talked about it.”

Zayn yawned, “Can’t wait til you tell him Jesus isn’t white.”

-

Louis couldn’t sleep and he had no clue as to why.

Maybe it was Zayn?

How many people did Harry live with?

Maybe it was because Harry hadn’t come by? Louis rubbed his eyes, Harry shouldn’t be the reason why Louis can or cannot sleep.

The package was from his parents, a gift from their holiday. It was a bunch of little things; a cross and a bible with his initials on the back; it was nice of them. There was a necklace with a paper plane charm that Louis was probably never going to wear.

For a while now Louis’ whole routine had been off. He was supposed to sleep at eight or nine o’clock on the dot. It was 11:12 and he was wide-awake reading the bible to keep himself busy. Harry was the reason for his destroyed routine.  Right after Harry appeared everything flipped upside down.

Louis almost dropped his bible when he heard knocking on his door. At this time, why would- Louis jumped again. He stood slowly, fear devouring him. Who was it?

“Lou?”

Only one person called him Lou, Harry. Louis looked back at the door, should he open it? He did want to see Harry, kind of.

He padded over to the door, touching the lock, he said he would answer and he had lied enough this week. Louis unlocked the door and peeked out to see no one. He looked around and took a step out seeing Harry waddling back down the hall.

Should he call him back?

Louis had to react quickly, his heart felt tight and his hands were sweating. Faster. Faster, Louis, choose!

 “H –Harry!”

Harry stopped and spun around, smile evident on his face from all the way down the hall, “Lou!”

Louis held his body tightly while Harry jogged back to his door. “Hey, Lou!” Harry hugged Louis, and Louis melted but Harry pulled away too quickly.

“Oh.” Harry made a frown, “forgot about the touching and stuff.”

Louis could cry, he’d been dying for a hug. Something he’d never craved, and Harry gave him one, a really… really short hug.

Harry was as bright as ever, “so, how are you!”

Louis swallowed the lump stuck in his throat, “good, thank you.”

Harry nodded and leaned on the wall, “this is so cool, and we’re in front of your door. You’re like outside with me.” Harry looked down, “in no shoes.”

Louis curled his toes and looked down with a blush, “I –I don’t like them.”

Harry smirked, “me either.” He wiggled his bare feet against the hallway floor. Louis pressed his lips together and looked Harry up and down, he looked different. The shirt he was wearing looked a bit tight.

Harry looked down at his shirt, “This isn’t my shirt; it’s Zayn’s.”

Louis nodded slowly and held Harry’s necklace, “Zayn is your friend?”

Harry smiled softly, “yeah, he’s like my brother. I’ve known him for years, he’s an asshole though –I mean, damn.” Harry scolded himself, “he’s mean.”

Louis shrugged, “he’s okay.”

Louis felt weird. Not weird, maybe off- no. Not off. Louis felt –comfortable? Was comfortable a strange feeling, an off feeling? Wasn’t comfortable supposed to be a good thing? He was calm, he didn’t feel like crying, he felt like –He kind of felt like –like sleeping?

“Sorry I didn’t come by today, sure you didn’t mind.” Harry chuckled, “um, I was doing some birthday party for this old guy.” Louis listened and for once, he wanted Harry to talk. It wasn’t scary or threatening, it wasn’t awkward and he felt pleasant.

“It was a pretty cool party though.” Harry smiled at Louis, “he had like a 70’s party theme, and it was awesome.”

Louis nodded, “that’s nice.”

 Harry slid down the wall and sat on the hallway floor, “yeah, but I’m so tired and I couldn’t even watch my show. Liam’s such a dic -butt face?” Harry laughed, “Sorry, no cursing allowed.”

Louis watched Harry carefully, he looked tired. Louis didn’t want him to leave, not yet. He slowly and awkwardly sat on the floor closing his door slightly. Louis brought his knees to his chest and waited.

 Harry looked over tiredly, head against the wall and gave a half smile, “what about you? What’d you do today?”

Louis shrugged, “nothing.”

Harry snorted, “come on, you had to have done something.”

 Louis placed his head on his knees, “I read a lot, and went out to the library.”

 Harry nodded; smile never leaving his face. “Cool, cool.  What’d you read?” Harry cleared his throat, “did you read that book?”

Louis shook his head, “it was messed up, by the rain.”

Harry pouted, “My bad, I didn’t mean for it to like smudge or anything.”

“It’s fine.” Louis sighed, “I read the bible today.”

Harry nodded, “cool, what part did you read?”

Louis was taken back; Harry wanted to know? Harry looked genuinely interested and like he really wanted to know. It made Louis’ heart flutter. It made him sit up a little straighter.

Louis took a small breath, “I just jumped around and stuff.” Harry motioned him to go on. “What?”

Harry laughed, “Okay, what’d you read? What was it about?”

Louis lifted his head, “I read a lot of Peter.”

Harry nodded, “okay? What was your favorite part?”

Louis squinted at Harry, “my favorite verse?”

“Sure.”

Louis didn’t even have to think about it, “1 Peter 5:7, cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Louis smiled softly, “it’s my favorite verse in the whole bible.”

Harry smiled whole-heartedly at the tiny boy, “that’s pretty nice huh?” Louis’ smile went away.

“You can throw all your burden on someone- some being.” Harry smiled, “it feels good, huh?”

Louis nodded slowly, “what’s yours?”

Harry smirked, “I don’t know, I don’t read the bible like you.” He snickered, “Should I have one?”

Louis shrugged, “If you want to.”

 Harry bit his lip, eyes never leaving Louis’ frame. “Okay, I think I have a bible at home. When I have the chance I’ll look for my favorite- verse?”

Louis nodded quickly, “and then you’ll tell me it?”

Harry stuck out his pinky confusing Louis. “Pinky promise.” Louis looked at Harry’s finger then at his; he lifted his pinky slowly and Harry linked them together.

“There,” He pulled away, “pinky promise.”

Louis looked at his little finger and left it up, “pinky promise.”

“When we were younger we thought everyone was on our side, then we grew a little…”

          Louis listened to Harry sing softly. Harry looked over, “sorry, I like singing.”

 Louis shook his head, “no, sing.” He blushed a deep red. He’d never heard the song but it didn’t sound bad coming from Harry.

Harry rubbed his arm, “now I’m a little self-conscious.” He crossed his legs, “so, you’re really into this God stuff?”

“Yes.”

Harry bit his nail, “why?”

Louis thought for a moment, “I love Him.”

Harry yawned softly, “yeah, but why?”

Louis put his head back on his knees, “he is the reason I’m alive.”

Harry shook his head, “My mom gave me life, doesn’t mean I have to love her.” Louis blinked a couple of times. “Why do you love Him so much?”

Louis’ breathing sped up,

 Why’d he love God?

Of course it was because- he- wait-

What?

He loved God because-

He loved God cause-

“Louis? Harry to Lou, come in, over.” Harry’s hands were waving in Louis’ face, “it’s cool, Lou. You could love him for no reason.”

“No!” Louis raised his voice a bit, “I have a reason!”

 Harry tilted his head, “then why?”

Louis couldn’t speak, he was having a meltdown, why’d he love God! It was a simple question! Why couldn’t he just answer it!

“Louis.” Harry’s hand touched his knee softly, “it’s okay. No worries.”

Louis nodded, “o-okay.”

          Harry smiled, “I guess I’m gunna head back and eat the rest of my food then knock out.” Harry stood up with the help of the wall; he reached out his hand for Louis to grab. Louis stared at the appendage for a while before accepting it.

“Thank you…”

“No problem.” Harry yawned again, “Do you want like a fortune cookie or food? We got a lot because Niall’s crazy and he doesn’t know how to order correctly.”

“No, thank you.”

“You sure?” Harry pointed at his apartment, “those fortune cookies from this place are pretty fuc –bomb.”

Louis looked at the floor, “I don’t li –like sweets.”

Harry’s mouth formed a large frown, “oh my God, what?”

 Louis turned his feet inward, “I don’t know.”

“Are you shitting –shooting –for real? None, you hate all sweets?”

“None.”

Harry shook his head, “okay, I fucking –fuck –fuck, stop cursing!” Harry laughed, holding his stomach. “Fortune cookies aren’t my thing, but these are amazing.” He started backing up, “just try a piece, if you don’t like it I swear I’ll take it away!” Before Louis could speak Harry was running down the hall.

He was trying to hide it but Louis was sure it was showing. His fear; his fear of Harry. But not a physical fear, not anymore, it was a spiritual fear. Harry made Louis think, made him re-think things and that scared him to death. 

It was okay though, why was he okay with it? He was learning so much about Harry, he was speaking to Harry, and he was allowing Harry to touch him? What was so special about a crazy guy with crazy hair and a crazy attitude toward life? Harry made Louis feel excited.

Louis stayed still, shoeless, the whole time Harry was gone. As he ran back, Louis recognized the trio waving at him from down the hall.

“Alright,” Harry was catching his breath, “here.” He passed him the cookie wrapped in clear plastic “go on.”

Louis opened the cookie with unsteady fingers. “I’m not going to like it.”

“Sh,” Harry grabbed the cookie and opened it quickly, “just try it, trust me.”

Louis grabbed the cookie and sniffed it.

Harry smiled and nodded “go on.” Louis brought it to his lips but Harry stopped him, “no! There is a paper inside.” Harry took it back and cracked it open. He shook his head laughing, “Here, read it then eat it.”

Louis looked back at the people by Harry’s door then at Harry. He took a deep breath and read the paper, “Co –conquer your fears…or they will conquer you.” Louis looked up at Harry with wide eyes, “wh –what does that mean?”

Harry pouted, “No clue, you should ask Liam. He’s all spiritual, but here!” Harry stuffed the cookie into Louis’ palm, “eat the cookie.”

Louis bit into the hard cookie with twisted features. He chewed and chewed some more, enjoying the taste. Harry made a smug face, “hey! What’d I tell you? Yummy, right?”

Louis swallowed and smiled, he didn’t know how a cookie could make him smile but it did. Harry jumped up and down, “aw! You love it, don’t you! We have more!”

Louis shook his head quickly, “no –no, thank you. This is fine.”

“You’re welcome.” Harry grunted, “Please, everyone loves sweets.”

-

Louis had eaten the rest of his cookie, happily, and placed his little cookie paper inside his bible. He felt exhausted. Harry tired him out. Louis went to sleep, the day felt as though it had shifted. 

Louis had a dream that he was underwater

Singing to two creatures

Taking pictures of the beautiful creatures

He ended up on a beach

But he ran away from the creatures

He was happy when he ran

Hoping they were able to see the pictures

He didn’t put on his pajamas, he didn’t wash the dishes, he didn’t brush his teeth, he didn’t put his bible under his pillow nor did he say his nighttime prayer.

Louis slept on clouds

 


	8. Palms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

 

 

                  

         Harry watched Louis walk away, fortune cookie held in his palm. Louis took one more look back and Harry gave a small wave, “see you tomorrow.” Louis nodded and went inside his apartment.

            Harry closed his eyes tightly and turned around seeing Niall, Liam and Zayn waiting for him at the door. He screamed with a closed mouth running back to the group, “holy shit, holy shit, holy shit –you guys!”

         Zayn laughed and leaned on the door frame, “what happened?”

       Harry jumped up and down, “fuck! He’s fucking perfect! I knew it!” Harry groaned shaking his hands, “oh my fuck! I fucking- ah!” Harry couldn’t speak, he leaned against the wall and slid down, “I’m gunna die.”

 

Liam laughed and knelt down, “come inside, Haz,” 

Harry shook his head, “give me a sec cause –Jesus.” 

Niall smirked, “so, I assume things went well-“

Harry squealed kicking his legs and covering his face. “Fuck, it went better than that!” He felt like crying, “it went perfect. He’s so fucking precious.” Harry pulled on his hair, “he’s so god damn beautiful. He’s so fragile and tiny and his fucking eyes,” Harry groaned. “I almost got hard over him eating a cookie –a cookie!” 

Niall scrunched his nose in disgust, “weirdo.” He walked back inside, Zayn following.

 Liam patted his friend’s shoulder, “are you okay?” 

Harry shook his head, “no.” He grabbed Liam’s shirt tightly, “Liam, he’s talking to me; he’s letting me talk to him. –Liam, he's not crying!” 

Liam laughed and pulled Harry’s hand off his shirt, “that’s nice, Haz.” He stood up and fixed his crinkled shirt, “when you’re ready, the door will be open.” He walked inside leaving Harry on the floor; grin ripping his face in two.

Louis was communicating; things were going too well. 

Harry smiled to himself; what would happen now? Louis and him were becoming closer and Harry adored it, in every single way. 

Louis… he was tiny; Louis was tiny and gorgeous. Harry rubbed his crotch down, yeah; really fucking gorgeous. He was intelligent and Harry knew Louis had a lot more to say and Harry wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear it all, he wanted to know about Louis’ life and his family. He wanted to know why Louis was so fearful and why he hated sweets. He wanted to know why he hated shoes and why he liked to read. He wanted to know how his body looked and how he would look under him.

Harry shuddered just at the thought, he was like eighty-nine percent sure he would never have sex with Louis. Louis was a ball of innocence that Harry wasn’t even sure he wanted to deflower. He would love to push him into a mattress but he also wanted to hold Louis and rock him to sleep. Harry wanted to fuck him against a wall but he also wanted to cook him dinner and feed him. He wanted to hold his hand and give him kisses galore. He wanted to devour the small angel; oh he wished he could. Just keep him locked away, only for Harry. It was greedy, mean and wrong of Harry to want, but it wasn’t a want anymore –Louis was a necessity.

 

 

-

 

“Harry! Mom’s on the phone!” Harry groaned sitting up and jogging to the kitchen where Liam was washing dishes. Harry grabbed the phone and kissed Liam’s forehead.

          “She pissed you haven’t called her.” Harry nodded putting Liam’s phone to his ear.

          “Hey mom.”

 “Yeah, thanks for calling.”

          Harry chuckled grabbing a piece of candy from the candy jar on the coffee table. “My bad, how are you?”

          Anne sighed, “I’m fine, thank you. What about you?”         

         “I’m fucking fabulous, thanks for asking.”

         Harry could hear his her smile, “Liam told me about Louis.” She scoffed, “I swear he is the only one that calls me! Where the fuck are my boys?”

         Harry laughed, “Working. Niall should be home soon though.” He popped the chocolate ball in his mouth and stepped past the tie dyed curtain out onto the balcony, “everyone’s real good though. Everything is finally in its place and shit.”

         "That’s good, baby, I'm glad. So, what’s up with Louis?"

         Harry smirked and sat in one of the balcony chairs, he set his legs on the small table, “honestly, I don’t know. He’s finally got used to me, I think.” Harry smiled at the thought, “he’s opening up and stuff. It’s fucking awesome.”

         Anne laughed, “Good. You didn’t break into his house again, right?”

         Harry grabbed a box of cigarettes on the table; he hit the bottom with a laugh, “no, I mean, I go there every damn day and he’s finally talking to me.” Harry looked around for a lighter that wasn’t there, “damn- whatever. So yeah, he’s so fucking perfect though, mom.”

          “I’m sure he is, Haz. I’m happy you found someone that makes you happy.”

         Harry put the stick behind his ear and walked back inside, “thanks, mom, seriously.”

         Anne sighed, “Haz, how’s my little blonde?”

         Harry scoffed grabbing a lighter off the coffee table, “he’s fine, always fucking eating and taking my bed.” Harry shook his head, “I can’t hate him though.”

        “Of course not, he’s special.” Anne stayed quiet for a moment, “has he called Maura?”

         Harry stopped before going back outside, “no, why?”

         “Cause she called me asking how he was. I told her he was fine.”

         Harry snorted, “Why the fuck would she want to know?”

        “Haz, that’s his mother.”  
        

         “No?” Harry laughed dryly, stepping back outside. “You’re his mother. You really think he's gunna call her?"

        “I know I am. And no but she wants to see him, Harry. It’s only fair-”

        “No.” Harry grabbed the stick behind his ear and lit it, “you go tell Niall that.”

         “I asked Liam to and he said he would but you ask too.”

        Harry let the smoke leave his mouth, “he’s not going to listen.” Harry chuckled deeply, “she kicked him out when he was sixteen, mom, because he wouldn’t give her five dollars for drugs.”

         Liam stepped outside, sitting across from Harry. “You really think he wants to talk to her?”

        “Harry, she’s better, but he wouldn’t know because he won’t talk to her.”

         Harry looked at Liam and shook his head. Liam shrugged and pulled the cigarette from Harry’s hand.

        “You know what, just have him call me when he gets home.”

         Harry rolled his eyes, “okay.”

        “I love you and give my boys kisses. –Oh, and tell Zayn to call me! Fucking asshole, never calls me or Tricia.”

        Harry laughed, “Alright. I love you, mom. Bless.”

       “Bless baby.”

“She asked you to ask Niall?” 

Harry nodded and took the cancer stick back, “it’s stupid, he’s not gunna fucking talk to her, like –ugh. Mom is so difficult sometimes, man.” 

Liam shrugged, “I’m gunna talk to him.” 

Harry filled his lungs once more, “he’s just gunna get pissed,” he released the thin smoke, “and leave to Dani’s house.” 

Liam bit his lip, “probably.”

“Yeah.” Harry offered the cigarette back to Liam who denied. “He always does, and then Zayn’s gunna get mad and he’s going to go get him, then we’re gunna get in a huge fight again.” Harry smashed the stick into the colorful ashtray. “Watch,” He shrugged, “I think they need to leave him be and let him decide when to talk to the bitch. Mom can’t be deciding for him.”

“But he never will.”

“Okay!” Harry lifted his hands, “who gives a shit? Then he’ll never talk to her. Why is that anyone’s problem but his? It’s his mom, not ours.” 

Liam smiled sadly, “I know. I never force Niall to do anything, Haz.” Liam folded his legs, “I just ask if he wants to and I talk to him about it.” 

Harry nodded chewing on his inner cheek, “just don’t tell Zayn then, cause he’s just gunna fight with everyone.”

Liam scoffed. “I will talk to him, Zayn just screams at mom and causes more problems.”

 

“Home!”

Liam sat up, pulling a side of the bright curtain open, “in the back!” He sat back down and looked at Harry, “let me get my phone so I can text Andy.” 

Harry cut his eyes, “piece of shit.” He threw the phone at Liam’s lap, “why do you talk to him?”

Liam sighed, “You realize you are the only one who doesn’t like him?”

“Good-”

“Hello, hello.” Niall stepped onto the balcony shirtless. He went behind Liam and kissed the top of his head, “how was your day?” 

Harry pouted, “Shit. I need cash, dude.”

           Niall leaned on the back of Liam’s chair, “Dani is doing a birthday party for Erica. See if she needs someone to take pictures or you can tat her. I know she wanted a new one.”

           Harry thought for a second, “I could do both. When is the party?”

          “Uh, I think on the 15th? Just text her.”

          Harry nibbled on his middle finger, “how old is Erica now?”

          Niall squinted a bit, “I think she’s four now?”

        “Five.” Liam corrected. “And Andy wanted a tat too, Haz.”

          “Fuck no.” Harry scooted off the chair. “Don’t even ask me that shit.” He stood, “tell that fucker to go find someone else and that I will never do shit for him.”

          Liam rolled his eyes. “I’m gunna text her now –for you. Niall, call mom, she’s all pissy that no one has called.”

          Niall stomped his foot, “fuck, I was supposed to call last night.” Harry walked inside and Niall followed.

“Hey, uh, mom also wants you to call Maura.” 

Niall walked to the kitchen, ignoring Harry.

Harry shrugged, “Liam’s gunna talk to you, so get ready.”

-

“Zayn!”

“Bathroom!”

Harry jogged to the bathroom and opened the door to see Zayn sitting on the toilet, phone in hand. “Hey, do we have a bible around here?” 

Zayn’s eyes never left the game on his phone, “I don’t know, ask Liam.” 

Harry groaned, and leaned on the door, “he went for a walk with Niall.”

“I don’t know, Haz! You’re gunna make me lose!” 

Harry glared at him, “if we did, where would it be?”

            “Oh my God, I almost lost, you fucking asshole!” Zayn’s finger slid across the phone quickly, “check the fucking bookshelf.”

           “I did!”

           “Harry, I swear to God –oh my God, I fucking lost!” Zayn looked up exasperated, “after I wipe my ass I’m gunna kick yours.”

           Harry huffed, “now, where the fuck is the bible? We have to have one.”

          “Check my closet at the top, Tricia had given me one I think.”      

          “Thanks, asshole.” Harry closed the door behind him.

             “Why do you need a fucking bible anyway!”

             “Louis!”

-

Harry looked at the dusty bible with big eyes. He flipped through the pages quickly, he wasn’t gunna read this whole thing. He hadn’t realized how long the bible actually was, especially when the letters where written in the smallest fucking font he’d ever seen.

He took a deep breath; he surely wasn’t gunna read this whole thing. 

Harry closed his eyes and flipped through some pages, stopping on a random one. He pointed blindly at a scripture and read it, “Acts 18:11,” Harry shook his head, “Damn, how the hell do you even read these tiny ass words? - alright, Paul- that’s a stupid name- Paul,” Harry thought, “well, it’s not that stupid.” He chuckled, “Pauly want a cracker?”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Harry looked up at Zayn, “attempting to find my favorite part of the book.” He huffed, “but I refuse to read this long ass book, so I’m just gunna flip through it.” 

Zayn sat on Harry’s bed in a plop, “which one did you get?”

Harry looked down and read on, “So Paul stayed for a year and a half, teaching them the word of –what the hell.” Harry pouted as Zayn laughed. “Man, I got a shitty one, let me try again.”

“Let me.” Zayn grabbed the book away and flipped through the pages, he pointed and opened his eyes, “Ps-Psl- how the hell do you say this?” 

Zayn pointed at it and Harry read, “uh Ps-Palms. I think it’s Palms.” 

Zayn nodded and went on, “Palms 133:1, how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” Zayn laughed throwing the bible at Harry, “that one’s perfect.” 

Harry shook his head, “that one’s awful. Louis’ favorite one is like -ugh. Damn, I can’t remember. It said like, put your worries on him or something.”

Zayn shook his head in shame and stood up, “I’m taking a nap.” 

Harry laid his head on the bed and picked up the bible, why was it so hard to find a favorite part? He rolled on his back and sighed, he turned to the first page, “In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was formless…” Harry yawned, he was really gunna read through this fucking book for Louis? “Void and darkness…”

-

           “Hey Lou.” Harry smiled, “how are you?”

           Louis opened the door a bit wider, “I’m fine. Yourself?”

           “I’m doing so/so. I’m trying to get- uh, do you want to come outside? Like yesterday or, I don’t know?”

           Louis stared at Harry for a while. Should he? Yesterday was nice; he could do it again.

           Harry was in a big black long sleeve shirt and tight blue jeans with an American flag bandana wrapped around his head. He had a big black book in his hand and he wasn’t wearing any shoes today. Louis felt okay, he felt safe enough to talk to Harry, should he invite him inside?

           “Uh,” Louis looked back in his home, “do you w-want to come in?” Louis watched Harry’s face change, his smiled stretched from ear to ear.

           “You want me to?”

           Louis shrugged, “I- it’s up to you?”

           Harry bit his lip harshly, “okay, I’d love to.” Louis blushed softly and opened the door, he stepped back allowing Harry to enter. Louis closed the door softly and walked behind Harry into his home.

Harry smiled and spun around, “so, do you want to talk here?”

Louis pointed at the two-seated couch, “we can sit.” Harry turned around, grin making his cheeks hurt. He sat down slowly trying to relish the feeling of sitting on Louis’ couch for the first time. 

Louis sat down next to him and pressed his lips together, “you were saying?” 

Harry set his book on his lap, “uh yeah.” He chuckled, “honestly, I’m kind of freaking out that you even offered to let me in. Jesus, this is awesome.” Harry looked around, taking in his surrounds. Louis smiled softly, Harry was strange and it made Louis want to laugh.

He really wasn’t sure why he had asked Harry to come inside, Louis thinks it was because of the dream he had. Harry was in it and Louis woke up at around 3 in the morning sweating with a huge smile on his face. He wanted to see Harry today and even cleaned his apartment in case he came by.

“What have you done all day?”

Louis put his hands on his lap, “I cleaned, and read a bit and that’s it.” 

Harry smiled, tapping on the book, “cool, cool. Uh so,” Harry laughed, “God, I’m still freaking out.” Louis giggled and missed the shocked expression on Harry’s face.

“Y-You holy s-ah! I mean, you just laughed.” 

Louis pressed his lips together smile leaving, “sorry.”

“No.” Harry shook his head, “don’t ever freaking apologize for being happy, man. It’s the best thing to be.” Louis listened carefully; happy was the best thing to be?

“I actually wanted to talk to you about this.” Harry lifted his book in Louis’ face; he read the words ‘HOLY BIBLE’. Harry was reading the bible? 

            “I was trying to find my favorite part-”

            “I was trying to find my favorite part-”

“Scripture?”

Harry laughed and rubbed his curls catching Louis’ eyes. Harry had really curly hair. It looked longer than usual and much thicker. “Yeah, scripture. I read a good amount and let me just start off by saying Eve is a little bitc- a nasty little,” Harry crumpled his hands together, “just a dumb person.” 

Louis blinked a couple of times, “why?”

“Well,” Harry smiled, “she really fucked up paradise, but you gotta blame Adam too. He’s an idiot as well.” Louis couldn’t hold back the laugh that shot out of him. He covered his mouth, soft laughter bouncing off the walls in his home. Harry’s way of explaining things were so different, it made Louis want to laugh.

When Louis stopped, Harry had a big smile on his face, it kind of scared him. “I’-I’m so sorry.” Louis cleared his throat, “sorry.” 

Harry shook his head, smile still there. “No, I told you. Stop apologizing. It’s not necessary.” Harry opened the book, trying to hide his smile, “Um, well- damn, you’re like…” Harry thought for a while, “You’re like a little piece of freaking candy.”

Louis furrowed his eyes brows, “what?”

Harry snapped his fingers, “yeah, like peanut M&M’s!” Louis felt confused, why was he being compared to candy? What did that mean?

“I fuc-fudging love peanut M&M’s.” Harry rubbed his stomach, “They are the best, truthfully.” Louis fiddled with his fingers, he didn’t understand why he was being compared to a candy and it kind of bugged him.

“Can I call you that?” Louis looked at Harry; confusion covered his features. “Like, peanut? Can I call you that for a nickname?” Louis blushed, peanut? Why peanut?

“Uh, I don’t kno-know.” Louis adjusted his glasses, “I don’t like candy. Also, I already have a name.”

“Yeah, but it’s a nickname. Like Lou, or Loubear.” Harry smiled, “but since you remind me of peanut M&M’s, can I call you peanut? It’s cool if you say no.” 

Louis shrugged, it was fine but he still didn’t like being called a piece of candy. “If you want.”

           Harry nodded with a smile, “okay, awesome… peanut.” He laughed by himself then stopped, “oh. Sorry, uh, well I read a good amount and I can’t find my favorite part- I mean scripture. Sorry.”

            “Don’t apologize.” Louis touched the bible with gentle fingers, “may I see it?” Harry nodded, slowly handing it over. Louis smiled and opened the book, it was a very nice bible, a bit dusty but nice. He looked up, “when I want something or need something I flip through the pages and point-“

             “Oh! I did that!”

             Louis was a tad bit surprised. He always did that, the fact that Harry did it was a little unexpected. “Okay, what happened?”

Harry shrugged, “I got a bad one.” 

Louis passed the bible back, “you need to think hard on what you are looking for, then flip.” 

Harry looked at the book and took a big breath. Louis analyzed Harry with wary eyes, Louis was anxious. Which one would he get? He watched as Harry’s chest puffed up with air and let it go. He watched as his long fingers stop on a page and point at a group of words. Harry’s eyes fluttered open and he looked down at the verse.

“Okay, here I go. 1 Peter 4:8.” Louis eyes grew, Peter? His favorite verse was in that book. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Harry smiled, “Boom! Love it, I found my favorite!”

            Louis felt scared all of a sudden and he wanted Harry to leave. The scripture was beautiful, he loved it, but it made him feel funny. “It’s awesome because this like describes me perfectly. I fuc-freaking love it.” Harry smiled reading over the verse again, “1 Peter 4:8. Have to remember that.”

            Louis stood quickly, “do you want water?”

             Harry licked his lips, “uh, sure. Thanks.” Louis nodded running off into the kitchen.

            What was going on? Why was Harry in his house? A couple of weeks ago, Louis prayed for Harry to disappear but now he was inviting him into his home? He was speaking to Harry as if he was a friend? Harry was not a friend, Harry was an acquaintance. An annoying one that was supposed to bother Louis.

         Louis filled up two glasses of water and looked at the clear liquid. Was he seriously in Louis’ apartment? He was, he was sitting on his couch.

          “Here you go.”

Harry grabbed the glass and swallowed it down before Louis’ could sit down, “thanks.” Harry went to put the cup on the coffee table that didn’t exist. “Oh sorry, could you put it on that little table?” Louis grabbed it putting it behind him on the side table.

“I actually wanted to ask you something?” 

Louis took a sip of water, “what?”

“Well, Liam is cooking tonight, I’m gunna help. And it’s been a long time since we’ve actually cooked.” Louis felt like he knew where this was going. “And I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come by and have dinner with us? Possibly? I mean if you aren’t busy!” 

Louis set his cup in his lap, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

Harry nodded, slightly disappointed, “the guys really wouldn’t mind, Lou. Seriously, we’ll have like steaks an-”

“I don’t eat meat.”

Harry tilted his head, “pardon? No meat?” 

Louis shook his head, “no.”

“Oh.” Harry scratched his side, “uh, well I could make some salad or something. I don’t mind going to the store.”

“No, it’s fine.” 

Harry pouted, “Please. It’d be really awesome if you could. Really, I can make salad or, like, tofu burgers. I really don’t mind.” Why did Harry want him to go over? If he really thought Louis would go, he was so wrong. Harry was okay and Liam was durable but he just couldn’t. That would be terrible and Harry was willing to waste money for him? He didn’t even know Louis, why wou-

“Louis. Please.” Harry’s face made Louis’ chest skip a beat. He looked sad, Harry never really looked sad. He always had this stupid smile on his face and now it was just a sad frown. He almost looked like he was going to cry. “It will be nice, I promise. You’re always home and I just want you to meet my family. Please.”

           Louis gnawed at his lip, Harry really wanted him to go. “I rather not.”

           Harry let his head fall, “fine.” He looked up with a fake smile Louis could even see through, “it’s cool, uh, I’m gunna head back home.”

           Why was he leaving?

Louis watched as Harry stood off the couch. He let him inside for the first time and he was leaving? What just happened? 

“Well, now you know my favorite part of the bible and I pinky promised to tell you.” Harry bent down and grabbed Louis’ hand almost making him spill his water. He linked pinkies with Louis and kissed Louis’ hand, shocking him.

“Alright, we’re good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“W-why-” Louis could barely breath, “why’d you kiss my –my hand?”

“When you pinky promise you have to when the promise has been fulfilled. If I lied then you get to break my pinky. If you lie, I break yours.” Harry shrugged, “something me and the boys made up. I’ll see you around.” 

Louis’ heart was beating faster than he could think, “Harry.”

Harry turned on his heel slowly, “yeah? I should go.”

“I’ll go.” The words escaped before his brain could process them. Louis was an idiot, and God would certainly punish him.

-

“Hey, don’t eat the carrots! They are for the fucking salad!” 

Niall moaned in pain, “Why do we have to eat salad!” 

Harry hit him with the salad spoon, “you don’t have to eat shit, shut up! It’s for Louis.”

“Liam! Harry hit me!” Niall crossed his arms waiting for Liam to come save him.

“Go away and let me make the food, you asshole.”

“Liam! Harry called me an asshole for no reason!” Niall padded out of the kitchen screaming for Liam. 

Zayn entered and slapped Harry’s ass, “stop bothering Niall.” 

Harry’s jaw fell, “I didn’t do anything!”

“Yeah, well Liam’s not gunna see it that way.” Harry tossed the salad together viciously making some leave the bowl. “Calm down, he’s just coming over.” 

Harry shook his head, “I’m actually not freaking out about him coming over.” He shrugged, “Honestly, I’m worried that this salad is gunna taste like shit, dude.”

Zayn laughed, “It’ll be fine. Can’t believe he’s a veggie.” 

Harry smirked, “if I get him in bed he won’t be one.” 

Zayn smacked Harry’s butt playfully, “Idiot.”

Harry laughed and passed the bowl of greens to Zayn, "here, put this on the table- did Niall bring an extra chair?” Zayn shrugged leaving the kitchen.

Harry walked out of the kitchen bumping into an upset Liam. “Why do you keep fighting with Niall?”

“He was eating my carrots!”

“Oh please, Harry!” Liam walked past him, flipping the steaks that were cooking, “The only orange thing that boy has digested is orange soda, let him eat the carrots!” Harry groaned, walking out to their small table that fit 4 chairs.

“Ni, where is the fifth chair!”

“On the balcony!”

Harry walked to the opened balcony brining a beautiful breeze into the apartment, “why is it outside!” He grabbed the small chair and dragged it to the table. He smiled at salad he made, now all he needed was to pick up Louis.

-

Louis was panicking. He fixed his shirt about twelve times in the mirror. He didn’t know what to wear, Harry told him to wear just normal clothes. He wore his a plain shirt with black pants. 

Louis was completely on edge; he wished he had never said yes! This was ridiculous! He wasn’t supposed to be going over people’s apartments! Louis checked the clock in the kitchen again, “7:46.” Louis chewed his nails until there was none left, did he look okay? Would they think he was weird? He didn’t know what to do! Harry was going to be here soon and Louis just couldn’t relax!

He wiped stray tears that fell from his cheeks; everything would be fi- Louis’ whole body jerked at the knock at his door. He fixed his glasses and opened the door to see Harry in the same clothes from earlier.

“Hey, are you ready?” Louis sighed and touched his pockets, making sure he had his keys. “Y-yes.” 

Harry smiled, “come on then- oh, I like your shirt.”

-

The apartment smelled really good. Louis wasn’t sure what it was but it was a nice woody smell. It smelled like Harry –really, really good. 

The apartment was bigger than his and much livelier. There was a whole wall covered from top to bottom in photos, it was absolutely beautiful. There was a couch and a recliner with a big TV against the opposite wall. The curtains were vibrant tie-dye and it attracted Louis’ eyes. Louis was glad Harry’s home wasn’t weird or scary.

“Zayn, Niall, say hello.” The pair stood up from the couch and gave welcoming smiles, calming Louis a little. 

Niall was the first to wrap his arms around Louis’ stiff form, “hello! It’s great to see you again, Louis!” 

Louis nodded stepping closer to Harry. Zayn waved, thankfully, “hey. It’s good to see you-”

“Louis!” Liam walked out of the hallway with a big smile, “Hi darling.” He hugged Louis softly and quickly. “It’s so great to see you!” Louis nodded shakily.

Harry clapped his hands together, “so, let’s eat! I made salad!”

Zayn wrapped his hands around Liam’s waist and kissed his neck, “and my baby made a delicious dinner.”

Louis stared at the two linked. 

Wait? 

No.

They were gay?

 


	9. Twenty Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

-

Harry laughed cutting into his steak, “okay wait, I got one!”

Zayn rolled his eyes, “no, all your jokes fucking suck.”

Harry pouted, “no! Just listen.” He smiled nudging an uncomfortable Louis. “Okay, so why did the squirrel swim on its back?”

Liam smiled softly, sipping his beer, “why?”

Harry laughed, barely able to get the words out, “alright- sorry, sorry. Because-” Harry kept on laughing, annoying Zayn.

 “Oh my God, see what I mean! The joke’s gunna suck.” Zayn grimaced. Niall laughed with Harry for no reason.

“What’s the joke, idiot!”

Louis watched.

He watched and analyzed.

The group was… strange. They each had such different personalities it was a miracle at how they were friends. 

Zayn was hot headed. He was hard to impress, but he was somewhat funny. Liam was very kind, passive and he liked to indulge in everyone’s words. Niall was loud and laughed at anything. He seemed to love eating, a lot. Harry was… Harry was Harry. Loud, weird, but sweet.

Louis felt like he really didn’t belong.

He looked over at Harry who finally calmed down. “Alright- I’m good. Okay, so it was because,” he chuckled. “Because he wanted to protect his n-n-” Harry laughed holding his stomach.

Zayn groaned leaning his head backwards, “I knew it. He can’t even get the joke out, it’s not funny anymore.” He glared at Harry, throwing a crumpled napkin at him. “Did you hear me? It’s not funny anymore!”

Liam slapped Zayn softly, “leave him be.” Liam’s gaze shifted over to Louis, “how’s your salad?”

Louis held the napkin in his lap tightly, “it’s g-good thank you.”

Harry’s laughing stopped –eventually, and he wiped the tear on the corner of his eye. “Yeah?” He chugged the rest of his beer. “You like it?”

Louis gave a small nod, “yes.”

Niall smiled and stuffed a spoonful of potatoes in his mouth, “so, do you hate meat or something?”

Liam cringed, “Niall, please, chew your food first.”

Niall pouted and swallowed down the lump in his mouth, “sorry. Do you hate meat?”

Louis felt as though the eyes were engulfing him. “I-I am a vegetarian.”

“Oh God.”  
            Louis was confused, “pardon?”

“You’re a veggie?”

Louis shook his head softly, “no, I’m a vegetarian.”

Harry laughed, “Yeah, that’s what veggie means.” Louis nodded, no it didn’t. A veggie was a vegetable?

“So, Louis,” Liam cut the tension, “do you work, or?”

Louis pressed his lips together and played with his fork, “uh- no. I don’t.”

Zayn snorted, “How are you even living here?” He leaned forward, “how long have you been living here?”

Louis was intimidated. “Four years…”

Harry titled his head, “what? You’re twenty-three, right?”

How’d he know?

“Wow, you got here at eighteen?”

Louis nodded; he wanted to leave as the stares grew more intense.

“Wow,” Liam was intrigued. “That’s a long time.”

Zayn squinted at him, “how long has the elevator been broken?”

“What?”

Zayn rolled his eyes as Niall laughed, “the elevator? How long has it been broken?”

 Harry draped his arm around Louis’ chair, “it’s cause Zayn hates taking the stairs. Fucking lazy ass.”

Zayn flicked him off, “last time I checked you weren’t all for it either, asshole.”

Liam put his hand on Zayn’s thigh, calming him, “honestly.” He looked at Louis, “I take care of children.”

Louis looked at Liam for a while.

Liam was a good person, but Liam was… gay.

Why?

                Louis’ eyes flicked down to the hand on Zayn’s leg, that wasn’t right. It was disgusting actually. Louis’ fork picked up some salad. How did he catch gay? How do you catch it? Louis stuck a fork full in his mouth and chewed. It was probably Zayn’s fault.

                    Louis looked over at him. Zayn probably forced him or something. Being gay was almost like a disease, like a bug that went chewing on people. Poor Liam, he didn’t deserve that.

             “Louis?”

                 Louis’ head shot up at Niall. “Y-Yes?”

                  “I was asking if you wanted a beer.”

               “I don’t drink, thank you.”

                “Oh, I see. Part of your veggie lifestyle. I understand.”

                   Liam hushed him, “I’ll start on dessert.” He paused while standing and sighed. “Don’t –kill each other –please.” Zayn followed.  

It was disappointing.

Now Liam could never be a part of God’s life

          He was tainted.

He was gay.

“Lou, wanna sit with me on the balcony?”

Louis nodded quickly, wanting to be anywhere but at that table.

He set the napkin on the messy food covered table and looked at Niall who went on eating. Niall waved Louis away, “it’s cool.” He grinned, “This is normal.” Louis blinked a couple of times and pushed his chair in. Harry motioned him over to the tie dyed curtain.

“Touch it.” Louis looked at the curtain and back at Harry who smiled. “Go on.”

Louis stuck his hand out slowly and rubbed the extremely soft cloth. Wow, it was really soft.

Harry smirked, “nice and soft, huh? Come on.”

Louis followed Harry out onto the breezy balcony. Louis had never used his balcony, ever. He had no reason to; the view was pretty nice though. He looked over the banister at the cars that drove by in the dark.

“Have a seat, friend.” Louis looked at the chair next to him and sat down tentatively.

“T-thanks for the food.” Louis blushed a little pink, “the salad was really good.” And it was, needed some avocado but it was a very good salad.

Harry looked like a ray of light against the nighttime sky, “wow. That’s really kind of you to say. Thank you, seriously.”

Louis smiled softly, “your welcome.”

Harry smirked with a shake of his head; he leaned forward and grabbed the box of cigarettes on the small table in between them.  
            “Do you mind?”

Louis shook his head no. But not because he didn’t mind. It was because he was shocked. Harry smoked?

Harry smoked?

 Wouldn’t Louis have known by now? Harry never smelled like smoke? Why wouldn’t he have noticed!

Harry had the stick between his lips and tried to light it but it wouldn’t. “Lou, do me favor.” Harry scooted off his chair and bent over, “cup your hands together.”

Louis slowly, and hesitantly, cupped them.

Harry put the lighter under Louis’ hands and tried flicking the lighter again. Louis moved his hands away quickly, in fear of getting burned. Harry chuckled, cigarette moving against his lips. “I won’t burn you.” He moved a bit closer, “again please.”

Louis shook his head, hands close to his small body. Harry smirked and took the stick out of his mouth, “I pinky promise I will not burn you.” Harry stuck his pinky out and Louis just stared at it.

“Pinky promise, Lou.” Louis stuck out his smallest finger slowly. Harry wrapped it with his, putting the cigarette back in between his lips. Louis cupped his small hands again, fear eating at him. Harry flicked it again making Louis lick his lips.

Harry pinky promised he wouldn’t burn him-

“There.” Harry sucked on the stick making the tip burn red. He blew the smoke behind him. “See.” He linked his finger with Louis’ and kissed the top of Louis’ tiny hand. Louis took his hand back and folded them awkwardly.

“Pinky promise fulfilled.” Harry sat back in his chair and took another hit. “So, how do you like the family?”

Louis shrugged and scrunched his nose at the smell. “They were nice.”

Harry laid the cigarette on the ashtray letting it burn into the air. “Wanna play twenty questions?”

Louis coughed softly, “what?”

Harry pouted and leaned forward, burning out the cigarette. “If you didn’t like it you should have said something.”

“It was fine-”

“No.” It was rare for Harry to look serious. “It’s not. If you don’t like something then you should say something.”

Louis nodded, “okay.”

 Harry shook his head, “I’m sorry.” He shook his hands, “anyway, wanna play?”

“How?”

“Well, it’s just questions. I ask you one and then you ask me one.” Harry grinned, “It’s for friends who aren’t friends yet.”

Louis’ eye twitched, “okay?”

“Alright, I’ll go first.” Harry tapped his chin. “What’s your favorite TV show?”

Louis bit his lip, “I don’t watch TV.”

Harry twisted his neck, “no?”

“No.”

“Okay, what about when you were younger? What was your favorite show?”

“I didn’t watch much TV.”

Harry rolled his head with a desperate smile, “okay. New question –uh. Oh! What’s your favorite food?”

“Avocado on toast.”

Harry clapped his hands together, “Yay! Okay, is it good?”

Louis nodded, “it’s very good.” He crossed his legs and took in a deep breath.

“Okay, your turn.”

“What?”

“It’s your turn, you ask me a question now.”

Louis thought hard, what should he ask?

“Zayn and Liam, what are they?”

Harry smiled, “human.”

Louis nodded, “but I mean like –together –like…” Louis sighed, “What are they together?”

“Happy.”

          Louis felt like Harry didn’t understand him. “I mean-” Louis made a crumpling motion with his fingers, “like- I- are they?” He smashed his hands together, “together?”

Harry smirked and leaned back in his chair, “like boyfriends?”

Louis smiled slightly, “yeah.”

Harry nodded, “yes. Liam is Zayn’s boyfriend.”

Louis’ eyes fuzzed. “Wh –um- how? Why?”

Harry laughed, “How? Zayn asked Liam, and why? Uh, I guess because he liked him.”

Louis’ fingers jerked, “You know –you’re okay with it?”

Harry was taken back. “Uh yeah, are you?” His eyes showed puzzlement.

 “I- It’s wrong.”

Harry’s eyes grew, “excuse me?”

Louis pressed his lips tightly together, “them, you said you loved God.”

Harry scoffed, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying. What’s wrong?”

Louis shrugged and pointed inside, “them.”

Harry nodded with an annoyed smile, “in what way?”

“They are both men.”

Harry nodded again, “really? How’d you know?”

Louis rolled his eyes; Harry was being sarcastic. “In the bible… it’s wrong, Harry. You being a lover of God… I mean…” Louis sighed, “You would know.”

Harry put his finger on his chin, “oh? I would know? Know what?”

Louis slapped his thighs, “that it’s wrong! Being gay is wrong! It’s nasty and, and just not normal!”

“Shut up.” Louis’ mouth shut closed. Harry licked his lips and rested his elbows on his knees, “wrong? No. People like you, judging people like that, because they like different people, is wrong. Thinking God –our God would judge people for liking the same sex is nasty! Not normal, Louis, are fucking people like you! Congratulations.”

It was dark, but Harry was completely red in the face.

Harry stood up making Louis flinch. “Damn it! Why!” He rolled his fingers through his hair, "Fucking hell! Why did you have to be an asshole?”

Louis’ lips trembled

 Asshole?

“Fuck Louis! You were so cool and we connected –fuck!” Harry leaned over the banister, “but now I see you’re just a judgmental ass prick. You think God thinks gay people are nasty and wrong –what type of stupid shit. What year do you live in?”

“He said so!” Louis wasn’t sure where that came from but he knew one thing, he’d defend his faith to his death.

“Oh!” Harry smiled, “he did? Hm, must have missed that part.”

“Marriage is between a man and woman!”

Harry nodded, “oh, you’re so right even though that book was written a billion fucking years ago!”

Louis stood up, jaw stiff, “it doesn’t matter when it was written!”

“No?” Harry laughed dryly, “That book is a book! A book written by man’s hands!”

“And God’s thoughts!”

“So, you’re telling me that God thinks gay people are gross and wrong?”

“Yes!” Louis stomped his small foot, “gay people are wrong-” Louis flinched back as Harry’s fist rose.

“Oh please don’t. You know what, Louis, maybe your little book was right because you really don’t fucking understand God!” Harry got in Louis’ face, “you don’t understand shit. You think that because you love God, that life is all fucking dandy?” Harry laughed with a scoff, “Oh, you’re so fucking wrong.”

Louis’ whole body shook and he felt a sharp pain deep in his chest.

“You really, like really, need to fucking leave.”

Louis’ lips felt chapped. “Harr –Harry, I’m sorry.” Louis was going to cry.

Harry laughed loud and long into the air. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

Louis shuffled slowly, watching Harry’s every movement. He watched as his face grew into a grin, “I wonder how you’d feel if I told you I was gay?”

Louis shook his head, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

Harry nodded, “yep.” He spread out his arms, “gayest one here.”

Louis ran.

Louis ran past the group at the table.

He ran down the flight of stairs.

Louis ran outside the front doors.

Louis ran all the way down the street.

          Once he made it down the block, Louis cried.

He should have never gone! He should have never let Harry into his life! He should have never met Harry!

Louis sat on a bus bench and cried into his hands. For once, he wasn’t worried about whether someone was around, or if someone was watching him. He did nothing wrong. Louis knew being gay wasn’t right. Louis knew he wasn’t wrong…

“Le-Leviticus 20:13,” He held his body tight. “W-when man lies with m-man both have do-done a detestable thing-”

Louis sobbed softly and held onto the cross around his neck. He was right; he had to be right. Louis looked down at his palms.

“What are Zayn and Liam together?”

“Happy.”

They were happy?

How were they happy?

Louis felt the harsh breeze fly past him, what was there to be happy about? Louis looked up quickly at the couple walking by, hand in hand. Man and women, that was right. Louis watched them the whole way. He put his head back down.

Harry

           Harry was gay?

No, maybe he – no!

Harry was gay! It made it feel like bugs were on Louis’ body. He was gay and Louis had no idea.

            But it didn’t bother him, shouldn’t it?

Harry was still Harry but-

“… you really don’t fucking understand God”

Louis didn’t understand God

\- But no! He did understand God, but…

He pulled on his hair, tears flowing past his glasses. What was going on! Liam was good, Zayn was good, but together they were wrong? Did that even make sense? Two good people could be wrong?

All of a sudden Louis wanted to talk to Harry again. He wanted him to explain why being gay wasn’t wrong. He wanted him to explain to him why Harry was gay. He wanted… he wanted another hug.

But was gay passable? Louis held his body tightly, what was he going to do? Harry was good; he was a really good person. Louis tried to ignore that but he couldn’t. Harry was nice, and he was a little funny, in a weird way. He made Louis think and he made Louis smile sometimes.

“Why did you have to be an asshole?”

Louis was an asshole? He bit his lip. Was he an asshole? Didn’t being an asshole mean you were mean? Was Louis a mean person? Louis was okay, wasn’t he?

He stood up and wiped his wet nose. He couldn’t believe he was actually out; Louis had never been out this late. He never really stayed up this late either so this was different.

He stepped lightly on the ground and padded back to the apartment building.

-

Six days.

 It had been six days since Louis last saw Harry. Every day was worse than the next and Louis truly had no idea why.

Before Harry, life was fine, God was his main priority. His biggest worry was whether he brushed his hair or not. Now… now, his biggest worry was Harry. Louis thinks its cause Harry’s the devil in human form.

At around one to two in the afternoon Louis would wait for a knock. Every single day he waited for a knock that never came. The first day was fine, at around one Louis was a bit surprised when no one came to the door, but it was good. He was able to read up on his books and eat lunch in peace.

Day two was boring, he sat in the living room doing absolutely nothing but waiting for Harry, he didn’t come.

By day four, Louis was sitting in front of the door, waiting. At night he’d pray for Harry to come by, it was silent prayers, ones that he was embarrassed by. He really wanted to see Harry, he had so much time to think and he just wanted to talk to him.

When Louis got home that night he stayed up reading every scripture he knew on homosexuality and he was sure that it was wrong! It was completely wrong, but maybe the bible was wrong? It says to kill both males if they sleep together, but now no one would ever do something like that. No one would ever do it because it’s wrong and because it’s not normal to kill someone. It made Louis think hard, times were always changing and maybe God’s views on certain things had changed.

When Louis had asked God for help. He asked whether it was wrong or not. Louis flipped blindly through his bible and stopped on a verse. He got one that terrified him- no, horrified him to his core. Louis got Harry’s favorite scripture.

“1 Peter 4:8. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

That night he had thrown up every piece of salad in his stomach. When he went to bed it was past one o’clock and the same time when he woke up. Louis’ schedule had changed because of Harry. He’d sometimes forget to pray, sometimes forget to read and sometimes forget to brush his hair.

But he didn’t forget Harry’s words; he remembered every single one.

Louis had been back and forth at the library throughout the six days. Funny enough, he didn’t bump into Harry once. Not once. He’d looked up so many references on why homosexuality was wrong but most of the time the people really didn’t know what they were talking about, or were for homosexuality. Louis read articles on things he had never known. He read things that opened his small blue eyes.

Today was day seven.

It was already 6 o’clock with no sign of Harry. He had prayed this morning that Harry would come by. Louis kind of hated himself, because all he had to do was walk. Walk down the hall and apologize –but he couldn’t. Louis couldn’t do that because… because Louis was a… Louis was an asshole.

Today he was going to the store to pick up some food. Since that day Louis had been eating way too much for his own good. He hadn’t realized how fast everything ran out. But if he was honest, all he wanted was some peanut M&M’s.

-

Louis walked back to his house, small grocery bag in hand. He tried to ignore the biting in his stomach but it was hard. He had gone to the store focused on getting food, food to eat. Louis went into the store, head held high for once, and went to the candy aisle. He picked up a small bag of peanut M&M’s, paid and left. In his bag was a single bag of peanut M&M’s… Louis didn’t even like candy!

He sighed walking up the stairs that he really didn’t feel like walking up. He dragged his body up the steps, groaning when there was one more flight. Louis suddenly hated his mouth and wished to rip it out because four familiar faces turned around and stared right at him.

“Hello Louis.” Liam smiled turning around on the steps.

          Louis stayed still, was this real?

“How are you?”

 Louis took a deep breath and nodded, “I’m okay. How are you?”

Liam smiled softly, the same smile Louis remembered. “I’m great.”

-

Louis stood awkwardly in the middle of the hallway with the four boys. “So, whatcha doing?”

Louis lifted up his bag, “I went to the store.”

Niall titled his head at the white bag, “are those M&M’s? Yum.”

Harry shook his head, “you like them now?”

Louis blushed and gave a tiny nod, “yes.” Louis felt happy, he felt the happiest he’s ever felt. Harry spoke to him! He actually spoke to Louis! Maybe now they could talk some more!

“Alright, we just got back from a birthday party and I’m tired as shit.” Zayn put up a quick peace sign, “I’m out. Nice seeing you.”

He looked at Liam who nodded, “nice seeing you, Louis.” He smiled, “see you around.”

Zayn wrapped his arm around Liam’s lower half and walked to their door leaving Niall and Harry. Harry yawned, “Yeah, I’m leaving too. Bye.” He turned around, camera around his neck and followed Zayn and Liam’s footsteps.

“Harry!” Louis held his bag tightly.

He turned around with a raised brow, “what?”

“I-It was nice seeing you.” Louis wanted to cry because it really was. Harry didn’t smile or smirk he just held a thumbs up and walked away. Niall and Louis were left.

Niall smiled and patted his shoulder, “you good?”

He shook his head, “I-is he m-mad?”

Niall looked back at Harry who was already gone. “Hmm, a little. More disappointed than anything.” Niall looked back at the stairs, “do you wanna go for a walk?”

Louis was startled by the request, “what?”

“Would you like to go on a walk with me?” Niall laughed, “I know I’m not Harry-“

“Yes.”

-

“Talk to me, Louis. What’s your life like?” Niall kicked a rock as they walked. Louis shrugged, he was sure Niall wouldn’t understand him.

“It’s good.”

Niall nodded, “cool. So is mine.” Niall stuffed his hands in his pockets, “are you mad at Harry?”

Louis stopped and shook his head quickly, “no! Not at all! Does he think that?”

 Niall smiled and leaned on the fence behind him, “A little, but he doesn’t really care.” Niall chuckled, “Harry rarely gets mad these days, but you did it.”

Louis pouted, “I’m so sorry.”

Niall waved him away, “please, don’t apologize. You had an opinion and you said it.” He shrugged, “was it a nice one? Eh, not really, but what can we do? Zayn and Liam have gotten used to it.”

Louis’ hand shot to his mouth, “t-they he-he-heard me?”

Niall nodded, “of course. We all did, you guys were screaming.”

Oh.

          That hurt, he didn’t know they had heard. They weren’t supposed to hear him! But Liam was so nice to him just now and Zayn didn’t seem angry.

“But it’s fine because, like I said, they are used to it. Harry on the other hand is very… defensive about the subject.”

“B-because he is?”

Niall shook his head no, “more for Liam and Zayn. Harry’s been gay for as long as I could remember so he’s definitely used to it, people saying mean shit and stuff. Zayn and Liam had hooked up in our senior year of high school, Liam was already gay, Zayn wasn’t.” Niall laughed, “it’s all complicated-”

“No!” Louis sighed, “Explain, Harry probably won’t, so please.”

Niall stared at Louis for a while, “alright.”

He carefully sat on the sidewalk, “have a seat.”

Louis scrunched his nose –on the floor? The public walkway?

He sat down slowly, bag in hand.

“Pop those babies open and let’s talk.”

-

“So, Zayn didn’t turn Liam gay?”

Niall laughed, “No one can turn you gay, man.” He stuffed an M&M in his mouth, “you chose who you like. Zayn was just drooling over Liam all the time and he tried to fight it. That’s a mistake because it confuses you mentally. Not healthy.”

“Why?”

“Because fighting your feelings is like fighting against the world, you’re not gunna win.” Niall chuckled, “Harry has always been very… particular. Harry’s a big lover.” Louis smiled softly, munching on a piece of candy; Harry was very loving.

“Everyone is attracted to that boy, it’s so strange.” Niall smiled looking Louis in the eye, “when he likes something, or someone, he will not stop until he gets it or them.”

Louis rolled the M&M in his hand, “do you believe in God?”

Niall shrugged with a nod, “Yeah.”

“Do you love God?”

Niall nodded, “yeah, him and I are friends.”      

“Friends?”

“Friends.” Niall laughed, “We are friends. He’s helped me through some tough shit.”

“What?”

Niall shrugged, “My mom and stuff.”

 Louis nodded, “how’d he help?”

“He gave me a new family.”

Louis blinked a couple of times.

“He gave me new people to meet. He can’t help us directly so he helps us in other ways. Puts people in our lives to help us, but we gotta be careful because those people may try to hurt us.” Niall smiled, “but I’m happy now.”

“And how do you return the thanks?” Louis ate the melting M&M, “how do you thank God back?”

Niall leaned his head back against the metal fence, “I do well in life. I treat people with kindness and love everything and everyone. I use what he gives me in a good way, I don’t take advantage of the things I get in life.” He shrugged, “I think that’s what he wants from us. To use what he gave us to benefit others and ourselves.”


	10. Pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

“Harry, I didn’t want to say anything,” Liam paused, “But you were being a little rude.”

“You shouldn’t have said anything then.” The photographer set his camera on the small dining table.

Zayn cleared his throat walking past the two. “Watch it.”

Harry sighed, “He’s rude. I didn’t do anything.”

 Liam set down the goodie-bags in his hand. “Harry you can’t just act like that because someone doesn’t agree with you.” He sat down, “Harry, are you listening?”

Harry rolled his eyes, “yep.”

Liam exhaled, “Haz.”

Harry closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

“Harry.”

“What, Liam? Damn!” Harry stood up, “What do you want me to do?”

Liam huffed, “well don’t be an ass.”

“He’s the ass! Who does he think he is talking about you guys like you’re some type of fucking sickness?”

“Harry! You hardly know the boy! Before you start jumping to conclusions how about you fucking talk to him?” Liam stood up. “Haz, you already know Louis is a bit different. Maybe he just needs you to explain stuff to him. You said he didn’t know what he was talking about, right? Explain it then.” Liam shoved him when Harry turned a blind eye. “Quit being a dick. Every night, all fucking day, all you do is complain! Complain about why Louis’s an asshole and why Louis is rude! Jesus Christ, Haz, just realize that you’re obsessed with the boy and get over it!”

Harry pulled on his hair when Liam slammed his bedroom door.

He picked up his camera, inspecting it.

Harry wasn’t obsessed; he was overly obsessed. He couldn’t get the man out of his head. He wanted to walk over there every single day. In six days Harry hadn’t bumped into Louis once.

Louis looked so lovely. His hair was all messy, his glasses laid on the bridge of his nose.

It was lovely, absolutely lovely.

 His chest hurt.

Thinking about Louis made his chest pound and it hurt- it burned.

Harry looked up at the ceiling, what was he doing now? Probably still talking to Niall. Harry kicked his legs. Why did Louis have to say all that crap! Everything would have been fine; everything was going good!

But Louis!

Louis!

Louis!

Harry covered his face; Louis was torturing him! He was being so kind and so fucking cute.

Harry muffle screamed into his hands. And he bought peanut M&M’s! He had Harry’s favorite candy!

He slowly laid on the floor in a heap. Harry held his heart, oh how it hurt.

“Harry, what are you doing on the floor?” Zayn stepped over Harry’s legs, “if you’re meditating, go outside, I wanna watch TV.” Zayn slumped onto the recliner and looked around for the remote.

“Zayn?”

“What?” He kept looking for the control, “fuck. It’s by the TV- Harry, pass me the remote.”

Harry groaned, sitting up reaching for the object. “Zayn, what do I do about Louis?”

Zayn pulled the control from Harry’s hands and flicked the TV on.

 “I don’t know, do what Liam said.”

Harry crawled onto the couch, “Liam wants me to do the right thing! What would you do?”

Zayn shrugged looking through channels, “I’d just move on.”

Harry rolled back onto the floor, “no! Zayn, come on! You didn’t move on with Liam! Stop being a prick.”

Zayn shushed Harry, stopping on a movie, “I’m watching TV.”

“Zayn! I won’t stop complaining.”

Zayn lifted the feet of the recliner, “go talk to him tomorrow.” Harry opened his mouth. “Shut up, I told you what to do. Go away.”

-

“Home!”

Harry stopped putting his pictures in the frames. “Room!”

Niall walked into Harry’s room kicking his shoes into the closet. “Ni, What the fuck!” Harry threw his hands up, “if you’re gunna use my closet be clean about it!”

          Niall shrugged, sitting on the mini couch in Harry’s room, “so, Louis doesn’t hate you.”

Harry quickly sat on the floor in front of him. “What? You were talking with him?”

“Yep.”

“Well, what’d he say?”

Niall scratched his arm, “he’s all confused, Haz.”

 “What do you mean?”

“Dude, he thinks you can turn someone gay? I think you should like talk to him ASAP.”

Harry bit his lip and played with the carpet, “what else happened?”

“We shared M&M’s and we talked about Zayn and Liam and stuff.” Niall yawned, “He’s -I don’t know, man. He’s like- he’s just confused.” Niall stood up walking past Harry, “He needs someone.” Niall pushed all the frames to the end of the bed.

Harry stared in awe, “what the fuck, Niall!”

Niall waved, slipping under the comforter, “sh, tired.”

Harry grabbed his pictures and frames before they fell off the bed, “you fucking asshole.” Harry crossed his arms when Niall said nothing. “Niall!”

-

Harry was kind of- well, a lot freaking out. It was about to be one and he wanted to see Louis. He said he would, he’d never been shy before. Harry really didn’t know what was going on. His stomach hurt and he wanted to punch the wall at the same time. His blood pressure was through the roof and nothing in his brain was processing correctly.

Harry walked around the apartment, smoked a whole cigarette, something he rarely does. He brushed his teeth, cleaned his room, and meditated for ten minutes and now he sat.

He sat on the white carpet and questioned going over. He didn’t want to see Louis because he still felt a bit upset, but he shouldn’t. Liam was right; you can’t get mad over someone’s opinion. Harry sighed, folding his legs, what should he do? He was stuck with a problem.

Harry’s eyes twitched softly, a big problem.

“When I want something or need something I flip through the pages and point at something…”

Harry got up quickly and ran to his dresser. He threw out all his clothes and took out the bible. He sat back on the floor and huffed. This probably wouldn’t work but he would try any way because it worked for Louis.

He closed his eyes and flipped through the thin pages. He stopped, pointed, and then opened his eyes. Harry took a deep breath before reading.

“1 Chor-Chorinth-” Harry sucked his teeth, “What is with all these names, man? 1 Chorin –oh whatever!” He huffed, “Love is patient… love is kind, it is not jealous, it does not boast, it is not proud…”

-

“…Or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, and endures all things.” Louis sighed closing his bible. Today was a bad day, Louis had nothing to eat for lunch but he didn’t want to go out either.

But then came the knock.

Louis jumped off his bed and ran to the door, slipping in the process. He hissed, rubbing his knee, and stood up. “Uh- who is-”

“Harry.”

Louis felt goose bumps crawl up his spine.

Harry

          Louis wiped his eyes and fixed his glasses; Harry was at his door.

Louis unlocked the door and straightened his clothes. He opened the door wide, “Harry.”

The boy at his door gave a small wave, “uh, hey, Lou.”

Louis pressed his lips together, “Hi Harry.”

Harry smiled shaking his head, “how are-”

“Come in.” Louis’ hands shook as he held on to doorknob, “please, come in.”

-

“So, uh, how are you?”

Louis handed Harry a glass of water and sat down, “I’m okay. How are you?”

Harry swallowed down all the water before he could answer, “I’m great, thanks.” He handed Louis the cup and Louis set it down.

He nodded, “that’s good.” Louis blinked a couple of times, “Harry… I’m so-”

“Don’t.”

“But-”

“Nope.” Harry shook his head, “you were right, I mean not really, but you had the right to voice your opinion so I’m sorry.”

Louis played with his fingers, “Yes… I know, but I shouldn’t have said all that. I’m very sorry.”

Harry nodded with a shrug, “It’s fine.”

Louis chewed his lip, “Harry?”

“Hm?”

“Uh- can you… explain?”

Harry licked his lips and leaned back, “explain what?”

Louis folded his small body in the corner of the couch, “t –you being- I mean,” He sighed. “Being gay. Why do you think being gay is…okay?”

Harry looked a Louis with sharp eyes, “first tell me why you think it isn’t.”

Louis looked down at his hands, “because God says it is wrong.”

Harry nodded, “okay. Well,” Harry rubbed his lips, “I think things change and views change.”

Louis listened, he needed to listen, and he wanted to listen.

“Well, I’m gay. Does that bother you?”

          Louis swallowed away the spit in his mouth, “I-I don’t think so…”

Harry snickered, “what does that mean?”

Louis’ lips wobbled, “I don’t know. You’re still nice and-”

“Exactly!” Harry shook his finger, “why does being gay make someone a bad person?” Louis didn’t answer. “Because it doesn’t. It just makes them gay. It means they like the same sex.” Harry scratched his head, “Liam is nice, is he not?”

“He is.”

“Okay, he’s done nothing wrong to you, so why should you hate him?”

“I- I shouldn’t.”

Harry smiled softly, “being gay or transgender, or anything, is not wrong. We as humans make it wrong.” He leaned forward; his voice was deep. “Everyone is a human being. We make people feel bad for being something that they can’t change.”

Harry could be a spokesperson.

“We do that. And you know what that does for people?” Harry tilted his head, “absolutely nothing. It doesn’t do anything but make people hate themselves. Can you even fathom that shit? Why should we as people make other people feel inferior?”

          Louis shook his head quickly, “we shouldn’t.”

“Yes.” Harry smiled wide, “We shouldn’t because we don’t have the right. No one can tell you who you are or how you should be. If God gave us one thing it’s free will; we are allowed to do as we please, not as what pleases others.”

Louis clenched his fist, Harry was right. The boy was right and Louis felt like he was having an epiphany.

                   “If you’re gay, who the fuck cares! If you’re straight, who the fuck cares! What should matter is who you are.” Harry stuck his finger on Louis’ chest. “Who you are, not who they make you as. If you are kind and good and you want to help people then yes, you are right. You need to do things with whole heart and love everyone and everything.” Harry pointed at the floor and the couch. “Love the ground, love your couch! Take time to love things and admire things. Don’t worry about who people prefer or who people fuck.”

Louis’ blushed.

                Harry’s hand landed softly on Louis’ cheek, “I think God… I think He loves us. Maybe not some of the things we do, but I think he loves us.” Harry chuckled, “if I kill someone, do you really think God’s gunna say, ‘oh, Harry, why’d you have to be gay. This wouldn’t have happened if you were straight.’?”

          Harry snorted and rubbed his hands through Louis’ soft hair, “we are human beings that are always going to like different things. You’re a veggie and I love meat, I don’t hate you because you don’t like what I do.”

Louis’ brain was running and it was running fast.

Harry was like… he was scary. He always knew what to say, he always knew how to convince Louis and it was scary. Harry’s hand moved off of Louis’ head and he felt cold. Harry was strange and he did strange things but he was a person. He was a good person and Louis couldn’t hate him if he wanted to. Harry was odd but he was brilliant.

“B –but the bible isn’t wrong… right?”

Harry smirked with a shrug, “you believe what you want. Remember, the bible is filled with principles, not rules. I think back then it was wrong to be with guys because He needed people to have more babies and stuff. I don’t know, I’m not sure of this stuff, but I think that he understands love and he is an accepting God. People always have a contorted image of God and it’s sad that he’s put as an asshole.”

Harry laughed, “People don’t even know Him and they are ready to think that he’s mean and doesn’t let anyone do anything. Louis, God is love and love…” Harry smiled putting his hand on Louis’ small leg. “Love covers a multitude of sins.”

Louis’ heart soared.

Harry remembered the scripture.

He actually remembered!

Louis smiled, softly biting his lip. “I-I want to apologize to Liam and Zayn…”

Harry slapped Louis’ thigh tenderly, “Liam understands and so does Zayn. You don-”

“No!” Louis lowered his voice, “I want to.”

Harry smiled, “well, they’re at work, you could come with me to pick them up later?”

Louis brought his hands to his stomach as it growled. “Oh, I don’t know. I –I have to go to the store for food.”

“I can take you, or,” Harry scooted forward. “We could possibly go out for lunch? My treat?” Louis’ breath sped up. Harry wanted to have lunch with him? But- where would they go –Louis could pay!

Harry stood up, startling the boy, “come on! It’ll be fun! We can catch up and stuff and then we’ll pick up Liam!” Harry checked his pockets for his wallet and phone. “Look, I’m all-ready!”

Louis was shaking. “What –do I wear?”

Harry shook Louis by the shoulders, “who cares what you wear!” He laughed, “Come on! It’ll be spontaneous! Let’s go!”

-

“Have you ever been here?”

Louis shook his head, reading the big ‘Pizzeria’ sign. Harry opened the door and gestured Louis inside. Louis felt uncomfortable. He’d never gone out for lunch in his life of living alone and he really didn’t eat pizza either.

“Josh!” Louis jumped at Harry’s scream. He looked around as the small amount of people inside stared.

“Harry!” The man behind the counter jogged out, hugging Harry tightly. “Yo! How are you, man?”

Harry smiled, “great, great, thank you.”

Josh smiled patting Harry’s back. Harry crossed his arms, “you weren’t at Dani’s party?”

Josh lifted his arms, “got to make a living.”

“True. –Oh!” Harry grabbed an awkward Louis and pulled him next to his side. “Josh, this is Louis. Louis, this is Josh.”

Josh stuck his hand out and Louis stared at the glove for a long time.

“Oh shit,” Josh laughed taking the clear glove off, “my bad.”

Louis’ small hand extended slowly, shaking the stranger’s.

Josh smiled, “nice to meet you, Louis. Are you guys here for food?”

“Yes.” Harry smiled, “we are. Could we get- Peanut, do you want a personal pizza or like a medium one to share?”

Louis blushed at the ridiculous nickname. “I –I don’t know?”

Harry nodded, “alright, let me a medium pizza –cheese?”

Louis licked his lips, he was so hungry and the smell wasn’t helping. “Sure.”

“Wait, he’s a veggie. Let me get half vegetarian and half meat lovers.”

Josh smiled, “that took long.” He laughed, “Grab a seat –want something to drink?”

“Want lemonade, Lou?”

“Okay.”

“Lemonade and coke.” Harry looked around, “where do you wanna sit?”

Louis looked around the small restaurant, “I don’t know.”

Harry smiled, dragging Louis over to a small booth. He took a seat as Louis slid into the other side. Harry kicked his legs excitedly, “I’m so happy we’re friends again.”

Louis giggled softly, holding onto his cross body. Harry looked at the bag with a smile, “you can take it off, no one’s gunna take it.”

Louis looked at his bag and shook his head. “It’s okay.”

 “Come on! Take it off!” Harry kicked Louis’ leg playfully, “take it off.” Louis bit his lip, sliding the bag off his shoulder and setting it on the seat.

“One lemonade, and one coke.” Josh put the large cups down and set down two straws, “your pizza is being made, do you guys want bread? We just took it out.”

“Yes.” Harry groaned rubbing his stomach, “starving, thank you.” Josh smiled walking away from the two.

Harry looked at Louis and put his head in his hands, “so, how was it without me?”

Louis took his straw out of the paper and put it in his drink, “quiet.”

          Harry laughed aloud, copying Louis and taking a big sip, “that’s actually really funny.”

Louis chuckled softly. Harry couldn’t take his eyes off the boy; it had been so long.

“So, let’s uh- I mean if you want to finish the game of 20 questions?”

Louis stopped drinking, “sure.”

Harry cleared his throat, “I think it was my turn. Okay, what’s your favorite color?”

Louis thought for a moment, he never really had a favorite color.

“Red?”

“Red? That’s cool, mine is orange.”

Louis nodded and played with the paper from his straw, “who do you -”

“Garlic bread.” Josh smiled putting the steaming bread on the table, “enjoy.”

Harry smiled grabbing one, “thanks, man.”

“My pleasure Haz, Louis.”

Louis smiled softly, grabbing one. Harry stuffed the loaf in his mouth, “this bread is fucking incredible!”

Louis ripped the bread and sniffed at it lightly. He stuck a piece in his mouth making his whole body feel warm. Harry smirked, “amazing right?” he grabbed another piece, “so, go on with your question.”

Louis chewed on another piece before continuing. “Who do you look up to?”

Harry tapped his chin, “tough questions, hm, I like that. Okay, I look up to Martin Luther King, Annie Liebovitz, Kat Von D, and Bob Marley. Hm, that’s a lot of people.”

Louis nodded, “who is Bob Marley, Annie Liebovitz and, Kat?”

Harry lifted an eyebrow “excuse me?”

“I’ve never heard of them?” Louis felt embarrassed, “are they famous?”

 Harry drank some of his soda, “well, yeah!” he laughed. “Holy shit, you’ve never heard of them? Really?”

 Louis shook his head, “I’m sorry-”

“Please don’t apologize, peanut.” Harry grabbed another piece of bread; “I love talking about them so it’s cool. Well, Annie is a famous photographer, she’s freaking amazing. Her photos are unique and always shot so well.” Harry smiled wide, “I’d love to just study her. The reason being, because I love photography.” Harry paused, “it’s so free. Is it not amazing how you can capture an image and keep it forever?”

Louis nodded with a smile, “the way you put it…”

 Harry bit his bottom lip, “it’s cause it’s crazy to me. To catch a smile that will never go away, how nice, right? It’s like you have power, you’re freezing time.”

Louis really liked Harry’s explanations; they were fascinating.

“Ms. Von D is a tattoo artist. She’s flawless and she can do a mean tattoo. When I get the money, I promised myself I’d open up my own tattoo shop here.” Harry smiled, “and I will, watch. –Bob Marley –what!” Harry raised his arms, “Bob Marley is the greatest reggae singer that ever lived!”

He laughed, “he was incredible, Lou. One day you have to come over. I have every CD by him, even the medleys.” Louis nodded even though he had no idea what Harry was talking about.

“Okay, my turn. Where do you work- wait, where did you work? Because you don’t work, right?”

Louis nodded, “I’ve-” He coughed, “I’ve never worked.”

Harry’s eyes grew, “What?”

Louis blushed deeply, “I’ve never worked before.”

“Seriously?” Harry looked really confused. “I don’t understand. How are you living? Do you get money from the government?”

Louis shook his head, “no. My parents.”

Harry still looked confused “wait. So, you are twenty-three and you’ve never worked?”

“Never.”

“That’s terrible!” Harry drank the rest of his soda, “Louis! You have to work! You can’t live off your parents.”

 Louis looked into his lemonade, “I know.”

Harry leaned back, “they have money then?”

“Yes.”

Harry shook his head, “Jeez, and you moved in by yourself at 18? They’ve been giving you money for five years.” Louis stuffed some bread in his mouth; he didn’t want to talk about this anymore. “Louis, come on. You can’t do that. Don’t you want to be able to do things for yourself?”

Louis nodded slowly, “I j-just cant.”

Harry twisted his head, “why not?”

Louis shrugged, “I just cant.”

“No, you can. You just don’t want to.” Louis felt like crying, he didn’t want to be around Harry anymore. “Lou, look at me, babe.” Louis’ eyes stayed on his drink. “Louis!” Harry grabbed Louis’ chin making him look. “Don’t cry.”

Louis closed his eyes and moved his head away. He didn’t understand why Harry was screaming at him. Louis felt a body slide in next to him. He moved away as Harry got closer. Big arms wrapped Louis in an embrace, “calm down. I’m sorry.” Louis allowed Harry to hold him, it was okay. It felt really nice.

“Shh, everything’s good, okay?” Harry let go, “I didn’t mean to get all crazy on you. I’m just trying to help you.” Louis nodded, wiping his eyes. The booth seat felt smaller now that Harry was next to him but it wasn’t bad. It felt kind of warm.

Harry sighed fixing his messy curls, “tell me why you can’t work.”

Louis licked his chapped lips, “n-no one would hire me.”

Harry smirked, “you think so?”

Louis looked up at him with a frown, “yes.”

“Why?”

“Cause I get scared and I panic- a lot.”

Harry nibbled his inner cheek, “well there are a lot of jobs out there. Being scared is normal and panicking is…eh, it’s complicated. I understand, peanut. But look at you now!” Harry beamed, “before you’d run away from me, look.” He spread his arms out, “Louis, you’re sitting next to me having lunch, did you see this ever happening?”

Harry was right, he was very right. Louis wasn’t even sure how he was actually with Harry right now. “Things change, Lou,” Harry shrugged, “things are constantly changing.”

“One medium pizza. Half veggie, half meat lovers.” Josh winked at Harry and set the big circle on the table. He put down two glass plates and grabbed Harry’s empty glass, “it’s hot, so be careful. I will get you a refill. Enjoy.”

“Thanks Josh!” Harry smiled big at the delicious looking pizza. He pulled a slice and set it on his plate. “Want me to get yours? It is pretty hot.” Louis nodded and sat straight, wiping his slightly wet eyes. Harry pulled a vegetable side out and slid it onto Louis’ plate.

“Can I stay on this side?”

Louis nodded and looked down at his pizza. He grabbed his napkin, which had a fork and knife. Harry laughed, picking up his slice, “what the fuck are you doing?” Harry folded his pizza in half and took a big bite with an open mouth, “Shit, it’s hot.” He chewed and looked at Louis, “who eats pizza with a knife and fork, pick that shit up.”

Louis set down his utensils and picked up the slice slowly, he set it down quickly.

“It’s too hot.”

Harry chuckled grabbing Louis’ slice and folding it, “pizza is never too hot.” He put it to Louis’ lips, “open up.” Louis felt self-conscious; Harry was feeding him. He wasn’t a baby, he could feed himself. But Louis tried ignoring that part of his brain. He opened his mouth uncomfortably and took a bite. He tossed the pizza around his tongue as it burned him. Harry laughed, taking another bite of his; he spoke with a full mouth.

“Yep, just roll it, it –It’ll,” He swallowed, “it’ll cool down.” Louis chewed and swallowed.

It was really good.

He looked down at the big slice and took another bite. He rolled it around in his mouth, waiting for it to cool.

Harry smiled scarfing down his slice, “is it good?” Louis nodded, drinking some of his lemonade.

“Here is your soda, Haz.”

“Thanks.”

The waiter smiled and looked at Louis, “how is it?”

Louis covered his mouth and gave a small thumbs up.

Josh smiled, “so, are you guys like –together?” Louis choked on his food and Harry had to pat his back. He laughed as Louis continued choking.

“No, man, we’re just friends.”

“Oh, sorry!” Josh gave Harry a funny look before waddling away.

Did it look like Louis and Harry were dating because they weren’t. They were friends? Why would he say that? Louis wasn’t gay, Harry was but why- maybe because he thinks –no.

“Peanut, you okay?”

Louis coughed a bit and nodded, “y-yes. Thank you.”

Harry laughed grabbing a slice of the veggie pizza, “you promise it’s good? I’m not a vegetable person.”

 Louis took some more sips, “yes, it’s very good.”

“If I take a bite, will you take a bite of the meat one?”

 Louis shook his head no. Harry chuckled, “okay.” He folded the pizza in half and took a nice bite. He twisted his head, chewing, “It’s okay. Meat’s better, but it’s not terrible.” Harry took another bite, “eh, I like it.” Louis smiled and looked at the meat lover slice.

He never had a big problem with meat; it’s just that he preferred not to eat it. It wasn’t very healthy and he didn’t like blood very much.

He timidly picked up the slice and put it on top of his other pizza. Harry looked at him with a big grin, “you gunna do it?”

Louis shrugged, picking the heavy piece back up, “I guess…” Harry watched Louis with excited eyes. He took a small bite and set the slice down. He chewed it with a disgusted face.

Harry laughed and picked up a napkin, he put it to Louis’ mouth. “Spit it out.” Louis shook his head until Harry slapped his leg. “No. You don’t like it, Louis, spit it out.” Louis spit out the awful piece and drank the rest of his drink. Harry shook his head and threw the napkin to the side, “when you don’t like something don’t keep eating it.”

Louis sighed, “It’s a sin to waste food.”

“Who said?”

“Th-the bible-”

Harry groaned drinking his soda, “no, it’s just mean. What can you do, Lou? If you eat something that you don’t like, you are allowed to not eat it.” Harry chewed on the crust of the pizza, “I mean, if we threw away this whole pizza we’re just assholes, but sometimes things go bad or they burn and you have to.”

Louis nodded as Harry took the meat slice off of his plate and ate it. “I like meat, you like veggies.” He shrugged, “nothing wrong with that.”

-

Harry honked at Liam’s who hid under a tree as rain poured down. Harry put the car in park and looked over at Louis in the passenger seat, “don’t get out.”

“I could-”

“Nope, I’ll move my seat, okay? Stay in the car.” Harry got out, leaving his phone and wallet inside. He ran over to Liam who hadn’t seen them. Louis looked down at the pizza box in his hands and smiled. The pizza was good, and he was surprised that Harry ate five slices. Harry was like a bottomless pit. Louis ended up eating two and they were divine. Josh was really nice too and gave them their meal on the house.

Harry ordered a large pizza for the boys and Louis got to take home the rest of the veggie pizza. It was a good day, a really good day.

*

“Louis?” Liam smiled climbing in the back and out of the rain. Harry pushed the seat back and closed the door.

Louis gave a small wave, “hello Liam.”

“Hello Louis!” Liam took off his jacket and leaned forward kissing Harry’s cheek, “thank you for picking me up.”

“Of course, Li.” Harry pulled out of the office parking lot and shook the water from his hair.

“Oh, it smells so good.” Liam patted his stomach, “I haven’t eaten.”

 Louis looked at Harry, “can I give him some?”

Harry laughed, driving, “of course, Lou.” He looked in the rear view mirror, “We got you guys some pizza from Josh’s place.”

          Liam leaned forward as Louis opened the warm box. Liam licked his lips, “Hm, Louis, can you pass me a cheese one please.”

Louis struggled to get the cheesy pizza, but he did, and passed it back to Liam who took a bite immediately. “Oh, God is real!” Liam took another bite, “yum!”

Harry laughed, “How was work?”

“Eh, same. What about you guys? You went on a lunch date?”

Louis closed the box slowly.

 date?

“Yep, we had to catch up and stuff.”

Liam ate another bite, “oh, so good. –that’s great!” He chewed, “Louis, has Harry told you about my birthday party?”

Louis shook his head and looked at Harry. “Oh yeah, next week actually, on Friday night, we’re having a party for Liam. –You know Josh? The guy you met?” Louis nodded, “it’s gunna be at his dad’s place. Wanna come?”

“I’d love if you did.” Liam finished off his pizza and rubbed his stomach, “delicious!”

Louis shook his head, “I- no.”

“Oh my God!” Harry stepped on the brake, “who taught you how to drive, sir? - come on, peanut! Please come!” Harry made a sharp turn, “It’ll be fun.”

“I don –don’t do parties.”

“Please!” Liam leaned forward, “It would make me happy!” Louis forgot he had to apologize to Liam, maybe he could go. Possibly, he knew everyone… a little. Harry would be there, so it was safe.

“Um, what time?”

Harry screamed slapping the steering wheel, “yeah! You’re coming! We’ll all stuff in the car!”

Liam laughed, “It starts at nine.”

Louis nodded looking out the window.

What type of party started at nine?


	11. Matthew, Romans, Proverbs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

           

 “Peanut?” Harry sat against the refrigerator door. Louis continued cutting his avocado pieces.

              “Yes?”

               Harry chewed his upper lip, “wh –hm, why do you have such little furniture? If you don’t mind me asking.”

               Louis shrugged placing the sliced avocado on the toasted slices of bread, “I live by myself.”

             “Eh, yeah, but isn’t it like –boring?”

              Louis picked up the plate and looked down at Harry, “what’s boring?”

              Harry groaned standing up and following Louis to the living room. “Isn’t having such little stuff boring? I mean, don’t you want to decorate or something?”

             Louis sat crossed legged on his couch, “What else do I need?”

             Harry sat next to him, looking at the plate in his hand oddly, “pictures.”  
 Harry tilted his head, picking up one of the toasts, “or a coffee table.”

             Louis giggled, grabbing a piece of bread and putting the plate on the couch, “no thanks.”

               “But Niall could get you one!” Harry almost dropped his food, “he works at Home Depot! They sell all kinds of stuff.”

            Louis shook his head, “where –where would I put it?” He took a bite of his toast; Harry stared blankly at him.

             “What do you mean where would you put it!” Harry pointed at the big empty living room, “it could go anywhere!”

                  Louis chuckled, chewing on the food in his mouth, “it’s fine, thank you.”

              Harry sighed with a shrug, “whatever.” He sniffed at the bread and scrunched his nose, “you promise this shit is good?”

            Louis nodded, taking another bite, “yes.”

“Okay Lou.” Harry took a deep breath and took a big bite. It always surprised Louis how much Harry could fit in his mouth. He ate like a complete animal, and it seemed like he never stopped eating.

Harry nodded taking another bite, “it’s good.” Harry lifted his large thumb, “diff –different-”

 Louis backed up as avocado flew out of Harry’s mouth. He laughed wiping the green pieces off quickly, “ew, Harry!”

Harry covered his mouth laughing, “Oh –oh, I’m sorry!” He ran to the kitchen.

Louis giggled looking down at his shirt, “Don’t spit in my sink!”

It was quiet for a moment. “Sorry!”

*

“You’re so gross.”

Harry shrugged, “my bad. It was good though.”

Louis smiled, “I’m glad.”

Harry lifted up his hand for a high five. “Best avocado on toast- only avocado on toast I’ve ever tried, and it was wonderful.”

 Louis smiled slapping Harry’s large hand, “good.”

“So, what do you do for fun, peanut?” Harry yawned, “What’s your favorite thing to do?”

Louis tapped his chin softly, “I don’t have many hobbies.”

Harry nodded, “yeah, but you have to like something?”

Louis pressed his lips together, “um… I like to garden.” 

Harry sat up straight, “really?” 

Louis gave a small nod, “yes, but I don’t live in a house so I can’t.”

“Of course you can?” Harry lifted his brow, “get a baby garden for your house and,” Harry stood up, throwing his hands around, “you can put it on your coffee table if you had one!” 

Louis sighed, “How am I supposed to carry a coffee table, Harry?” 

The photographer pointed at himself, “Uh, I have a freaking car, Lou!” He laughed, “Do you want me to get you one?” 

Louis pulled on his small toes, “n-no. You don’t have to.”

“I want to! Come on, Louis!” Harry kneeled in front of him and shook his shoulders, “I wanna spice up your apartment.” 

Louis looked at Harry for a while before laughing, “You’re so strange.” 

Harry laid his head on Louis’ leg, “please! Come on! I’ll make it nice!” He wiggled his eye brows, “I’m a photographer, I take good pictures, and I can put some up on these bare walls.” 

Louis slapped Harry’s head softly, “okay… okay. But I want to see everything.”

Harry lifted his pinky and Louis linked them together. “I pinky promise I will make your apartment beautiful.”

Louis smile, rolling his eyes, “okay.”

*

“Harry?”

Harry looked up from his phone, “what’s up, peanut?”

Louis held a thin silver necklace with a paper plane charm in his hand. He looked nervous, “my parents gave this to me and, I mean, I’m not going to wear it or anything.” Louis extended the chain, “d-do you want-”

 Harry stood up and hugged his new friend tightly, “this is fuc-freaking great. Thank you.” Harry grabbed the necklace and smiled at it, he put it around his neck and beamed, “well?”

Louis nodded; it looked really nice on him. “It’s good.”

Harry looked like he was gunna rip in half, “I feel so happy. Thank you!” Harry looked down and touched the charm softly, “now you have something of mine and I have something of yours.”

Louis nodded slowly, because yeah, they did.

-

“Home!” Harry stepped inside the dark apartment, “hello!” He heard a small ‘outside’ come from the balcony. Harry stepped outside seeing Niall with a burning cigarette in his hand. “Hey.” Harry sat across from him, “how was your day? Did you just get back from work?”

Niall took a hit and leaned his head back, “I didn’t go to work.” he blew the thin smoke out, “I went to see Maura.” 

Harry licked his lips and sat back, “and?” 

Niall chuckled dryly, “she’s trying to make up for it- bitch.” He took a long drag, “mom was there and we got into a fight.”

Harry groaned, “Niall, come on, why do you always fight with her? It makes her feel bad.”

Niall scoffed, “why does she always have to force me to do shit?” Niall put his elbows on his knees, “all the fucking time!”

Harry rubbed his temples, “because she’s your mom, Ni.”

“Fucking hell man.” Niall stared at the burning stick, “I’m staying at Dani’s for a bit.” 

Harry threw his hands up, “Ni! No, no, you aren’t.”

“Yes I am.”

“Why? It’s not like mom’s here! Why do you always gotta leave us when you get mad?” 

Niall threw the cigarette off, “for this fucking reason. Because you guys always shit about it –about everything.”

“When do I give you shit for anything, Niall?” Harry snorted, “Stop talking out of your ass.”

“Right now, Haz!” Niall stood up and walked inside, slamming the sliding door. 

Harry stood up and followed, “Have you told Zayn?” Niall ignored him walking to Harry’s room. “Answer me you fucking prick! Have you told Zayn?”

“No! God damn!”

“Oh, and you think he won’t go get you?”

Niall sat on the bed and pulled at his blonde hair, “I don’t care ju –just don’t tell Zayn. J –Just say I’m visiting.” 

Harry sat next to him, “yeah, because he’s gunna believe that.”

“He’s just gunna cause more problems.”

“Okay!” Harry stood, “then don’t leave in the first fucking place and there won’t be any!” 

Niall laid on his back, “it’s just to relax. Dani’s place is quiet.”

“She has a fucking five year old!”

“Erica isn’t even there! She’s at Andy’s house- ugh! Stop trying to convince me otherwise!”

Harry knew he couldn’t convince him. It was pretty useless but he would try anyway. Things with Niall were always complicated. His biological mother was a piece of shit, but now wanted to climb back into his life, and Niall wasn’t having it. Harry understood, if his mother kicked him out for not giving her money for drugs he’d be upset too; but Niall made it a mission to hate this lady. Their mother would always say, ‘everyone deserves a second chance’, but Niall wasn’t going to give her one.

“Do me a favor then.” Harry walked over to his dresser. He sighed pulling out the bible. He tossed it at Niall who caught it with sloppy hands. Harry rubbed the back of his head, “um- like close your eyes and flip through it then stop and point at something- your eyes need to be closed though, and you have to focus on your problem. Then, uh, open them and read the part- I mean scripture…” 

Niall looked at Harry funny then laughed a bit, “Louis rubbing off on you?”

“Just fucking do it.” Harry groaned, “I’m trying to help.”

-

“Where’s Niall?”

Harry looked away from the TV and at Zayn, “haven’t you called him?”

“Yeah, he’s not answering. When did he go to work?” 

Harry looked back at the TV and played with the paper plane charm around his neck, “don’t know. Try calling him again-”

“Where is he?” Harry looked back at Zayn who now looked angry.

“I don’t know, Zayn, let me wat-”

“Where’s Niall, Harry!”

“I don’t know!”

Zayn left the room, slamming Harry’s door. He shouldn’t have lied cause he was sure Zayn and him were gunna fight now but what was he supposed to say?

“Harry!”

The photographer cursed to himself when he heard his name. He threw his legs over the bed and stood up. “Harry!” 

He took a deep breath and walked out into the living room, “yes, Liam?”

“Where’s Niall?” 

Harry leaned against the living room wall. “I don’t know. I just told Zayn.” 

Liam looked angry; he wasn’t about to deal with any of Harry’s lies. “Tell me where Niall is, Harry.” 

Harry looked around quickly making sure Zayn wasn’t around, “he went to Dani’s.”

“Why!”

Harry shrugged, “he got in a fight with mom.”

Zayn shoved past Harry, “what the fuck –why’d you lie you, fucking asshole!” 

Harry shoved him back, “he told me not to tell you! Which makes sense because you always lose your temper!” 

Zayn turned around, face to face with Harry, “he’s family, you dick!”

Harry rolled his eyes, “really? I didn’t fucking know!”

 Zayn pushed Harry roughly, knocking him over, “Niall is special, you dumb ass! I don’t care if I make his problems into my problems –anyone’s problems!”

Harry stood up and swung at Zayn’s face, “don’t fucking touch me!”

“Harry!” Liam pushed him and Zayn away from each other, “no hitting!”

“He pushed me first!”

Zayn laughed dryly, “You still fight like a little bitch.”

Harry pushed past Liam and jumped onto his friend. Harry saw stars when Zayn punched his left eye, “fuck you, Zayn, fucking asshole!” Harry hit his friend’s mouth just before Liam pulled him off.

Zayn stood up, wiping his lip of blood, “no, fuck you! You obviously don’t care where he is or what’s going on!” Harry’s breathing was rough, Liam held him back.  


                    “You both need to control yourselves! No, you know what, fuck both of you!” Liam let go of Harry and grabbed the keys off the table, “just fucking destroy each other.” Liam huffed slamming the front door. Harry slid down the wall as Zayn left after Liam. He leaned his head on the wall and touched his eye softly; it was definitely going bruise.

-

                        “So, she literally said, ‘fuck you! You won’t hand over the five dollars get out!’ Imagine that! Me, being sixteen years old, and being left to fend for myself!” Niall stuffed some pasta in his mouth, “is that not the most horrible thing ever? She wants me to be nice to her and love her again but I won’t!” Niall took another bite, “and Harry told me to flip through the bible, and shit, so I did!” He set the plate on the floor, “and when I read the stupid part, I couldn’t understand anything but I just needed to get out of the house!” Niall leaned back on his hands, “so, I came here because you’re all into this stuff. So I was wondering if you could help me out.”

Louis stared at Niall without blinking. Niall had practically banged down his door then walked in with a large bag on his shoulder. 

He was pretty confused. 

Then Niall started talking and talking and he didn’t stop talking. He told Louis that it smelled good and asked if he could have some of whatever Louis was having. Now, here they were, Louis eating on the couch, Niall on the floor, talking about Niall’s problems.

Louis set his food on the side table and smiled awkwardly, “u-uh wh –which verse was it?” 

Niall picked his plate back up and swirled some food in his fork, “it was, hm- oh! Matthew 6 –wait, I think it was,” Niall stuffed the food in his mouth and chewed with a hard face, “Matthew 6:15, yep that was it.” 

Louis nodded slowly; Niall scared him. He was worse than Harry when it came to eating. Niall didn’t give the food a chance; he swallowed everything. Louis didn’t see a point in him having teeth.

He cleared his throat softly, “well the scripture says, if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” 

Niall snapped his fingers vigorously, “Yes!” He swallowed the food in his mouth, “that was it. What does it mean?” 

Louis smiled slightly, “okay. Well, it’s very to the point-”

“Yeah, but what are trespasses?”

“Trespasses are sins. God is saying that if you don’t forgive people for their sins, he will not forgive yours.” 

Niall nodded slowly, “that’s some deep shit.” He ate the rest off his plate and looked up at Louis, “so, what am I supposed to do?” 

Louis looked around uncomfortably, “I don’t know.” 

Niall laid on his back, “Louis! I came here for you to help me!” 

Louis didn’t know what to say? He didn’t like the position he was in, “y-you do what you think is right.”

Niall sat up quickly, “yes, but what is right?”

Louis squinted, “uh –what?”

“What is considered right?” Niall pulled his knees to his chest, “I can’t just forgive her! It’s not that easy! She fucked up everything! I don’t even call her my mother! I have a mother already, I don’t need two!”

“I don’t understand.”

“Harry’s mom, she’s my mom not Maura.” Niall played with his sock, “how do you just forgive people who aren’t really sorry for what they did?” 

Louis turned his head slightly, “Romans 6:23.” He licked his lips, “there is a scripture that says; for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Meaning we have all done bad things.” Louis shrugged softly, “some worse than others, but we can’t point fingers…” Louis wished he could take his own advice. 

That was one of his worst habits, he judged quickly and he didn’t like people very much. It reminded him of Harry; Harry was not someone he would ever really try to befriend. Harry cursed, Harry was gay, Harry was tattooed, Harry was a lot of bad things but Harry was… Harry was kind, and funny, and caring.

Louis touched the cross around his neck, “your mom-”

“Maura.”

             “Maura- excuse me, did wrong but everyone does. I –I’m sorry that she did that to you, but God says to forgive. He says to forgive and love everyone. You don’t have to be friends but-” Louis thought for a moment, “if your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; if your enemy is thirsty, give him water to drink.”

Niall smirked softly, “another bible scripture?”

Louis nodded, “Proverbs 21:25.”

*

“Can I stay here tonight?”

 Louis shook his head, “uh, that’s not a good idea.”

“Please!” Niall pointed at the couch, “I’ll sleep here, or on the floor! Please!”

Louis had never had someone stay over his house before; Niall could not stay here. “Bu-but your family- Harry, you should go.”

“Louis, please!” Niall begged, “It’s just one night.”

-

“Did he answer yet?”

Zayn shook his head, putting on his work shirt. Harry leaned on the bathroom door, “you bruised my eye.” 

Zayn looked at Harry through the mirror and shrugged, “it’s not that bad. You busted my lip.” 

Harry looked at him and shrugged back, “it’s not that bad.”

He left the bathroom, seeing Liam asleep on the couch. Harry leaned in front of him and kissed his head, “Liam?” He shook him softly, “Li… go to your bed.” 

Liam groaned softly, opening his eyes, “is Niall back?” 

Harry shook his head, “no… come on, go to your bed.”

Liam stood up with Harry’s help, “did you try calling Dani again?”

 Harry nodded, “yeah, she hasn’t seen him yet.” Liam rubbed his eye and stumbled into the bathroom. Harry bit his cheek, “I’m gunna go see Lou.”

“Hurry up, cause I have to go to work.”

-

Harry sighed before knocking on the front door. Harry knocked again when the door stayed closed, “Lou?”

He heard the door unlock and felt relived; Louis was home. He needed someone to talk to. Louis opened the door slowly and put his finger on his lips, “shh.”  

Why did he need to be quiet?

Harry nodded and Louis opened the door wider. Harry felt uneasy; something was off. Louis motioned Harry over to the living room, “he’s still sleeping.”

“Niall!” Harry ran up to the sleeping boy and threw the covers off his body, “Niall! What the fuck are you doing here?”

Niall woke up rubbing his face, “stop screaming.”

“We were worried you fucking asshole!”

*

Louis was panicking.

Harry was screaming, Niall was screaming, and he wasn’t sure what to do. He’d never seen Harry angry; it was really scary.

“I told you I wasn’t gunna be home!”

“You said you were going to Dani’s house!” Harry pointed at his eye, “Zayn punched me!”

Niall stomped his foot, “Excuse me!”

“No! Excuse you nothing! Niall, what the fuck do you think this is! You can’t just fucking disappear cause you’re upset!”

Louis watched the two fight it out; Zayn punched Harry in the eye? Louis looked around quickly, what should he do? Should he get involved? Louis flinched as the volume increased.

“Stop talking shit, Niall! Liam barely slept! Zayn was furious!”

“That is not my fucking fault! Stop treating me like a god damn child!"  
“You sure as hell act like a fucking child!”

“I just needed to get out of the house!”

“Oh, so you think no one’s gunna notice or fucking worry!”

Louis turned his head toward the front door; someone was knocking. He tip toed over, it was probably the neighbors. Louis opened the door slowly to have it pushed open. Zayn ran in and went straight to Niall.

“You fucking asshole!”

“Oh my God!” Niall bent down, picking up his stuff, “of fucking course.”

“No! What the fuck! You were here! Are you serious?” Zayn shoved Niall onto the couch, “we were so fucking worried!”

Harry glared at Niall when he rolled his eyes, “yeah, keep fucking rolling them! Liam’s gunna pull them out of your fucking head when you get home!”

“It was just for a night!”

Louis frowned, why did they keep screaming at him? He could hear Niall’s voice change to a high rasp and Louis knew he was crying.

“I just needed to calm d-down!” Louis’ chest hurt, he should probably do something. 

He stepped forward, “e-excuse me?” All eyes were on Louis.

 “Lou, I’m so sorry.”

“Please stop screaming at him.” Harry shut his mouth. Louis fiddled with his fingers, “you’re making him cry.”

Zayn lifted an eyebrow.

“It won’t help, he’s just going to not want to be around you.” Louis looked down, “please leave my house a-and come back when you’ve calmed down.”

Harry’s eyes were big, “Peanut.”

“The door is over there. Please leave now.”

Zayn and Harry looked at each other then at Niall, “le -lets go, Ni.”

Niall wiped his face and grabbed his stuff.

Louis put up his hand, “Niall can stay… You both can leave.”

-

“Great!” Harry was speeding to Zayn’s job, “he’s mad at me now!”

Zayn rubbed his face, “your boyfriend has a voice.”

Harry shook his head, making a U-turn, “Yeah, I don’t even know where that came from.” Harry hit the wheel, “he let Liam inside and kicked us out! Fuck!”

Zayn chuckled, “I really don’t care,” He sighed and closed his eyes, “Niall’s okay, so nothing matters right now.”

-

“Home!”

“Kitchen!” Harry ran into the kitchen hearing Niall.

“Hey.”

Niall looked up from his sandwich, “hey.”

“Uh, Ni, I’m sorry.”

Niall nodded, “it’s okay.”

“No, no it isn’t. I’m so fucking sorry. We were so damn worried.”

“Shut up.” Niall smiled softly, padding up to Harry, “I forgive you, just hug me.”

Harry pulled Niall in quickly and held him firmly. “Don’t disappear anymore, please.”

Niall dug his face into Harry’s shoulder, “I won’t.”

Harry pulled away, messing up Niall’s hair. He opened the fridge, “where is Liam?”

“Sleeping.” Niall took a big bite of his food, “you should go see Louis.”

Harry took his head out of the fridge, “Why? He’s pissed, right?”

Niall laughed, “He’s more surprised than anything.” He swallowed, “go over, I think he’s waiting for you.” Harry slammed the door closed. “Louis is smart.”

Harry smiled, backing out of the kitchen, “I know, it’s fucking wonderful.”

-

“Louis, let me just say, I am so sorry.”

Louis nodded, “really?”

“Yes, I never get that mad, I swear –sometimes -maybe.”

Louis stepped outside, “I-I’ve never had so many people inside my house before.” Louis chuckled nervously, “you guys said so many bad words.”

Harry rubbed his face, “I know, and I am so fuc –damn it! I am so sorry!”

Louis smiled, “did you say sorry to Niall?”

“Yes, of course. I walked in and he was eating.”

Louis’ eyes grew, “he eats a lot.”

Harry laughed, “Yeah, he really does.”

Louis huffed, “what a crazy morning.”

“Yep, very.”

 Louis twisted his head, “your eye is a little purple.”

Harry touched his bruising eye, “yep. Zayn has a mean punch.” He stretched, “very mean- Louis, do you wanna come over?”

 Louis shook his head, “no.”

“It’s not always like that. I promise, please.” Harry pleaded, “I wanted to show you my Bob Marley CD’s, remember?”

*

              “This is my room!” Harry twirled in the center of the room as Louis looked around. The room was very vibrant; there were frames of different pictures everywhere and lots of posters. Harry had clothes all over the floor and Louis could see three M&M packets by the end of the bed.

             “Niall! Get out!”

              “Shut up!” Niall curled further into Harry’s bed; “you woke me up this morning!”

Harry looked at Louis, “I’m sorry about him, um, well this is my room.”

          Louis nodded, “it’s pretty.”

               Harry smiled, “thanks. These are all pictures I’ve taken.” Louis looked at the walls, the pictures were amazing. There were pictures of Liam, Zayn, Niall and pictures of parks, some were of objects but they all amazed Louis’ eyes. Harry’s photography was fascinating.

            “You’re really good at taking pictures.”

“Wow.” Harry bit his lip to hide a smile, “honestly, coming from you, that is really kind. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

               “You can sit on the little couch if you want.” Harry went over, grabbing CD’s off a side table. “Oh, this is a great CD for beginners.”

Louis sat on the small couch slowly, “pardon.”

                   “Just listen.” Harry fiddled with his small radio, Louis sat. The room smelled clean, it wasn’t dirty; just a bit disorganized. He had a really big bed, much bigger than Louis’, and he had a big window in the room. The walls were covered in graffiti where there were no pictures. It was a really nice set up, he trusted Harry to redo his living room now.

“There!” Harry jumped next to Louis, squishing them onto the tiny couch, “this one is called, One Love.” Harry bounced up and down, “Enjoy.”

And Louis did.


	12. Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

“What do I wear tomorrow?”

Zayn laughed, helping Harry carry the large box into Louis’ living room. Liam held some frames and Niall followed kicking the door shut. “You can wear whatever you want.”

Liam set the frames on the couch, “it’s not that important.”

Niall snorted, “You bet your ass it’s important. It’s your fucking birthday!”

Liam smiled shaking his head, “it really isn’t, Louis. Wear whatever you want.”

Harry set the box down and pulled up his pants, “yeah, peanut, wear anything.”

Zayn sat on the couch in a huff, “I am exhausted. Can I get some water?” Liam sat in his boyfriend’s lap. “When are they gunna fix the fucking elevator?”

Louis looked at them carefully then walked to the kitchen.

It was strange. Louis was getting used to these people. He was getting used to people; he had Harry to thank. He can’t even fathom people actually in his home but here they were. Louis noticed some changes, but it wasn’t like they were bad changes? He didn’t read the bible as much but that was okay because he’d already read it a bunch of times, and he forgot to pray sometimes but that was okay because he was busy…

Truth be told, Louis tried to ignore all of the things he was forgetting. It wasn’t that big of a deal, it wasn’t like he was forgetting about God or anything. He still worshipped him and loved him. It was just Harry. Harry came over a lot now so Louis always had to clean and try to make a snack for him. Harry and him talked a lot and it took up time, it wasn’t his fault.

Things were okay, he made his first friend and it was okay. Sure, Harry wasn’t the Godliest friend, but he was good. And just like Harry said; ‘what matters is who you are, not what people make you as’.

Louis looked at the four cups in his cabinet. He fixed his glasses and sighed. He never needed many plates or utensils or cups because it was only him. Louis pulled out glasses for the four boys in his living room and checked his fridge.

Not much to give.

Louis didn’t have any snacks or anything to give and that bothered him. He didn’t have any sweets or chips, because he didn’t really like them. He made a mental note to go to the store and get some peanut M&M’s

“Louis? Do you need help?”

The boy jumped and spun around, “Oh Liam. Um, yes, please, u –uh, I have water and orange juice. I don’t know if that’s okay?”

Liam smiled softly, “yes, it’s fine. I like orange juice.” Louis nodded nervously and opened the refrigerator.

“Louis?”

“Yes?” He pulled out the carton and set it down.

Liam thought for a moment, “Never mind.”

Louis watched Liam cautiously, what was he going to say? Did Louis do something wrong?

“The necklace you gave Harry is really nice by the way.”

Louis blinked a couple of times then smiled, “oh! Thank you,” he blushed softly. “Harry said now we have something from each other.” Louis touched the cold cross on his neck, “my parents had sent it to me.” Liam was smiling really wide; it was a little scary.

“He really likes it.” Liam shrugged and leaned on the counter top, “he’s always touching it and stuff.” Louis looked down, smile eating at his face, he felt really happy that Harry liked his gift.

“Peanut?” Harry walked in quickly, “do you have a screw driver?”

Louis shook his head, “no.”

“Damn, okay I'm gunna go home real fast.”

Louis frowned, “I’m sorry.”

Harry leaned forward, tapping Louis’ nose softly, “no worries, Peanut.” Louis nodded, cheeks red as strawberries.

Harry winked and looked to Liam who watched the pair in amusement. “I’ll be back.” Liam nodded as Harry left swiftly. Liam picked up a glass and glanced over at Louis who had a smile painted onto his lips.

“You like Harry, huh?”

“What?”

“Like as a friend, of course, you like him though?”

“Y-yes.” Louis smiled, pouring a glass of juice, “I do.”

-

“Bravo team!” Niall stuffed chips into his mouth. “Three hours later and you finished the fucking coffee table!” He took a moment to clap, “now, if you would have just listened to me, this could have went much faster.”

Harry rolled his eyes and sat on the floor next to Louis. “Shut up, you didn’t even get up.”

“Yes, but I was telling you what to do and no one listened!” Niall grabbed another handful, “like I was saying, I work at the store and I think I would know how to put a glass coffee table together, but good job guys.” He clapped again, “proud of you!”

Zayn kicked Niall’s leg, “shut up, at least we got it done!”

Niall looked at Louis, “now it’s time to hang pictures which neither of them know how to do.” Louis giggled softly.

“Hey, I take photos so hush!”

Niall scratched his stomach and stood up, “yes, of course, because hanging frames has everything to do with taking pictures.” Niall grabbed the hammer off the floor, “every time we hang frames, who does it?”

Zayn groaned, “Liam, now shut up.” Zayn stood up and looked at Louis, “could I use your balcony to smoke?”

Louis jolted, “uh, I don’t have chairs.”

“That’s fine, just need to be outside, any one coming with?” Niall raised his hand dropping the hammer onto the couch and followed Zayn out.

Niall popped his head back inside, “let me know when Liam gets back with the pizza.”

Harry laughed and gave a thumbs up, “save me some smoke, I’ll be right out.”

“Got it.”

Harry laid on the floor and smiled, “so it is 6 o’clock at night, and we are in Peanut’s home.”

Louis laughed at Harry’s silliness, “thank you.” Louis touched the medium sized table in front of him. “It’s beautiful, thank you so much.”

Harry smiled sitting up, “no problem, Peanut, but we aren’t done.” Harry stood with a stretch, “pick the pictures you want from the stack then when I come back in we’ll get started.”

Louis smiled with a nod and searched through the large stack of different sized photographs. He was impressed. Harry had taken all of these.

He kind of felt bad taking them; they were amazing shots. Louis stopped on a picture of a squirrel and was astonished at how close Harry was able to get to the fuzzy creature. He took that one out of the stack and continued.

He found one of a beautiful tree and another of an empty park bench. Some were of people and others of inanimate objects but, in general, they were amazing. His eyes caught sight of a familiar yellow wrapper. Louis giggled at the picture of peanut M&M’s and took it out of the stack.

Louis wanted all of them, if he was honest. He looked over at the balcony, which held Harry, Zayn and Niall… smoking… on his balcony. Well, that was just lovely.

Louis looked back at the frames then at Harry who was laughing at something Zayn was saying. It made Louis smile and he wanted to capture that image all of a sudden. Harry said that photography was like having the power to freeze time and Louis wanted that power. He wanted to freeze Harry’s laughing face and show it to the world.

Because Harry was special and Harry made Louis… happy. Harry was a good friend and Louis felt safe with him. He was Louis’ first real friend and it felt great. He wished everyone could meet Harry so everyone could see what type of person he was. At the same time, he wanted Harry for himself. It sounded selfish, and Louis wasn’t selfish, but if everyone had Harry then would Harry still be his friend?

Louis looked back at the curly haired boy with a cigarette in his hand.

Louis was bothered.

He was bothered that the cigarette in Harry’s hand didn’t bother him.

Louis was bothered that the people smoking outside didn’t bother him.

Louis was bothered that the people in his house didn’t bother him.

Louis was bothered that he wasn’t bothered at all, not one bit.

His head shot to the door. He stood up quickly, setting the pictures down.

“Who is it?”

“Liam!”

Louis smiled, opening the door to see Liam with another. “Hi Louis!” Josh pulled Louis in for a quick hug, “uh, do you remember me?”

Louis nodded disturbingly, “hi.” Louis met Josh once. He probably wasn’t a bad person, he hung out with Harry, right?

“Hey Louis, I’m sorry. I needed to talk to Josh about tomorrow.” Liam set the pizzas on the coffee table, “do you mind?”

Louis stood awkwardly, “oh! No, no, not at all.”

Liam smiled kindly, “thank you. –where are my boys?” Louis smiled pointing outside. Liam rolled his eyes, “of course.”

Josh stepped outside and the trio screamed. Liam shook his head and opened the large pizza box. “Oh, Louis, look. This one is half veggie, Harry said you liked it.”

Louis smiled and nodded, “I do. Thanks Liam.” Louis grabbed a slice and blew on it slightly.

_Pizza is never too hot._

Louis took a bite, rolled it around his mouth and chewed.

Liam laughed, “Goodness, you’re just like Harry. He never lets anything cool.”

-

“Harry, you can call Andy for the stuff.”

“Ha!” Harry laughed, “I’m not calling him.” Harry passed Liam the last frame, “tell Liam to call him tonight. I’ll get alcohol or something.”

 Josh huffed, “why do you still have a problem with him? Not even Dani has that big of an issue.”

“Because I give two chances to people, not ten. Fuck that, how can you fuck up ten times?”

Josh shook his head, “I’ll call Andy.”

Louis sat quietly, what should he bring?

He raised his hand slowly and Zayn looked over. “You don’t have to raise your hand, just speak.”

Louis pulled his fingers. “Um, should I bring something?”

“No.” The group spoke in unison.

Harry shook his hand, “don’t bring anything but yourself.”

Niall nodded, “we have everything, okay?”

Josh clapped his hands together. “Alright then, I will see,” he pointed at Louis, “tomorrow at nine and I will see you,” he pointed at the boys. “Early in the morning.”

Liam stepped off the couch and hugged his friend, “thank you, Josh.”

He slapped Liam’s butt and hugged Zayn, “please, Liam, you’re my boy.”

He half hugged Harry, and Niall next, and last Louis who didn’t hug back. “Alright, bless!”

“Bless!”

Louis tapped on Niall softly while Liam walked Josh out. “Why do you say that?”

“Say what?”

“‘Bless’?”

“It’s a family thing I guess.”

Zayn nodded, “It’s more for protection, it’s just something we say.”

That sounded nice.

“I’m tired, I’m gunna head out.”

Harry stood up, grabbing the left over pictures. He helped Louis off the ground and looked around, “nice, huh?”

Louis looked at his walls; they looked beautiful. His walls were white and boring but the pictures made them lively and he really loved them. “They are wonderful.” He looked at Zayn, Niall, and Liam. “Thank you all so much, you didn’t have to do this.”

“We know.” Zayn stood up, “we didn’t mind.”

 Niall nodded eating a cold slice of pizza, “it was fun, we should do it more often.”

Harry grabbed Louis’ pinky with his, startling him. He kissed the top of Louis’ hand, “pinky promise fulfilled.”

Louis smiled and gave his apartment one more look.

 Yes.

Pinky promise fulfilled.

-

“Okay –alright, I’ll be right there! –Okay.” Harry moved the phone away from his ear. “They say hi.”

Louis smiled, “hi.”

 “Sorry, I wanted to stop by because I’m not gunna see you til later, when I pick you up.”

Louis nodded, “thank you. –your eye looks better.”

Harry laughed touching the healing bruise, “thanks.”

Louis smiled, “it’s at nine, right?”

“Yes sir.”

“Um, when does it end?”

Harry laughed, “Have you ever been to a party?”

Louis blushed shaking his head, “no. Never.”

Harry rubbed his chin; “okay well these kind of parties end when you want them to.” He shrugged, “Just, um, wear whatever is comfortable for you and that’s about it.”

Louis smiled, “okay. Should I buy Liam a gift?”

“No, it’s all good. You don’t have to buy him anything.”

Harry looked down at the big brown paper bag in his hand. “Could I come in? I have a little gift for you.”

-

“You didn’t have to get me a gift.”

Harry smiled, pulling the glass bowl from the bag. He set it on the coffee table and smiled big, “it’s a mini garden!” Harry bent down and pointed at the small bench and tiny tree. “See, and you can add little people if you want.”

Louis was stunned.

He leaned forward and sat on his knees. Louis touched the tree softly, it was real. He touched the small grass, it was real. Harry got him a baby garden!

Harry reached in the bag, pulling out two male figurines. “I tried to get the ones that looks most like us.” He passed Louis the small dolls making him smile.

One little man had glasses; the other had a black jacket and long hair.

Louis felt so grateful.

He set the small men down and folded them to sit on the little bench.

Louis looked up, smiling bright, “Harry! Thank you!” He looked back at his new garden. “This is so nice.”

Harry shrugged, standing up straight, “you said you liked gardening so, there is your own garden. I advise you put it outside though, it needs sun light and stuff.” Harry chuckled, “I mean, I don’t know much about gardening but I think that’s one of the things they need.”

Louis giggled into his hand, “Wow…” he stood up. “I should get a little table for outside.”

“Niall could get you a discount,” Harry winked. “I better go, but if you do need any home stuff, just let me know.”

Louis smiled biting his lip, “thank you so much, Harry.”

The curly haired boy smiled and looked at Louis’ walls, “it looks really nice. I like the new aura.”

Louis looked at a wall and pointed at the yellow M&M picture. “That one and the squirrel are my favorite.”

Harry smirked, “you’re pretty into those M&M’s, huh? Soon I’m gunna be finding empty packets around your house.”

Louis laughed softly, “You have them in your room.”

Harry grabbed his chest, “Shit, you caught me.”

Louis shook his head, “they are pretty yummy.”

Harry poked Louis’ side softly, “yeah, for someone who doesn’t like sweets.”

Louis giggled moving away, “yeah…”

-

Harry waved Louis goodbye.

 He walked to the stairs calmly then fell to knees.

It was so painful; Harry held his chest tightly. Louis was so cute, it hurt so fucking much. Harry wasn’t sure how he hadn’t had a heart attack yet. His face when Harry gave him the garden-

 Harry groaned, leaning on the wall for support. He was so happy and Harry was dying.

He’d been having very terrible, amazing, awful, deliciously horrible dreams about Louis. Ones that woke him up with a problem cold water could fix. Louis was even more beautiful lately too. He was always smiling now, and he looked extra small lately.

Harry wanted to squish him and eat him like the little peanut he was. But he refused to destroy the relationship; he wouldn’t touch Louis unless Louis asked. Harry laughed, almost crying.

 When would that ever happen?

Never.

Harry held his chest again, only if Louis would say the words; ‘touch me’. Harry shuddered, that would be the greatest day of his life.

Harry slowly stood up; Louis would be the death of him. Louis was small, Louis was tiny, and Louis wore glasses.

Who the fuck wore glasses? (Everyone wore them, Harry was just insane.)

Louis knew how to hit home with the glasses. Harry wanted to take them and toss them off a fucking building, but to imagine Louis without them would be even more painful and Harry wasn’t sure if he could deal with it.

He walked down the stairs, one hand holding his chest and one on the handrail.

He thought about Louis’ butt every now and again.

 Harry stopped and sat on the staircase again.

When they were setting up the coffee table and Harry asked Louis to pass him the screwdriver, Harry saw it. Louis’ ass was in his face.

The photographer cried into his hand.

 All he had to do was squeeze it and his life could have ended. Harry scratched up and down his pants, he just needed to see it out of those pants one time, just once and that’s all.  Harry groaned, stopping when a woman cleared her throat at him.

          He grinned slowly, scooting off the staircase and running down the steps.

-

“I still don’t understand what took you so long.” Zayn drove up to a stop sign, “we’re gunna be late.”

Harry squealed from the back seat, “did you guys-” he choked on his words. “See Louis’ ass?” Harry screeched making Niall laugh.

Liam patted Harry’s head softly, “calm down, darling.”

Harry made unnatural movements. “Oh God, is was so round!” He slammed his face against the window. “Do you think he’ll ever date me?”

Zayn shook his head in pity. “Freak.”

Liam hit him. “Who knows, Haz. Just don’t get your hopes up too high, okay?”

-

It was nine.

It was nine thirty.

It was nine forty three and there was no sign of Harry.

 Louis wasn’t sure what to do, so he decided to wait. He looked at himself in the mirror a billion times and brushed his teeth a billion and two times.

He chose on wearing all black, he wasn’t sure the theme of the party and he’d never been to one, so black seemed the most appropriate. He had a black t-shirt with black skinny pants, simple.

Nice.

Louis ran to the door and fixed his hair before opening.

“Shit, Peanut!” Harry laughed, “I’m so sorry I’m late. Come on, the car’s on.”

Louis nodded quickly and closed his door; he followed Harry down stairs and outside. It was a bit nippy.

Louis never really –Louis never went anywhere at this time so it felt weird. Harry snuggled inside and smiled, “I’m so sorry again.” He turned the heater on and backed out of the lot.

Louis felt on edge, he was worried about the party but he was more worried about Harry.

His eyes were bloodshot and he smelled kind of funny. Harry either smelled like Harry or like cologne, but right now he didn’t smell like that, or like cigarettes or anything familiar. He smelled like something Louis had never smelled before.

“So, you excited?”

Louis jumped at Harry’s random outburst, “Uh yes.” He smiled, “how’d the setting up go?”

Harry stared at the road strangely, “great! It went awesome!” He turned on the radio and turned the sound up, blaring some familiar sounding music.

Louis smiled, “is this Bob Marley?”

Harry smirked and nodded, “yes sir!” Harry turned up the volume even more and Louis had to stop himself from covering his ears.

 Was it necessary to have it that loud?

“We are gunna have so much fucking fun!”

 Louis nodded slowly.

                                                                                                                                                                     Yes fun.

-

This is not the type of party Louis thought Liam would have. The music was loud, the room was filled with different colored lights and smoke; there were people… everywhere. There was so many people, Louis couldn’t understand how someone could even have that many friends.

“Keep close to me!” Harry screamed over the music. He held Louis’ hand tightly as they pushed through the dancing crowd. Louis didn’t feel good, his stomach hurt and he wanted to get fresh air but he held onto Harry’s hand, he really didn’t feel like getting lost.

Harry shoved some people out of the way and they finally made it into a kitchen where people seemed to be playing a game. Harry turned around with a big smile, “nice party, right? We did it all ourselves!”

Louis swallowed thickly, “u-um I don’t feel good, can I go outside?”

Harry pouted and put his hand on Louis’ stomach, it was comforting. “What’s wrong, peanut, are you hungry?”

“I-”

“Louis!” Louis flinched at Niall’s scream. He hugged him tightly, “h-oh goodness, you’re here!”

Harry smiled, “yep, wait I’m gunna find som-something to help you feel better!” Harry ran off leaving Niall and Louis in standing. Niall was nice but he didn’t want to be with Niall, Harry made him feel safe he wanted to be with him.

“Come here!” Niall grabbed Louis’ wrist, dragging him over to the long table. “Hey! He’s never played! Move aside!” The people around the table, that Louis had never seen in his life, screamed and cheered.

Louis’ heart sped up and his mouth went dry.

Niall handed him a small ball, “try to get it in one of their cups!” Louis held the ball with a hard grip. “Go ahead, throw!” Louis threw it quickly not getting the ball into any of the red cups on the table. Niall patted his back, “it’s okay, it -it’s their turn now.”

A man aimed a ball at Louis and threw it softly, landing it in one of the cups on Louis’ side. He looked down at the ball then back at Niall. Niall laughed and took the ball from the cup. He handed the plastic cup to Louis, “drink up!”

Louis’ eyes grew, “what?”

“You have to drink, he got it in your cup.” Louis looked down at the drink then at the people.

A chant of ‘chug, chug, chug’, went around the table. “Hurry up and drink!” Louis panicked and put the cup to his mouth chugging down the unknown liquid. He put the cup down and cringed at the flavor, what did he drink!

The whole table screamed while Niall held onto Louis.

“Louis!”

               Harry pushed past the small crowd and grabbed onto him, “hey, come here.” He pulled him away from the table and into a quiet corner. He touched Louis’ face softly and it felt so nice. Louis felt hot and Harry’s hand was freezing. “Drink this, Peanut, it’ll chill you out, okay?”

                Louis wanted to cry. He grabbed the small glass with shaky hands. Harry lifted Louis’ face, “sh, relax.” Harry’s red eyes were hypnotizing. “I’m here, okay? No need to be afraid.” Harry burped softly, “just drink that in one shot and you’re gunna feel warm all over.”

          Louis nodded, small tears trickling down his cheeks. He put the small glass with clear liquid to his lips and took it down in one shot.

His whole body felt like it was on fire.

               He coughed holding onto Harry’s shoulder. Harry grabbed the glass and set it down, he patted Louis’ back softly. “It’s good, you’re gunna feel better.”

              Louis stood straight and cleared his throat, he wasn’t sure what he drank but it burned. Harry laughed softly, wiping Louis’ tears away, “you okay?”

               Louis nodded slowly, “what am I drinking?”

               Harry smiled, “Vodka, but don’t worry.” Harry linked fingers with Louis and pulled him out of the kitchen, “let’s go get some air really fast, I think Zayn’s outside.” Louis nodded, keeping his eyes closed while walking through the thick crowd.

-

Once outside, Louis felt at ease until a big cloud of smoke blew into his face. Harry shoved one of the guys who did it, “What the fuck, man!” Harry sighed, “You okay?”

Louis nodded taking deep breaths, “I-I didn’t know there was going to b-be so many people.”

Harry smiled, fixing Louis’ glasses, “but you’re here! I’m so happy, peanut! You came!”

Louis nodded slowly; everything was going to be fine.

“Harry, you want one?” 

Harry turned around and smiled, at whom Louis assumed to be his friend, “thanks, bro.” He took a small pill in the shape of a rectangle. The guy handed Harry a beer and patted his back then left.

Harry smiled at Louis and broke the pill in half, “want one?”

Louis shook his head, “what is it?”

“It’s a bar, it’s just to chill you out.”

Chill you out?

            Maybe Louis should take one. He tilted his head as Harry put half in his mouth and swallowed it down with the beer in his hand, “you sure?” Harry smiled devilishly, “it’s not bad.”

            Louis licked his lips, “Y-you pinky promise?”

           Harry grabbed Louis’ pinky in his, “I pinky promise.”

               Louis nodded, “okay.”

            Harry smiled, handing the beer to Louis, “open up.” Louis opened his mouth tensely. “Stick your tongue out, and then drink.”

               Harry bit his lip as Louis stuck his small tongue out of his mouth. He placed the white pill on it and Louis immediately drank some of the beer, not enjoying the taste.

                Harry took the glass bottle from him and smiled, “prepare to take a small trip to heaven, Lou.”

 


	13. Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

 

Louis’ chest felt tight with the heat of the room.

It was hot.

The room

 It was hot.

The room was hot and Louis was suffocating.

               He’d been at the party for thirty minutes.

The party had been going on for thirty minutes.

Louis had been at the party for thirty minutes.

Normally it took Louis thirty minutes to read the entire book of Genesis but he wasn’t at home. Louis was not at home; Louis was at this party. Whose party was it again- oh right.

 It was Liam’s party.

Liam’s party was going on.

It was Liam’s birthday party.

Then where was Liam? Louis had been at the party for thirty minutes and he still hadn’t seen Liam. Was he at the right party? –Of course he was at the right party; Harry brought him here.

But where was Harry?

He said –Wait, did he say anything?

 Oh.

Louis felt stupid; Harry was right there. Harry was talking to him but why couldn’t he hear him? Oh, Harry’s laughing about something, did he tell another joke? The music was making the room shake; maybe that’s why he couldn’t hear?

               Louis wondered if they had the air conditioner on because this heat was unbearable. The last time Louis sweated like this was when Harry and Niall chased him.

Louis laughed, that was such a long time ago.

Where’d Harry go?

Was he not just in front of Louis? He probably went to get Louis another drink.

Louis stood in the middle of the dance floor as people danced around him. The boy laughed by himself, why was he on the dance floor? Had he been dancing? Louis never danced, maybe he was dancing and he didn’t remember?

But it had only been thirty minutes.

He’d been at the party for thirty minutes.

The party had been going on for thirty minutes.

Louis had been at the party for thirty minutes.

          Thirty minutes consisted of a full bar (which Louis found out was Xanax), four beers, and two shots of straight vodka. After the last quarter of the Xanax, Louis couldn’t feel anything.

Oh, is that Zayn?

He looked very nice, should Louis say hello? Did Zayn even like him? Louis could understand why Liam liked Zayn; he was a very attractive man. His hair was really nice too. He was a nice person to stare at. Liam was actually gay and so was Zayn. Incredible, but it was okay because Louis’ best friend was gay and Louis was ecstatic about Harry.

Harry.

Harry?

Where was Harry?

\- Zayn was walking toward him.

               “Hi Louis!”

Louis nodded. “Happy birthday!”

Zayn was laughing at him. Why? Was it not his birthday? No. It was not his birthday; it was Niall’s birthday!

Where was Niall?

               “You’re so fucked up!”

               Fucked up? What did that mean? Sometimes Zayn said things that Louis just couldn’t understand.

“I-I’m fucked up?”

 Zayn laughed some more making Louis laugh. Zayn grabbed his hand and pulled him off the dance floor.

Why?

Louis was trying to dance.

Could he not see that?

              

-

               “Take a hit of this.”

Louis looked at the white stick. It looked like a cigarette without the brown part. Louis didn’t smoke? Wait, Louis didn’t smoke. Harry smoked

Harry. 

Harry?

Where was Harry?

               “It’ll calm you down, dude.” Zayn laughed leaning on the wall, he lit the small white stick and sucked the smoke up into his lungs. The smoke that flowed out of Zayn’s mouth intrigued Louis. He reached out, trying to grab it making Zayn topple over laughing. Louis couldn’t understand the comedy in the situation but he laughed too. Zayn burned out the stick with his finger and handed it to Louis.

               “Go find Harry so he can shot gun with you!” Louis nodded slowly. “Because you don’t smoke and you’re just gunna choke.”

Louis nodded again. What was shot gun? Was Harry going to shoot him?

Harry.

Harry?

Where was Harry?

               “Go inside and find Harry!” Zayn started backing away to a small group, “come back if you need something!”

-

Louis needed something but he didn’t know how to get back outside. He looked around. Louis smiled; he was back on the dance floor. Wait, Louis wasn’t dancing?

He should really find Zayn because Zayn had said if Louis needed something to go to Zayn but Louis didn’t know were Zayn was?

               He looked down in his sweaty palm and saw the stick Zayn gave him. It was kind of see through. Louis lifted it to his nose taking a whiff.

Oh.

Louis had smelled that before. When? Earlier when he was outside, someone blew it in his face. Smelled better than a cigarette, but not good. Louis looked around at the dancing bodies that ignored him. What should he do? This was a dance floor, the floor where you dance? Maybe he should dance?

               “Louis!”

               It was Niall.

Louis looked at the crowd. Where was Niall? He did hear him 

Hands turned him around and there was Niall. He had a big grin on his face, “Louis! Harry is looking for you!”

Harry?

Where was Harry?

Niall shook him roughly, “hey! Harry is looking for you!”

Where was Harry?

Why couldn’t Louis speak?

“Can you hear me!” Niall’s eyes were bright and glossy. “Harry is looking for you! Louis!” Why did he keep screaming! If Harry was looking for Louis, where was Harry!

               “Louis!” Niall flicked his forehead, “Niall to Louis! Can you hear me?”

               “Where the  _fuck_  is Harry then!” Louis stomped his foot, “where is he!”

               Niall nodded slowly, “he’s waiting by the stair case!”

               “Where’s that?”

               “I’ll show you!” Louis groaned clutching something in his hand? What was in his hand? Niall pulled him through the tight crowd. Oh right.

It was Niall’s birthday.

               “Happy birthday, Niall!”

               Niall didn’t stop pulling him though. Oh well. He’d say happy birthday later.

Harry was on the staircase.

               “Louis, you fucking nerd!” Harry grabbed Louis away from Niall and hugged him. “Don’t run away from me!” Louis felt so nice in Harry’s arms. Louis decided that was his favorite place to be and Louis had been to a lot of places.

He’d been to Australia, New York, LA, Washington, the Islands...

But none of those places ever made him happy, none of those places made him feel good, not even home. Harry, Harry’s arms felt the best. They were comfortable and he felt safe, he felt cold in a hot room.

               “Hey, where the fuck did you go!”

               Louis kept his head pressed against Harry’s chest. His heartbeat was beating fast and he could hear it perfectly over the music. Harry said something to Niall that Louis didn’t understand and Niall went away. Harry held Louis and Louis held Harry and it just felt perfect.

               “Peanut, are you okay? I got you a drink like you asked.” Harry pulled away making Louis’ body limp. “Here,” Harry passed him a red cup, “take sips.”

Louis grabbed the cup and handed Harry the thing in his hand. “What the fuck!” Harry laughed, “Where’d you find this?”

               Louis drank down some of the blue liquor, “I think Liam gave it to me.”

               Harry’s eyes grew, “Liam?”

               Louis nodded, “he said to shoot me with a shot gun but I rather you not though.”

Harry shook his head in awe, “did Zayn give you this!”

Louis nodded, “that’s what I said. Zayn gave to me and told me to tell you to shoot me.” Louis drank some more. This drink was sweet, like juice. “But please don’t.”

Harry sat on the stair case barely able to breathe.  Louis sat next to him sipping his drink as Harry practically peed himself laughing. Louis felt tired but it had only been thirty minutes, why was he so tired? He leaned his head on Harry’s shoulder.

               “Are you sleepy? Do you wanna go upstairs?”

              What was upstairs?

Where was he?

Whose house was he in?

          Harry stood up and helped Louis off the step, “come here, baby, let’s go upstairs so you could sleep.” Louis made another decision. He liked Harry’s pet names, Peanut and stuff. He liked the way Harry said them, they made him feel loved and Louis wasn’t used to feeling loved.

               Louis stumbled up the stairs with Harry’s arm around him. “Wh –what time is it?”

Harry smiled when they got to the top, “it’s 3 in the morning.”

Three.

Three in the morning.

Three A.M?

Was Harry serious? What time had Louis got here? It had only been thirty minutes? Hadn’t it? Harry picked him up at like nine. Three in the morning! Louis had never been up that late.

Three in the morning.

               Harry fixed something on Louis’ back causing his fingers to rub against Louis’ lower back. The boy’s whole body grew goose bumps. Harry’s hands were so nice, they were so cold. Louis dug his face into Harry’s chest. “What’s wrong, Peanut?” Harry stopped half way down the hall and grabbed Louis’ chin, “look at me. You okay?”

Harry looked back and forth at Louis’ eyes with a smile, “you’re so drunk, babe.” Harry laughed, kissing Louis’ forehead, “let me put you to sleep.”

Louis shook his head pulling Harry back as he tried to move away, “I’m scared to sleep alone.” Louis pouted leaning back on Harry, “I wanna smoke with you.”

Harry kissed the exposed part of Louis’ shoulder before fixing his shirt. “Shh, no smoking. Let’s sleep, we’ll share a bed.” Harry pulled Louis softly off the wall and down the hall.

               “No.” Louis groaned loudly, pulling back. “I wanna be with you! I don’t like when you leave me!”

Harry nodded lazily and pulled Louis back into his arms, “calm down. We’re gunna sleep together.”

Louis whined louder, “no!” He tugged roughly as Harry laughed. Louis was so much smaller compared to the photographer and it was almost embarrassing to see him struggle.  “You’re going to leave again!”

Harry smirked giving into Louis’ pulling, “okay, what do you want to do?”

Louis threw his body back into Harry’s arms, “I don’t know.”

               “You wanna smoke then?”

-

               “Harry!” A longhaired boy got in front of Harry and Louis; Louis caught Harry’s eye roll.

               “What?”

               The boy frowned, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

               “I told you to stay away from me, Andy.” Louis held onto Harry’s sweater tighter. His voice was annoyed and Louis didn’t like it.

 “Okay well why should money get in between us? I just wanted a fucking tattoo.” Andy huffed, “I know you could do them.”

Harry laughed, “No.” Harry elongated his, ‘no’. “Stop asking, it’s never going to happen, no. Do me a favor,” Harry grabbed Louis’ wrist, “stay the hell away from me.” He dragged Louis outside.

              Who was that boy and why didn’t Harry like him? Harry seemed to like everyone. Louis looked back inside at Andy who stared at him. What was wrong with Andy?

               “Move please.” Harry groaned, shoving through the group instead of waiting for them to move.

Harry wrapped his arm around Louis’ shoulder and moved him over to the grass where they sat down. Harry huffed, “fucking idiot.” He looked at Louis lighting the stick Zayn gave him, “don’t ever get near him no matter what anyone says, he is a piece of shit.”

Louis nodded, “why?”

               Harry took two hits of the thing in his hand, “alright, I’m all for giving chances to people.” He blew out the smoke. Harry shook his head taking another hit, “this fucker literally beat up Liam- don’t you ever tell Zayn that because he’ll go to jail for killing him- because Liam was gay and now they’re best friends.”

Harry handed Louis the white stick, “You want to smoke?”

Louis shook his head quickly, “I- how?”

Harry smirked, “wanna shot gun with me?” Louis blushed. Harry’s voice sounded seductive and it made Louis’ tummy flip.

               “H-How?”

               Harry sucked up another hit and grabbed the back of Louis’ head. He was, well he was more than freaking out. Louis was one hundred and fifty percent sure that Harry was about to kiss him.

What did kissing have to do with shot gunning?

What was going on?

Harry’s lips got closer to the frozen boy and he wasn’t sure what to do. Because he didn’t want to do anything. For twenty-three years of his life he had never kissed anyone, ever. He didn’t know what to do or how it would feel. Louis almost wanted Harry to kiss him, no, he did. He wanted to know why it felt nice for people. Why was kissing so nice? Was kissing a man nice?

               Harry squeezed Louis’ cheeks softly, opening his mouth slightly. A strong heat of smoked flowed out of Harry’s lips and into Louis’. Louis took the smoke in his mouth and swallowed which was an awful idea.

He leaned forward coughing harshly. Harry laughed, patting and rubbing his back, “relax, breathe, Peanut.”

Louis gripped the grass with one hand as his choking commenced. He shook his head quickly, “that-that’s aw-awful.”

Harry nodded licking his finger and putting out the stick. “It’s weed, Lou. It’s something you get used to.”

Louis nodded clearing his throat. The world kind of felt like it was spinning but Louis knew it wasn’t. The world wasn’t supposed to spin that quickly, that wasn’t possible. He rubbed his throat softly, “it hurt.”

Harry pouted and wiped something off Louis’ cheek, “I’m sorry. Well, that’s shot gunning.” He chuckled, “it’s a bit more fun if you smoke normally.” Harry stopped, “wow. Your eyes look amazing.”

               Louis bit his lip, “my eyes?”

               Harry nodded moving closer, “they have like a red ring around them- they just look so fucking nice right now.”

Louis blushed, “thank you…” He rubbed his eye softly, “can we go back upstairs now, please?”

Harry smiled softly, “yeah, baby, let’s go.”

-

          Harry knocked on one of the upstairs rooms. He pressed his head to the door and shook his head. “Not this one.”

Louis was confused, “why not?”

Harry pulled him away from the bedroom, “people are fucking in that one.” He smiled, “unless you wanna join?”

 Louis’ body stilled, “n-no!”

Harry laughed knocking on another door. He put his ear to it and opened it slowly. Harry nodded, “this one is good, come.”

Louis stepped in with slow steps, “you sure?”

               Harry laughed, “Yeah, Lou, it’s fine. Go ahead, lay down.”

Louis shook his head quickly while Harry locked the door, “you’re staying, right?”

Harry nodded, yawning, “Yes sir. I think my partying is over for the day.” Louis stood uncomfortably in the large room. Harry stretched, walking up to the bed. He kicked his shoes off first then stripped off his sweater. Louis watched, he watched and began thinking.

               What was he doing? Why was he in this room with Harry right now? Louis began forgetting things quickly and it scared him. Him and Harry were here to sleep or were they here for another reason? The people in the other room were in there for another reason. Louis couldn’t have sex with Harry! Harry was his friend and sex was supposed to be saved for marriage. Louis watched Harry’s back muscles and how they flexed as he stretched.

But what if Harry wanted sex?

What was Louis talking about? Harry was just his friend and Louis was –Louis wasn’t… he wasn’t gay!

          Louis almost laughed, all he can think about is what if Harry wanted to have sex with him. He wasn’t even gay, and how would that even work? Louis didn’t know how to have sex; he would probably be bad at it or mess up. He probably wasn’t Harry’s type either. Louis didn’t find himself very attractive and Harry was very attractive; it wouldn’t make sense if an attractive person liked an unattractive one.         

What in the world was Louis even thinking about!

              

               “Louis, come here.” Harry jumped on the large bed and patted the empty spot next to him, “or I’m gunna fall asleep without you.”

Louis felt like his head was going to explode. “Are you going to have sex with me?”

 Harry froze and his eyes never left Louis’ scared ones.

Why would he ask something like that!

What type of crap was spewing out of Louis’ mouth canal!

               Harry sat up slowly, “what?”

               Louis wiped his eyes, “are you going to touch me?”

               Harry was in shock, what was Louis talking about? He shook his head, “um, I think you’re really fucked up and you re-”

               “Are you?” Louis cupped his hands together, “will you touch me?”

               Harry fixed his hair taking a deep breath, “if you want me to.”

Louis tilted his head.

If he wanted him to.

What did Harry expect Louis to say?

What did Louis expect himself to say?

Louis had never been touched sexually; he’d never touched himself. What if Harry thought he was ugly or something? Louis didn’t understand what was going on. He was worried about whether Harry was going to touch him or think he was ugly.

It wasn’t passing his mind that he wasn’t gay, that he wasn’t supposed to be even thinking about Harry having sex with him. Louis’ life was supposed to be dedicated to God, Louis was supposed to be with a woman, Louis was not supposed to have these awful thoughts but he was. Harry was his friend and right now all he could think about was whether Harry would like his body or not.

               “Louis?”

               So why then, did the words not hesitate to fly out of Louis’ mouth?

Why did he want Harry to touch him?

Why did it not bother him, it didn’t bother him one bit.

               “Touch me.”

               Louis could see the change in Harry’s expression; it was hard to read. Did he think Louis was weird? Harry stood up slowly, “you don’t want that.”

Louis nodded, “I do.”

               “No. You don’t.”

               “I do.” Louis pouted, “I’ve never been touched or kissed-”

               “No!” Harry looked angry and Louis didn’t know why. “You don’t, you’re drunk and you think you do. You really don’t.”

Louis nodded slowly and walked over to the bed, “okay.”

 Harry sighed sitting back onto the bed, “I just.”

               “No.” Louis sat down, “I guess you’re right…”

Harry groaned, “Louis, Jesus Christ, I’d love to!”

          Louis sat up on his knees, “How? I don’t know how to do it.”

          Harry kicked his feet against the bed, “this isn’t happening to me!” He made a painful sound, frightening Louis. “You aren’t into guys, Louis!”

Louis shook his head. He wasn’t into guys but Harry wasn’t a normal guy. Louis scooted forward on the bed, “I know…but you said you’d love to.”

Harry bit his lip, “oh, I do… I wanna ravish you.”

Louis blushed a soft red tint, “touch me then.”

               Harry rolled over, muffling his scream into the pillow, “You don’t know what you’re asking me right now!”

Louis put his hand on Harry’s shoulder and leaned down, “I do…” Louis swallowed the thick lump in his throat, “I’ve never done this before… I’ve never had a friend Harry.” Louis laid his head on Harry’s stiff body, “I know I don’t want it and it makes me want it even more.”

Harry turned over, face only centimeters from Louis’. “Please don’t hate me in the morning.”

Louis pressed his lips together with lazy eyes, “If I hate you, can you deal with that?”

Harry shook his head, “no, but I’ll figure it out.”

               The photographer wrapped his large hand around the back of Louis’ neck pulling him down for his first kiss.

Louis’ first kiss.

He didn’t know what to do so he just pushed back against Harry’s lips. Louis’ first kiss was… it was intoxicating. Harry’s lips felt rough with a softness that made Louis feel like falling asleep. He remembered a bible scripture about getting drunk off of a lovers kiss. Louis wasn’t sure whether it was because he was already drunk or because Harry was causing him to feel drunk.

               Harry’s hand slid onto Louis’ waist pulling him on top.

Louis pulled back quickly and shook his head, “n-no! I’ll squish you!”

Harry laughed softly, “oh God, please. You are the smallest thing ever.” He rubbed Louis’ red cheek softly, “so beautiful. How was your first kiss?”

Louis’ lips wobbled, “It felt nice…”

Harry smirked, “yeah? That’s it?”

Louis put his face into Harry’s neck in embarrassment, “I’m sorry.”

Harry was laughing at him, “Oh my Peanut, you are so wonderful. God, I can’t believe this is actually happening.” He pulled Louis’ face out of his neck and leaned up, kissing him again. “Can I do something for you?”

Louis nodded unsteadily, “what will you do?”

               Harry pushed Louis off, softly placing him on his back. “I wanna give you a blow job if you don’t mind.”

Louis shuddered under Harry, what was that? Louis watched Harry cautiously; he sat at Louis’ feet and smiled. “I need to take your pants off.”

Louis’ eyes popped, his pants? He closed his eyes tightly, “what if I look ugly?”

               “No way.” Harry pushed Louis’ legs apart, “you are fucking beautiful.” Harry rubbed Louis’ thighs softly, “relax for me.” He slid his hands upward towards the button. Louis watched every movement and every touch of Harry’s long fingers. He was terrified; Louis was scared that when Harry took his pants off he would think Louis was ugly. Louis was scared that Harry would hate him and stop. Louis was scared that he’d do something wrong.

               The button was off and the zipper was down. Harry’s thumbs rubbed Louis’ stomach softly, calming him. “It’s going to feel good, okay? I’m gunna take care of you.”

          Louis whimpered, “p-pinky promise?”

Harry smirked, kissing a part of Louis’ hipbone then grabbing his pinky, “pinky promise.”

          Louis nodded watching Harry again. His lips pecked his waist as his hands pulled down Louis’ pants. Harry sat up, pulling off Louis’ shoes and pants right after. “You’re shaking, love.”

Louis hadn’t realized, he looked down at his legs and yes; they were shaking. Harry raked his blunt nails down Louis’ thighs, leaving fading marks. “I got you, okay? Trust me.”

Louis nibbled on his nails, “y-yes.”

Harry smiled tenderly; he slid his index finger under Louis’ red boxers. “I must be dreaming.” Harry pulled down the boxers licking his lips; Louis watched his eyes grow. “Oh yes, I’m dreaming.”

               Louis had even bigger eyes, what was that? That was him, but it was standing up? He blushed as Harry observed it with shiny eyes. Why was it standing up?

 Louis felt hot, the room obviously didn’t have air conditioning because this was ridiculous. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked back down at Harry. The younger boy’s eyes connected with Louis’ while Harry’s hand reached out grabbing the erection.

Oh.

That’s different.

 Harry’s hands didn’t feel cold anymore, they felt hot; really freaking hot. Louis twitched softly, “wh- I don’t understand.”

Harry pulled the skin downward, tip gleaming, “so gorgeous.”

Louis’ whole body went into shock, Louis wanted to look down but he couldn’t. Louis couldn’t because his eyes were inside his head. Harry was- he was… Harry’s mouth was on his dick, and it felt so strange.

Harry rubbed deep circles in Louis’ side while his mouth kept Louis warm. He licked the underside of Louis’ cock, holding it steady.

               “So good, Lou…” Louis’ back arched off the bed. All he wanted to do was see Harry’s expression but he couldn’t, he couldn’t keep his eyes opened! The way Harry’s tongue wrapped around him, Louis could barely breathe.

Harry covered Louis’ dick with his warm mouth and held it against his throat, Louis allowed a sound to escape his parted lips. The sound got Harry touching himself.

 Louis’ voice was hardly audible. Tears trickled down the side of his face and Harry felt like crying too. Harry loved Louis’ crying face but this one was a mixture of crying and desire, it was more than he could ever ask for.

               “Harry!” Louis’ body jerked forward, “ugh!” He moaned with a rasp deep in his throat. “Something –something!” One of Louis’ hands grabbed onto Harry’s curls, “oh God!”

The irony of it all.

               “Look at me.” Harry licked around the head of Louis’ dick, “babe, let me see those eyes when you cum.” Louis looked down quickly; finally he could see Harry’s face.

Louis stuck his lip in between his teeth, “wh -what’s happening?”

Harry smirked, rubbing Louis’ balls in his large hand, “you’re about to cum for me, pretty.” He licked the base teasingly, “I swear if I forget this in the morning I’ll hate myself.”

Louis tilted his head, “w-what?”

 Harry shook his head, putting his mouth back onto Louis’ erection. Louis was sure he was about to pee in Harry’s mouth, he was so sure but he couldn’t move away. The way Harry’s finger would dip into his sides, the way Harry’s mouth would cover his cock, the way Harry’s eyes never left him. Harry’s touches were sincere and they made Louis feel like he was hallucinating. It was exhilarating, it was such a rush and Louis was drowning in Harry’s mouth.

               White is normally described as the color you see when you’re going to heaven.

The color you see when you’re crossing over, but Louis was still alive.

 Harry was right though.

Louis had just taken a small trip to heaven.

-

               “Where’s Louis?”

               Harry stayed quiet as Zayn walked in the kitchen with food in his hand. “What happened?” Harry leaned on the counter not wanting to turn around. Zayn set the food down and sat on the half broken chair, “did you take him home?”

               “Nope.”

               “Then?”

               Harry turned around and shook his head, “he’s still sleeping.”

Zayn squinted at his friend, “he was pretty fucked up last night.”

               “Yep.”

               “I don’t understand, what happened? Why are you acting like that?” Zayn opened the box of pastries, “You’re scaring me, man.”

Harry closed his eyes and leaned his head upward.

 “I feel like shit, man.” Zayn bit into the food as Josh entered the kitchen sleepily, “oh fuck, food.” He grabbed two pastries at once, stuffing them in his mouth. “I just threw up everything from last night.”

Zayn scrunched his nose, “thanks.” He set down his food, “you guys don’t know how to hold down anything.”

“I gave Louis a blow job.”

The kitchen went silent, Josh swallowed down his food, “what?”

          Harry ran his hands through his hair, “Jesus Christ, it was wonderful. His body, his legs, his dick.”

               “Wait, you fucked Louis!”

               “No!” Harry groaned, “I blew him.”

 Zayn blinked a couple of times, “what?”

Harry hit the counter, “fuck, Zayn, cut that shit out! I fucking gave him a blow job!”

 Josh shook his head, “why?”

Zayn interrupted, “while he was drunk?”

               “Y-yeah.”

               “Harry…”

               “I know! Fuck!” Harry kicked the fridge, “I know I wasn’t supposed to!”

               Zayn crossed his arms, “damn, Haz.”

               “I know, dammit!” Harry gripped the counter top, “he just –fuck! He asked for it!”

               “While he was drunk?”

Harry nodded, “I was drunk and he was drunk- fuck, man!”

Josh burped loudly, “where is he?”

            “Upstairs, still sleeping.”

Josh nodded eating another pastry, “let’s get everyone out before he wakes up.” He groaned, cracking his back, “it’s gunna be a great day.”


	14. Don't Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

 

Heaven was not an understatement.

Louis could go on saying that he’d been to heaven and it was a lovely place.

He sat up slowly. Louis was a hundred percent sure that the air conditioning was never on; it had never been on. He whined softly holding his stomach for comfort.

He looked around,

no one.

 No one was here and because of that Louis wanted to cry, so he did. He got off the bed with difficultly, one hand on his tummy and one on his chest. He cried, tears soaking his bright red cheeks. He rubbed away his eye boogers.

Where was Harry?

Harry was a liar, he told Louis he wouldn’t leave him last night. Didn’t he? Louis remembered him saying that; then again, Louis remembered a lot.

He could remember what he ate for breakfast last week, he could remember where he was last year; Louis could remember almost every scripture in the bible. For example, Ephesians 5:5, ‘everyone who is sexually immoral or impure or covetous, has no inheritance in the kingdom of God’.

Yeah, Louis remembered a lot,

But Louis also ignored a lot.

But right now, all he could think about was Harry and why Harry was not next to him. Louis touched one of the doors in the room and opened it, a bathroom.

He stepped inside, touching marble, where were his shoes?- oh right. Harry had taken them off, right before his pants came off.

Louis looked in the mirror and twisted his head. That was him and there was no denying it. Louis’ eyes were a bright red and his lips were big and puffy. It was him but it didn’t look like him. He touched his arm and then his face.

Yes, it was Louis, but why did it feel like something was missing? Louis lifted his shirt, exposing his chest. There was no hole? There was nothing missing in his chest, but it really felt like there was.

He had to use the restroom, but no way, he would never use someone else’s restroom- Louis looked at the toilet. He’d never use someone’s toilet, but he’d let someone touch him? Did that make sense?

Louis padded over to the toilet and pulled aside his boxers; his eyes never left his penis while the pee flowed out of him.

It didn’t look any different, it looked normal. What did Harry do then? Why did it feel so good last night?  Harry had just touched it and Louis was on a ride.

Once everything was gone Louis tried touching it. He squeezed the limp appendage softly, nothing. Were Harry’s hand’s magic? Louis shook his head, fixing himself.

What had happened after Louis pee’d on him?

That’s why Harry left! Because Louis pee’d on him!

Louis wiped his eyes of the new tears starting to form, Harry hated him now. He had pee’d on him and just fell asleep! Louis couldn’t remember what happened after that.

He burped softly and the taste couldn’t have been more atrocious.

Louis rinsed his mouth in the sin, more tears coming to surface. It wasn’t his fault! Harry wouldn’t stop and he didn’t know pee would come out! Louis turned off the water, running to the room to find his pants, he had to find Harry and apologize.

 

-

Louis stepped over about four bodies while going down the stairs and tripped over two. When he got down stairs Louis realized something, something that ate him inside and out. He touched his neck and it felt warm, his neck wasn’t supposed to feel warm because Harry’s necklace was always cold. He scraped his nails over were the cross would land but no. There was no cross, there was no necklace. Louis muffle screamed, running up the stairs.

Where was his necklace!

Louis tripped over the bodies that he assumed to be dead and ran in the room throwing the sheets around. Where the hell was his cross! He threw everything off the bed before looking under it.

It started becoming hard to see when tears were blocking his view. He couldn’t find his necklace and it was breaking his heart. Louis ran out of the room, seeing that the bodies were no longer there. Was he going crazy or something? He touched his neck again –no! The bodies had been there and his necklace was missing!

He ran down the steps, turning the corner quickly. Louis rubbed his eyes vigorously; all he wanted was his necklace!

“Hey! Get the fuck out!”

Josh?

“You’ve over stayed your welcome, asshole! Leave!”

Josh.

Louis ran to the voice that was coming from outside. “Yes, yes. I know you’re tired. Come on, get up.”

“Josh?” Louis’ voice cracked.

The boy turned around with a frown, “hey Louis. How are you feeling, man?”

Louis shook his head, tears never finding an end. “W-where’s Ha-Harr-”

Josh grabbed Louis’ shoulder softly, “hey, what’s wrong? Relax.”

“No.” Louis cried against Josh’s shoulder, “wh-wh- where’s Harry?”

 Josh patted Louis’ back, “I know he shouldn’t have done that to you and I’m sorry. Please don’t hate him for it.”

 Louis lifted his head, “what?”

Josh nodded, “yes, he told us he gave you head and it was good, right?” Josh smiled softly, “you can still be friends. I’ve had sex with lots of girls who are still my friends.”

Louis’ lips trembled, “I don’t understand!” He cried harder, “I want my necklace!”

 Josh walked Louis inside, “Harry!” He walked him to the kitchen and sat him down. “Harry! Your boyfriend’s crying!”

Boyfriend?

 Louis looked at the box of pastries that suddenly looked very appetizing.

He picked up a donut covered in chocolate. He was so hungry and this donut looked so right, it didn’t matter that he didn’t eat sweets. Louis stuffed a big bite in his mouth, sob with a full mouth. There was stuff inside; there was some type of cream inside the donut. It was wonderful.

Louis took another bite.

 Josh had said boyfriend? Is that how it worked in gay relationships? When you touch each other, you’re immediately boyfriends? Louis didn’t know if he could commit to that, he’d never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, what if he was bad at it?

Louis stuffed the rest of the chocolate cream donut in his mouth and picked up a second, they were so good.

“Louis?” Harry slid next to him, “babe, are you okay?” Harry wiped away Louis’ teardrops, “what happened, Peanut?” 

Louis stared at him for a little while, “you left me.”

 Harry sighed in relief, “y-yeah, I’m sorry.”

“Harry.” Louis took another bite and whined, “M-my necklace!”

Harry was confused, “what?”

Louis held onto Harry’s shirt with one hand and the donut in the other, “my necklace is missing!”

Harry laughed softly, sitting down and pulling Louis into his lap, “you don’t remember anything, huh?”

Louis ate the rest of his donut, “I ca-can’t find it!”

Harry laughed harder, wiping Louis’ mouth with his thumb, he licked the cream off his finger. “I have it, Peanut. You asked me to hold it last night.”

Louis stood up quickly, “give it back!”

Harry smiled, pulling a familiar necklace out of his pocket, “here you go.”

Louis grabbed it with shaky hands and cried, with a smile, while putting it around his neck. “It’s back, thank you.”

“Harry you asshole- Louis!” Niall trudged in the kitchen after Josh, “you’re alive! Holy shit, man, Liam is pissed.”

Harry frowned, “why?”

“Cause he didn’t see you both once last night.” Niall laughed and picked up a swirl pastry, “I can’t remember shit.”

 Harry huffed, “damn.”

Louis looked at Harry, “I’m sorry.”

Harry pulled Louis closer by the shirt, “you didn’t do anything. I’m an asshole.”

“Yeah, you are!” Liam stomped into the kitchen with Zayn around his waist, “what the fuck, dude! Where were you?”

Harry bit his lip, “We’ll do something at the house, Li, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care! I was trying to take pictures!” Liam groaned rubbing his stomach, “fucking hell, I’m so hungry.” Zayn kissed his neck and whispered something making Liam relax, “I want a donut.”

 Josh laughed, “Oh, was this a great party or what?”

Liam sat on the chair next to Louis, “it was wonderful if I would have seen everyone!” Liam glared at Harry and Louis, “thanks.”

Louis pouted, “I’m sorry-“

“No, because I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.”

          Harry groaned loudly, “Jesus.”

“Harry blew Louis!” Josh interrupted, “now Louis hates him!”

 Liam looked at the pair with huge eyes, “what!”

Josh nodded, “but I talked to Lou-“

“Josh, you fucking bastard!” Harry stood up, “what the fuck is wrong with you!”

Louis held his necklace tightly. What just happened?

“I already talked to Louis about it! I was trying to change the subject! You should be thanking me!”

Harry growled, “I should fucking stab you!”

Liam stood up, “wait! You guys had sex?”

Louis blushed. “No…”He also wasn’t certain –maybe that did count as sex.

“No!” Harry ran his hands through his hair, “I gave him a blow job.”

Niall laughed, “Are you fucking kidding me!”

Louis looked around, Liam looked infuriated. Harry groaned, “yes, Jesus!”

“Harry what the fuck!” Liam shook his head, “was he drunk- were you drunk?”

“I think so.”

“What’d you give him, Haz!”

“All I gave him was drinks –and a bar!”

“Harry, come on! He’s never done that shit, you were supposed to take care of him, not drug him!”

“It was a mistake, okay!”

“Harry, that’s like rape!”

Harry looked up slowly, “are you fucking crazy?” He stood up, “I did not rape him, Liam. Did you just hear yourself? What the fuck is wrong with you? He was drunk and so was I! He asked me to fucking touch him! Don’t sit here and call me a goddamn rapist!”

The air in the room became 50% thicker.

“Fuck this.” Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and pulled him a way, “fuck you, Liam. Fuck all of you!” Harry’s voice cracked. “You’re all looking at me like I’m an animal or something! Fuck you!”

“Harry, Harry!” Liam quickly stood up, trying to grab him. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry.” Liam shook his head, “I didn’t mean that.”

“Whatever, let’s go, Lou.”

“Harry!” Liam was going to start crying. “Don’t go, I’m sorry!”

Louis shook his head, “I’m sorry that I’m making problems.”

Niall spoke up, “Louis, it’s not your fault.”

“I enjoyed everything last night. I knew what Harry did to me, I understand what happened and I did like it a lot. I was crying because my necklace was missing but Harry had it. I’m sorry that I didn’t see you last night, Liam.” Louis frowned, “I’m sorry I didn’t get to say happy birthday but thank you for inviting me.” Louis turned around to Harry, “you –you aren’t a rapist…” Louis grabbed Harry’s pinky with his and kissed the top of Harry’s hand, “thank you for taking care of me.”

“I guess we have to be boyfriends now.” Louis wiped his eyes, “because we touched each other. I guess that I’ll deal with it. I’m sorry if I’m really bad at it, I’ve never had one before.” Louis looked Harry in the eyes, “and I’m sorry I pee’d in your mouth last night, I didn’t know that’s what was going to happen.”

It got so quiet so fast

-

            “I cannot believe I left my key inside.”

Harry sighed sitting next to Louis, “I think you should take a nap then worry about your apartment later.”

Liam leaned on the wall quietly.

            “It’s Sunday, so the managers will be here tomorrow.”

Louis nodded, “okay. May I stay here?”

Harry chuckled softly, “yeah, Lou. That’s fine.”

Niall stumbled in with Zayn and a new box of goodies. “We brought more food.”

Zayn set it down on the coffee table, “if you guys are hungry.”

Louis looked at the white box then at Zayn, “thank you.”

Harry stood up, “I’ll be right back, gunna go get something.” He walked to the room followed by Liam.

-

            Harry huffed, “what do want?”

            “I’m sorry.”

          Harry shook his head, “whatever.” Liam sat on the corner of Harry’s bed, Harry ignored him still looking.

 “Harry please.”

He turned around swiftly, “fuck you.” Harry hissed, “You called me a fucking rapist.”

            “No! I didn’t!” Liam stood up crying and Harry fucking hated it.

He turned back around, trying to ignore it because he knew that he’d just wrap Liam up and never let him go.

“Har-Harry please. I didn’t mean it like that! I was just in shock!”

            “Oh, that’s nice to know.”

            “Please!” Liam grabbed onto Harry’s shirt, “I’m saying sorry!”

 The photographer groaned, finally looking his friend in the eye, “Liam, please stop crying.”

“I don’t wanna fight with you.” Liam rubbed his eyes.

          “I didn’t rape him.”

            “It was wrong of me, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know the whole story.”

          Harry sighed, “Come here, idiot.”

-

            “We’ll be back later, okay? Gotta help Josh clean up- uh, let them know we left. We’re getting a ride with him, okay?”

Louis nodded, “okay.” He was hoping he’d be alone for a while and this felt nice. He looked around the apartment; it looked the same as the last time he saw it.

            Louis looked past the bright curtains and outside. It was extra sunny today; it was nice.

Louis looked around the apartment again and stood up, he walked over to the frame covered wall. Harry had taken all of these too; they were wonderful. The pictures looked like fun and they all looked so happy.

Louis giggled at some of them, it must feel nice to have a lot of friends.

            Louis sat on the carpet and put his back against the wall. Why was he so calm? He knew what happened last night, Harry gave him a blowjob and he enjoyed it.

Louis put his head on his knees.

He liked it and now everything was over. He was Harry’s boyfriend now. Was that okay? Did Harry even want to date him; did they have a choice? Louis would have to marry a man and that was the end of it. –What would his parents say?

            Harry was nice and he was really good looking. He had really pretty curly hair and his eyes were a really nice green color. His dimples matched his face really well.

Louis smiled to himself; he had a pretty smile too.

Louis really liked Harry’s smile, it was so straight and it looked good on his face. Louis turned his head to look at one of the pictures above him; Harry had a lot of tattoos. Louis had seen them last night.

Louis didn’t know anything about dating. Hm, he didn’t know a bunch of things about Harry. That wouldn’t work; they should probably work on that.

            “Lou- uh, what are you doing on the floor?” Harry shook his head with a camera in his hand. “There is a couch you know?”

Louis nodded, standing up, “sorry.”

Harry smiled, “no, it’s okay. Whatever is more comfortable for you.”

            “Where’s Liam?”

            Harry pointed behind him, “going to take a shower.”

Louis nodded, “can we talk?”

Harry looked surprised, “uh, yeah, sure.” Louis nodded following Harry over to the couch. “So, you wanna talk about last night, huh?”

Louis blushed softly, “about everything, would be nice.”

            Harry nodded seriously, setting his camera down, “alright.”

            Louis took a deep breath, “did everything that happened last night actually happen?”

Harry closed his eyes, “what do you remember?”

Louis looked at his lap, “you kissed me… and more.”

Harry chuckled awkwardly, “yep.”

            “You put your mouth on me.”

            “Yes!” Harry laughed nervously, “yep, we did that- Yes, I di- did that!” Harry was stuttering, “I-I’m wow- I’m so fucking sorry about that.”

Louis felt like he was on the other end, he was used to being nervous but Harry was the nervous one this time. “It was nice, I liked it…” Louis bit his bottom lip, “you were really gentle.”

“Wow.”

 Louis giggled, “I guess we’re together now.”

Harry’s eyes grew, “pardon –hm, no?”

 Louis frowned, “but-”

            “No, um,” Harry shook his head. “What? We can’t- no, we can but we can’t.” Louis was confused but he expected it. Of course Harry didn’t want to be with him, why would he? “I like you.” Harry scratched his pants, “I like you but you, you do not like me.”

            “I do.” Louis nodded, “I do like you. You’re my friend.”

            “Yeah, you see, you like me as a friend.” Harry groaned, “This wasn’t the way it was supposed to work.”

            “How was it supposed to work?”

            “Well,” Harry cleared his throat, “I take you out and maybe go see a movie then I’d ask you to go out.”

Louis scrunched his brows, “you have to ask me to go out twice?”

Harry gripped the couch, “no, I mean ask you to be my boyfriend.”

Louis nodded, still a bit confused, “are you going to ask or should I?”

Harry laughed, “Why all of a sudden?” He pulled his hair, “a week or two ago you hated gay people- wh- I don’t get it?”

            Wow.

The whole time this was happening Louis had forgot. He wasn’t gay or he wasn’t supposed to be. Why hadn’t God come into play this whole time? Why hadn’t Louis even thought about Him? What the hell was happening?

Louis literally had a sexual encounter with a man, he kissed a man, Louis was about to date a man. He wanted to date Harry and he hadn’t stopped to even fathom that maybe God wouldn’t like his decision? He hadn’t stopped to think that he was a son of God and now, he would never gain entrance into God’s kingdom.

Louis would never be looked at the same again. But why didn’t Louis mind? He wanted it to bother him. He wanted it to eat him through, he wanted just the thought of looking at Harry to destroy him; but it didn’t. It didn’t eat at him, didn’t bother him, it just made him want Harry more.

            It made Louis want to kiss Harry again because he may have been drunk but he remembers his lips. Harry’s lips were so soft and when he kissed Louis it was slow and kind. Harry’s touch since day one had been kind, Harry’s touch always burned his skin. Now Louis was so hot it made Harry’s touches feel cold.

Great, again, Louis’ mind was wondering away from God. His mind was being consumed by Harry; the man whom obliterated his normal daily life. The man who made him smile and cry; the man that made him squirm and scream. The man that made him happy as hell and that was something Louis craved.

 

            “Lou?”

            “Hm?”

            “You good?”

            “I like you.” Louis blinked a couple of times, “I really like you and Niall told me fighting your feelings will get you nowhere so we might as well.”

 “Niall?”

            “Yes, Niall.” Louis breathed out, “and it’s okay. It’s time things change.” He rested his hands on his lap, “I don’t mind.”

Harry was having an internal crisis of his own. Louis, this boy that Harry was infatuated with, was giving himself up. He was literally sitting here giving himself to Harry. He wanted to date Harry and Harry did not have a clue how to respond. He’d always had dreams that Louis would be doing this but this was no dream. Or he hoped it wasn’t, because if it was, this is the worst dream ever.

            Louis looked like he was on drugs; it made Harry want to laugh; because Louis had been on drugs. Something was different about him, he looked extra pretty. Louis looked like he was glowing; it was different. Harry wanted him though, oh damn he wanted Louis so bad. But what the hell was going on? Harry wanted Louis and now Louis wanted Harry? Is that the way it worked? Was this seriously fucking happening or was Louis fucking with him.

            “You don’t mind?”

 Louis shook his head, “No.”

            “What about God and stuff?”

            “Didn’t you say it didn’t matter? I still love God…” Louis sighed, “You said it matters who you are.”

Harry chuckled, “wow. Are you serious, dude? Like you want to date me? For real?”

Louis shrugged softly, “I’ve never dated anyone, is it nice?”

            Harry grinned, “it’s very nice.”

            Louis nodded, “okay, I like nice.”

            “Yeah?”

Louis smiled softly, “yeah.”

-

“Louis, you didn’t pee in my mouth.”

Louis blushed, “I felt like I was.”

Harry laughed, holding his stomach, “no. I guarantee you didn’t. You came in my mouth.”

“Came?” Louis crossed his legs on Harry’s small couch, “where’d I go?”

“No. Oh my God.” Harry wiped his eyes, “sperm?”

Louis nodded, “yes. I know what that is.”

Harry nodded slowly, “yeah, that’s what was in my mouth.”

Louis pressed his lips together, “what?”

“Yes, peanut, you came in my mouth.” Harry crawled up to him, “maybe next time you’ll stay awake to see it.” Louis blushed as Harry’s fingers played with the hem of his shirt.

“Home!”

“Fuck.” Harry rolled his eyes, “go take a shower, Lou. I’ll bring you a towel- Room!”

Louis stood up, “where’s the bathroom?”

 “Harry, we brought left over cake!” Niall walked in with a big box in his hand, “where is Li?”

 Harry groaned standing up, “he went to see mom, she wanted to give him something for his birthday.”

            “All the way over there on bus?” Niall sat on the end of the bed, “sheesh, he could have waited- oh Josh, is waiting down stairs for us.”

Louis grabbed onto Harry’s arm, “the bathroom?”

Niall smirked, “it’s right outside this door. It has a fish painted on it.” He looked down at Louis’ hand, “you guys, uh, dating or something?”

Louis’ face grew hot and he let go.

            “Yeah- kind of.”

Niall smiled, “even though he pee-”

            “He didn’t fucking pee in my mouth!” Harry pushed Louis out of the room, “he came in my mouth!”

Niall walked past the pair, “Nasty, just nasty.”

            “Where’s Zayn?”

            “On the couch because he hates the stairs.”

-

            “So, you’re sleeping over?”

Louis nodded at Zayn, “yes- if that’s okay!”

            “Yeah, I mean, you’re Harry’s guest.” Zayn smirked, “you’ve changed quite a bit over one night.”

Louis looked at Zayn seriously, “what do you mean?”

Zayn leaned off the wall, “well, you’re in our house, sleeping over, wearing Harry’s clothes. You did drugs, you got drunk, got a blow job.”

            “I get it.” Louis sighed, “I’m sorry.”

            “No.” Zayn snorted, “Shit happens. Remember that.” He yawned, “Well, enjoy the house, the remote for the TV should be somewhere in this pig-sty.” Zayn shook his head looking around Harry’s room, “maybe you could help him keep his shit clean.”

Louis nodded slowly. “Alright.” He rubbed his arm, “where’d Harry go, again?”

          “To finish cleaning Josh’s house with Ni.” Zayn grabbed the door handle, “I’m gunna go nap because I worked hard enough.” He closed the door leaving Louis sitting on Harry’s large bed by himself.

            It felt kind of weird, Louis was used to a twin bed and a not so colorful room. He laid down slowly and in took the smell. It smelled exactly like Harry, which made sense because it was Harry’s bed.

It was strange;

Louis hadn’t felt himself falling asleep.

He hadn’t even noticed how tired he was. Louis hadn’t read the bible all day, he hadn’t prayed, he hadn’t even wanted to think about God or anything that had to do with Him. He felt happy that he was in Harry’s room, in Harry’s sweater, sleeping on Harry’s bed because, right now, all that he cared about was Harry.

           He did care about sleeping; he was pretty tired.

          Louis had plenty of thoughts racing through his mind –one, more prominent than the others.

‘Love covers a multitude of sins’.


	15. Hesh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ™  
> This chapter (so far) has been re-written. If there are any mistakes (I wouldn’t be surprised)
> 
> When I wrote this, I was pretty terrible, but I’ve grown. Every time I read old things it’s like the biggest eye roll because; why and no and omg. If you have read this story before, you may see differences but it was needed. (The concept will not change)
> 
> Thank you for giving my stories nothing but love and encouragements.

“So wait, who asked whom out?”

            Harry shook his head at Zayn, “we aren’t –well kind of. Dammit- I don’t know. We are dating, but we aren’t dating at the same time.”

Zayn raised an eyebrow, “you realize that makes no fucking sense, right?”

Harry brought the cigarette to his lips, “it’s complicated. He was like; ‘we’re dating now’, and I was like; ‘uh what?’ and he was like-”

            “Really Haz? You sound like a fucking child.”

            Harry rolled his eyes, leaving the stick against his lips. “Fuck you. I just don’t get it –like why- does he even fucking like me, or does he feel forced? I don’t want that, man.”

 Zayn nodded understandingly, “I get you, bro, I get you. Just talk to him about it.”

Harry took a hit and looked over the banister, “I guess.” He smirked, “can’t believe I got him though, it’s pretty fucking awesome.”

Zayn laughed, putting his feet up on the small table outside, “now just try and keep him.”

            “Harry?”

The photographer spun around, “hey Peanut.” He blew the smoke out of his mouth, squishing the cigarette bud into the ashtray. “How’d you sleep?”

            He stilled.

Oh.

Oh.

 Oh.

 Louis was not wearing glasses.

Where were his goddamn glasses!

Harry was about to have a stroke!

He knew it! He knew something bad would happen if Louis didn’t wear his fucking glasses! Harry could finally see it all! Harry could see his face now and damn, he was even more beautiful!

And the fucking sweater!

The sweater

The sweater

The sweater!

Harry needed to see a doctor because he was contemplating back flipping off the banister.

          Louis stepped outside slowly, barefoot, with Harry’s sweater reaching above his knee. He shrugged softly, “good. Sorry I didn’t wake up.”

            “No, please.” Harry rubbed his eyes, “it’s totally fine. You were tired.”

Louis nodded and looked at Zayn, “good morning…”

Zayn smirked standing up, “good morning. I’m gunna start getting ready for work.” He stepped past Louis, “uh, Harry, you’re gunna take me right?”

Harry groaned, “Ask Niall. I don’t feel like driving.”

            “No, man, Niall’s not gunna fucking wake up.”

Harry moved Louis out of the way softly, sticking his head inside. “Niall!”

The boy on the couch whined.

“Ni, go take Zayn to work, you lazy fuck!”

Niall rolled over, “leave me alone, bitch.”

Harry rubbed his face, “come on, Niall.”

            “No!” Niall covered his face, “shut up!”

Zayn tapped his wrist, “I’ll be ready in twenty minutes.”

Harry groaned, sitting down across from Louis. He smiled, “I like your sweater.”

Louis looked down, tugging at the big sweater delicately. “Thank you for letting me borrow it.”

Harry blinked slowly.

Harry had never seen Louis in sunlight, in morning sunlight –with no glasses! His eyes were a bright cerulean blue. They looked so animated and almost see through. He looked stunning.

 He looked like a little M&M in Harry’s sweater and it took every fiber of his being not to toss himself off the third floor of his balcony.

Harry was sure Louis hadn’t brushed his hair or teeth, he was sure that under his sweater all Louis had was skin and a pair of boxers.

That hurt.

 Louis was right there, in his arm’s length. All Harry had to do was lean forward and rip off everything. Rip it off and just admire him. He hadn’t got to see enough, he wanted to see… Harry wanted to see it all and all of it was just beyond that stupid sweater.

            “I should go home now.” Louis looked out to the street below, “my garden needs water.”

Harry laughed, “aw, you fucking nerd! You remembered about your plant?”

Louis nodded quickly and played with his necklace, “of course, I really like it and the tiny little people.” He giggled, “They are adorable.”

            “You’re adorable.”

            “What?”

            “Oh my God, I’m sorry.” Harry put his head down, “my bad.”

Louis laughed, rubbing his eyes with the paw of the sweater, “you’re funny, Harry.”

Harry smirked, looking up, “yeah? I didn’t tell you I was a comedian by morning?”

Louis smiled shyly, “no, I must have missed that part.”

Harry sighed with a smile, “Do you want me to go with you to get the keys?”

            “No, no. Thank you. You’ve done enough. I can go ask them for a key.” Louis stood up, “I just need my clothes.”

-

            “Harry, let’s go, man!”

            Harry closed the door, locking it and turned to Louis. “Alright, so you got everything?”

Louis gave a quick nod, “yes, thank you.”

            “Ugh- give me the fucking keys. You better be down in two minutes, jackass.”

          Harry glared, watching his roommate leave, “Sorry about Zayn.”

            “No, you better go though.” Louis stepped forward and wrapped his small arms around Harry awkwardly.

Harry pulled Louis in securely, “if you’re gunna hug me, do it properly.”

Louis smiled into Harry’s chest, “kay.”

-

             Louis finally stepped back into his home. He closed the door softly and walked to his kitchen quickly.

He put some water in a cup and watered his small garden. Louis sat on the couch in a huff, with a big smile on his face.

Harry was- he was so- ugh!

Louis covered his face and kicked his feet. He was so sweet! Louis didn’t understand what was happening! His stomach was all swirly and he couldn’t stop smiling, it was starting to hurt.

Louis looked at the pair on the small bench in his garden. Louis and Harry, Harry and Louis; it sounded nice.

He got on his knees in front of his new coffee table, picked up the small ‘Harry’, and stood him up. Louis smiled and stood the small him up, “hello Harry –hello Louis.” He giggled and sat them back down.

            Harry made him really happy, overly happy. He’d never felt that feeling; well, he had felt it before, but not like this. His parents never made him this happy, nothing made him this happy.

God

God made Louis happy but not the way Harry made Louis happy. Harry made Louis’ toes curl and his heart beat louder. Harry made Louis’ hands sweat and his blood pump.

He wanted another kiss.

Was he supposed to ask or could he just do it whenever? Louis needed the answers! Louis needed a computer; he needed to look up these answers. Or he could try the bible?

Louis stood up and walked to his room- oh.

 His room was, it was boring.

Louis opened the curtain slowly. He’d never opened that curtain.

 The aura in this room was awful. It felt nothing like his living room and it definitely didn’t feel like Harry’s house. Harry’s whole apartment felt warming and light; Louis’ was cold and dark.

 He stuck his hand under the pillow where his bible was not. Louis lifted up the pillow and looked around, shouldn’t it be there?

          He huffed, walking to the bathroom. Louis looked at the cross covered walls. He could understand why it scared Harry and Niall. He took off the biggest one that was nailed to the door; they didn’t look very pretty. When Louis had went into Harry’s bathroom it was painted blue and purple and covered in drawings of fish and bubbles.

Louis liked bubbles.

He slowly took down all the crosses.

It wasn’t like he was doing anything wrong, he didn’t need so many. By the end of it, Louis was left with bare white walls, nails inside. It looked nicer without them actually. He smiled at the bathroom walls; yes, much better.

Louis carried all the crosses to his closet and set them inside of an empty cardboard box. He closed the closet quickly. Now, where was his bible? Louis looked around the living room, finding it in between the couch. He sat on the couch, crisscross, and flipped through the small bended book.

“Alright.” Louis opened his eyes at the scripture he was pointing at, “Matthew 6:34; ‘so don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today’.”

Louis reread the scripture three times and each time it became more confusing. Louis flipped through the pages, thinking about the verse, until something fell out. He set down his book and picked up the small piece of paper. He smiled softly; it was the fortune cookie Harry had given him.

 _“Conquer your fears or they will conquer you.”_  

-

“Harry, what the fuck are you doing?”

The photographer sniffed at his sweater, holding it close, “Good morning, Liam.”

Liam scrunched his nose and sat on the couch in Harry’s room, “Afternoon, and what are you doing?”

He sat up, “sniffing my clothes.”

Liam nodded, “why?”

“Louis was wearing them.”

“Okay…”

Harry set the clothes aside, “how’d you sleep? You got in pretty fucking late.”

Liam yawned, “Yeah, mom ended up throwing me a baby party.”

Harry’s jaw fell, “What! And she didn’t invite us?”

Liam stretched, “it was just a mini party, calm down.”

Harry crossed his arms, “tisk, tisk. We are supposed to be family.”

“It would have just been complicated and Zayn had to work.” He yawned, “And you guys were helping Josh clean up. –Whatever, where’s Louis?”

Harry smiled drunkly, “at his place. –Oh Liam.”           

“Oh Harry.”

“Oh Liam.”

“Oh Harry.”

“Oh Liam, he is lovely.” Harry rubbed the sweater against his face. “He’s cracking that shell and soon it will fall completely and he will be mine. –Liam, he hugged me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! I wanted to pick his tiny ass up and pin him to a fucking wall.” Harry took a deep breath, “but I don’t wanna scare him away, you know, I gotta keep my composer."

Liam smiled, “don’t rush, okay? I’m serious.”

Harry rolled off the bed, “I know… we’re dating.”

“What? Harry!”

“What? He asked me out. No bullshit.”

Liam scratched his head, “That doesn’t make sense.”

Harry shrugged, “I don’t know, but it was too fast for me! Like, I don’t want him to want to have to date me.”

Liam put his hands up, “wait, are we talking about the same person?”

Harry waved his hands, “I know, I felt the same way. I guess he just wanted to open up and I allow him to.” Harry shrugged, “he makes me happy, Liam. I like him and I don’t want him to be with me like it’s a chore but at the same time I don’t care. If he is, I don’t think I’ll mind because I really fucking like him so I won’t let it bother me.”

Liam parted his lips but closed them, “You work today, right?”

“Uh, I’m supposed to take photos for a child’s party, it’s tonight, but right now I need to go to Dani’s house and finish her tattoo.”

Liam nodded and stood, “alright, I’m going to shower, then go running.”

-

          “Liam? Um, hi.”

Liam gave a half smile, “Hi Louis. How are you?”

“Good.” Louis pointed his thumb inside, “Would you like to come in?”

“Sure.”

            Louis walked Liam over to his couch, “is everything alright?”

Liam smiled sadly, “yeah- well yes. Everything’s fine just- um- you and Harry are dating?”

The smile didn’t hesitate to slap onto Louis’ face. He sat down slowly, “well yes.”

Liam squinted trying to analyze him. “And you are alright with it?”

Louis stopped playing with his cross, “yes, me and Harry have to talk about it a little more but I guess I’m okay with it.”

            “You guess?” Liam took a seat next to him, “Louis, I know you’re an adult, but do you understand what dating Harry means?”

Louis looked away from Liam’s sharp eyes, “I don’t know… I’ve never dated someone.”

Liam sighed softly, “Look, I’m not here to be mean. I’m your friend, Louis, but Harry is my brother and I can’t have you hurting him. You understand that, right?”

Louis’ lip wobbled –he had tried to ignore it since he woke up, but his head hurt a lot –Liam wasn’t helping.

            “Louis.” Liam grabbed his hand, “I’m not trying to make you cry.”

            “I’m sorry.” Louis’ hands trembled, “I’m not trying to hurt him- I-I haven’t done anything.”

Liam wiped Louis’ face with his hand, “no, Louis, I never said you hurt him.” He frowned, “would you like me to explain?”

Louis sniffled, moving his face away from Liam’s hand, “explain what?”

            “Explain Harry.”

            Louis wiped his nose, “I don’t know.”

            “Louis, I think you are confused or something, okay?” Liam breathed, “I’m not here to tell you what to do or make you cry. I am here because I don’t need Harry being hurt. That boy likes you so fucking much it scares us all. –Do you like him?”

            “Harry?”

            “Yes.”

            “I do like Harry.”

            “Okay, that is fine, but I don’t understand. You weren’t too fond of gays a while ago?”

            “I know.” Louis stood up, “I know, but Harry told me that being gay didn’t matter and I listened. I like to listen to Harry because he helps me! I like him because he is my first friend –he used to terrify me but now he makes me so happy and I’m not used to it. I don’t know how a relationship works, and I’m nervous but, for once, I’m trying to do something other than stay in my house and read the freaking bible all day!”

Louis’ lips trembled and fresh tears scurried down his cheeks, “I want to be with Harry because he’s nice and kind to me. He makes me curious and he makes me think. I really like him, and I know I shouldn’t, for so many reasons, but Niall told me I shouldn’t run from my feelings and I’m trying not to.”

            Liam blinked a couple of times then relaxed, “alright.”

            Louis wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, “alright?”

            “I will help you.”

Louis sat back hesitantly, “what?”

 Liam nodded, “Ask me anything, go, anything about a relationship. You are inexperienced and there is nothing wrong with it. You just showed me that people change and I need to accept it. So if you wanna be with Harry, or anyone, there are things you need to know that I’m sure you don’t know. So come on, ask.”

            “Oh.” Louis nodded, rubbing his nose, “um- okay- sorry.” He cleared his throat, “in a homosexual relationship, when they touch you, it means you’re dating?”

Liam made a funny face, “pardon?”

 Louis sat up straight, “since Harry touched me, we have to date, right?”

Liam put his head in his hands, “no.” He chuckled, “what the fuck. No, who told you that?”

            Louis shrugged, “Josh had called me and Harry boyfriends so I thought-”

            “Oh my God, Louis!” Liam groaned, “He was just fucking with you guys. You don’t have to date anyone! You date whoever you want, whether they’ve touched you or not.  Harry gave you a blow job because you both were messed up and, ugh-” Liam rubbed his temple, “he shouldn’t have but it already happened and it was consensual and you were okay, but that doesn’t mean you have to date him!”

 “I didn’t know…”

            “Louis, you will never be forced to date someone or be with someone unless you want to. Don’t let anyone tell you different.”

Louis nodded, “okay… I want to be with Harry, regardless.”

            “I hope so.” Liam laughed, “Go on, next question.”

            “Oh, uh, what do- what do gay couples do for fun?”

            Liam pressed his tongue to his cheek, “what’s with this ‘gay couples’? Forget the sex part, this is a life lesson. Everyone is equal no matter. Gay and straight couples can both do the same thing. When it comes to having fun, or going out, you can do whatever floats your boat. You can go to the movies, go eat ice cream, go driving, go to the park. Gay people are still people, Louis.”

            “I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”

           Liam shook his head, “these are things everyone should know, and understand, so don’t apologize if you don’t know it because now you do. –Okay, next.”

            Louis swallowed the spit building up in his mouth, “do I have to have sex all the time now? Because I don’t know how.”

          “Louis, Louis, who has put all this shit in your head? It beater have not been Josh.”

            “No, I think it was myself.”

            Liam sighed, “Okay. Well you need to stop thinking that someone can force you to do something. You do what you want to do. If you want to have sex with Harry, or anyone, do it. Just ask or talk to them about it. If you don’t, then no one should have to rush you and if they do tell them to fuck off. Got it?”

            “Yes.”

            “Alright, next.”

            “Why, when I touch myself- you know, down there, nothing happens. But when Harry did- it felt different?”

Liam looked up, “Lord, this is going to be a long afternoon.”

-

            “Where’s Liam, Niall?”

            “Don’t know!”

            Harry groaned, grabbing his keys, “I’m going to Louis’! Let him know I punched Andy in the back of his fucking head!”

            “What?” Niall ran out of the bathroom with shaving cream on his face, “you did what?”

            “I hit him,” Harry smiled. “In the back of the head.”

            “What the fuck, Haz? Why would you do that?”

            “He came over Dani’s house and started bitching cause I wouldn’t tat him but I’d tat his ‘nasty ass ex-girlfriend’.” Harry shrugged, “so when he turned around to grab the baby, I punched him… in the back of his head.”

Niall shook his head, “you need to stay out of their shit, Haz.”

            “What! You want me to let him say that?”

            “Obviously not, but don’t hit him! Liam’s gunna get mad.”

-

                   “In my butt!”

                   “Yes Louis, and I can tell you right now, Harry is not a bottom boy.”

                   Louis rubbed his throat, “Zayn puts it-”

                   “In my ass, yes.”

Louis blushed dark red, “does it hurt?”

            “Like a mother fucker, but only at first.” Liam smiled softly, “after, it’s wonderful, especially because it’s someone I love.”

Louis nodded and looked towards the door. Liam stood up, fixing his shirt, “I bet you it’s Niall or Harry.” Liam padded over to the door while Louis stayed on the couch.

“Uh, what are you doing here?”  Harry walked into Louis’ living room pointing back at Liam. “What’s he doing here?”

“I’ll talk to you later, Louis, okay?”

“Okay, thank you.”

            Liam ignored Harry’s confusion, “I will see you at home.” Harry’s eyes followed Liam out until the door closed shut.

“Hi Harry.”

Harry turned around, “hey, Lou. Is everything alright?”

Louis nodded and walked closer to Harry, “yes, Liam just came over to talk. Everything’s fine.”

Harry smiled and fixed his hair. He sat on the couch in a flop. “I just did a friend’s tattoo and my hand is numb.” He leaned forward, “aw, look at your little garden. Did you water it?”

Louis smiled and sat on the floor next to Harry’s leg, “yes. I need a table for outside, so it can get some sunlight.”

            “I’ll let Niall know. –What’d you name it?”

            “Huh?”

            Harry chuckled, “have you named it?”

            Louis scratched his arm, “um, why would I name it?”

Harry sat on the floor next to him, “I don’t know, I like to name my stuff.” He shrugged, setting his phone and keys on the glass table, “it gives you a better attachment to it.”

Louis couldn’t take his eyes off Harry. Liam had given him an ear full on sex and what you should do before and after sex and Louis was horrified. Liam said to make sure your partner has no STD’s and make sure they clean themselves well. He said that if the partner has a big penis it would probably hurt and that scared Louis because he’d never seen Harry’s penis.

            “What should I name it then?”

            “Well, you first need to decide if it’s a girl or boy.” Harry took a good look at the small garden, “hm, kind of looks like a boy to me.”

Louis tilted his head and got closer, “how can you tell?”

Harry laughed, “Just really look at it.” He touched the small leaves on the tree, “I don’t know, looks like a boy.”

            Louis cut his eyes at the plant trying to, ‘really look at it’, it kind of- well it was a plant so it shouldn’t have a gender, but if it did have a gender, Louis thinks it would be a girl- yep, definitely a girl.

            “It looks like a female to me.” Louis stood the little him up, “is that okay?”

            Harry picked his little him up, “really? I think it’s a boy.”

          Harry walked his small-self up to Louis’. Louis smiled and twisted his character as though it was talking, “I think it’s a girl.”

            Harry twisted his, “well then, you have a transgender plant.”

          Louis giggled and made his tiny figurine hop, “yay!”

Harry leaned his figurine forward, touching his and Louis’ small dolls, and made a kissing sound. “Our first baby! Now, what shall we name hesh?”

Louis laughed, pushing his little doll against Harry’s, “what’s a ‘hesh’?”

Harry walked his over to the tree, “a hesh is a he and a she combined.”

 Louis followed, “okay, we’ll name hesh, Ariel.”

Harry looked up at Louis and smiled warmly, “that’s exactly what I was thinking.” Louis bit his lip and set his mini back on the bench. Harry left his by the tree but Louis didn’t like that.

            “Nope,” Louis picked it up and sat it next to his, “they have to always sit next to each other.”

Harry grinned, chewing the gum in his mouth. He squeezed Louis’ cheeks together softly, “yeah? Why’s that?”

Louis knew it was coming and he felt anxious.

 It took about three seconds after Harry’s question for their lips to connect. Louis had been drunk the night he kissed Harry and the kiss had been amazing but this was even better. Louis actually kissed back making Harry’s kiss become more forceful and Louis wanted more forceful. He wanted to see what Harry could actually do.

            “Oh my God!” Louis choked and rubbed his throat, “I swallowed your gum!”

            The photographer laughed, pushing forward, making Louis lay back against the floor. “Don’t worry, swallowing gum helps digestion.”

          Harry was on him and it reminded him of when he first met Harry. It was completely different this time though, Harry’s body was hot and their bodies fit together oh-so-nicely.

Harry’s lips moved away from Louis’, finally giving him air. The air was soon stripped away as Harry’s lips found their way to Louis throat.

            Harry licked where Louis’ Adams apple was and sucked on the skin, causing the older boy to whimper. Something about the heat of Harry’s tongue and the pressure when he sucked felt so good and Louis knew something was happening underneath the cloth on his body.

            Normally, Louis’ apartment was pretty quiet, except for some birds that would make noise. It was still quiet, but it felt like the breathing and moans were echoing off the walls. Louis could hear his chest driving but then his breath would suddenly become louder than his chest. Harry’s licks seemed to leave bruising marks that sizzled into Louis’ clean skin. Harry’s hand crept up Louis’ shirt and rubbed deep circles into the small pudge of skin.

            “H-Harry.”

The photographer removed his head from Louis’ neck area, his eyes a dark rich green. It was drowning everything that wanted to come out of Louis’ mouth. Harry’s eyes looked like something Louis had saw on animal planet a long time ago. There was a wolf and he was trying to catch his prey. When they had zoomed in on the wolf’s face, his eyes had changed to a dark gray. And that’s what Harry looked like, he looked like he wanted to eat Louis and Louis didn’t mind being eaten, not at all.

            “Eat me…” Harry sat up quickly and Louis opened his eyes. “Oh- Oh, I’m sorry!”

Harry chuckled in confusion, “what did you just say?”

Louis shook his head and sat up, “nothing! I’m sorry! It slipped!” How embarrassing!

“No.” Harry grabbed the back of Louis’ neck and Louis could see his eyes changing again, “say it again.”

            His lips parted slightly and he took a small breath, “e-eat me…”

Harry nodded quickly, “That’s what I thought you said.” He pulled Louis roughly, bruising his lips and positioning him into Harry’s lap. Harry slid both hands under Louis’ shirt, making the boy arch his back against the rough hands.

Harry’s hands were touching over his body so quickly, like he was looking for something that Louis clearly did not have. Louis could feel his pants becoming too tight and it was really uncomfortable. Harry’s search stopped when his hands landed on Louis’ bum. Harry groaned deep in his throat and squeezed each cheek with force, “shit, shit, this ass.”

 Louis could feel small tears on the corner of his eyes. He really wanted to take his pants off, he felt like something was going to explode.

            “Louis, damn.” Harry squeezed Louis’ ass one more time and crept his hands upward, along Louis’ spine. “I wanna fuck the shit out of you, Peanut.” Louis’ breath was shaky; he laid his head against Harry’s shoulder. Harry sighed, “But not yet- fuck.” He rested his head against Louis’ shoulder, letting his hands massage Louis’ lower back, “not yet…”


End file.
